Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[InternetApex]

The Reds broadcast was great. They were talking about how pitchers will adjust and figure out Schwarber.

"But, you know what happens in the big leagues. They get the book on you. You begin to move the ball around a little bit. Find out what you can and can't do. Can you keep up with adding and subtracting. [Pena sets up low and away] Can you go outside ... low and outside ... and get that pitch?" *CRACK*

I need to hear and see this somehow

The Schwarber/Bryant stuff is all well and good, but if our ultimate goal here is to cause the Reds and Cardinals announcers to all drop dead of butthurtedness, it's going to have to be Soler to do it. If a flashy Latin like him can hit a couple of game winning dongs followed by a bat flip and/or kiss of the gold chain and/or slow pimp trot around the bases, I think those guys will all finally die.

It keeps getting repeated over and over and it feels like it's never going to happen because of how long and protracted the offensive slump has been, but other than Rizzo (and Schwarber apparently) none of these guys has yet to have one of those asburd hot streaks where you just can't get them out for a week or so. I feel like it's going to happen for Bryant and Soler soon, and Soler is absolutely going to do it with the most flair, and butts will be hurt.

Soler is really squaring a lot of balls up. His batted ball outs are usually well struck and we've talked about his top-rated exit velocity. With him, it seems he doesn't always lay off of pitches he can't handle and the breaking stuff down is getting him out. Bryant and Russell miss center cut fastballs by six inches and seem to want to crush everything hittable. You see Bryant's head coming off the ball a lot lately. Maddon said they both might be dealing with fatigue, which nobody wants to hear. The month off for Soler may actually benefit him at some point.

Yeah Soler's got an .833 OPS over the last week with almost every out being a loud one. He's some better BABIP luck away from a Schwarber game himself.

His BABIP is .385 over that time. It's the .333 strike out rate that has to correct.

Broken clock something something.

[SKO]

The Reds broadcast was great. They were talking about how pitchers will adjust and figure out Schwarber.

"But, you know what happens in the big leagues. They get the book on you. You begin to move the ball around a little bit. Find out what you can and can't do. Can you keep up with adding and subtracting. [Pena sets up low and away] Can you go outside ... low and outside ... and get that pitch?" *CRACK*

I need to hear and see this somehow

The Schwarber/Bryant stuff is all well and good, but if our ultimate goal here is to cause the Reds and Cardinals announcers to all drop dead of butthurtedness, it's going to have to be Soler to do it. If a flashy Latin like him can hit a couple of game winning dongs followed by a bat flip and/or kiss of the gold chain and/or slow pimp trot around the bases, I think those guys will all finally die.

It keeps getting repeated over and over and it feels like it's never going to happen because of how long and protracted the offensive slump has been, but other than Rizzo (and Schwarber apparently) none of these guys has yet to have one of those asburd hot streaks where you just can't get them out for a week or so. I feel like it's going to happen for Bryant and Soler soon, and Soler is absolutely going to do it with the most flair, and butts will be hurt.

Soler is really squaring a lot of balls up. His batted ball outs are usually well struck and we've talked about his top-rated exit velocity. With him, it seems he doesn't always lay off of pitches he can't handle and the breaking stuff down is getting him out. Bryant and Russell miss center cut fastballs by six inches and seem to want to crush everything hittable. You see Bryant's head coming off the ball a lot lately. Maddon said they both might be dealing with fatigue, which nobody wants to hear. The month off for Soler may actually benefit him at some point.

Yeah Soler's got an .833 OPS over the last week with almost every out being a loud one. He's some better BABIP luck away from a Schwarber game himself.

His BABIP is .385 over that time. It's the .333 strike out rate that has to correct.

It's true, but with the amount of loud outs he's made in that time it's hard to say his BABIP shouldn't be higher than that over that stretch. Certainly unlucky was probably the wrong way to phrase that, but between Philips robbing him of the game tying hit the other night and some others he's smoked right at defenders, he could easily have had a better week than this, and he's had a pretty good week.

[Bort]

The Reds broadcast was great. They were talking about how pitchers will adjust and figure out Schwarber.

"But, you know what happens in the big leagues. They get the book on you. You begin to move the ball around a little bit. Find out what you can and can't do. Can you keep up with adding and subtracting. [Pena sets up low and away] Can you go outside ... low and outside ... and get that pitch?" *CRACK*

I need to hear and see this somehow

The Schwarber/Bryant stuff is all well and good, but if our ultimate goal here is to cause the Reds and Cardinals announcers to all drop dead of butthurtedness, it's going to have to be Soler to do it. If a flashy Latin like him can hit a couple of game winning dongs followed by a bat flip and/or kiss of the gold chain and/or slow pimp trot around the bases, I think those guys will all finally die.

"Alright this Soler kid is a nice hitter but what's with the size of that gold chain? That's a little much don't you think? white power"

"White power"

This made me laugh heartily.

[Saul Goodman]

The Reds broadcast was great. They were talking about how pitchers will adjust and figure out Schwarber.

"But, you know what happens in the big leagues. They get the book on you. You begin to move the ball around a little bit. Find out what you can and can't do. Can you keep up with adding and subtracting. [Pena sets up low and away] Can you go outside ... low and outside ... and get that pitch?" *CRACK*

I loved the TV call. The instant Schwarber made contact in the 9th inning, as the ball is still traveling upward: "And this game is tied. Schwarber hits one a MILE." More of that today, please. I hate the Reds.

[Quality Start Machine]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

[SKO]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

His approach is pretty perfect. His one weakness appears to be high fastballs, but that's a dangerous game to play with him, I think. Sure, if you can throw 95+ in just the right spot up high, you can get him, but he's got the discipline to lay off ones that are clearly out of the zone and if you miss low you're fucked.

[Eli]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

[Quality Start Machine]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

Is it wrong of me to think that it's his instinct to do that? There some people who are just good at certain things, and it seems like Schwarber's instincts (as opposed to someone like, say, Junior Lake, who has taught himself the OBP skill this year at Iowa) tell him to just hit what is given to him.

[Eli]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

[Quality Start Machine]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

[Eli]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

Seeing as how I may have inadvertently started a "Kyle Hendricks is getting traded" rumor on Twitter, I probably should wield my authority more carefully.

[CT III]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

Seeing as how I may have inadvertently started a "Kyle Hendricks is getting traded" rumor on Twitter, I probably should wield my authority more carefully.

Please don't. Watching you sow the seeds of butthurt amongst Cubs' Twitter personalities is one of my favorite things.

[SKO]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

Seeing as how I may have inadvertently started a "Kyle Hendricks is getting traded" rumor on Twitter, I probably should wield my authority more carefully.

Please don't. Watching you sow the seeds of butthurt amongst Cubs' Twitter personalities is one of my favorite things.

It's so great. The CubsDen guy in particular is nearing Al levels of sanctimonious butthurt that someone would dare question him.

[Eli]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

Seeing as how I may have inadvertently started a "Kyle Hendricks is getting traded" rumor on Twitter, I probably should wield my authority more carefully.

Please don't. Watching you sow the seeds of butthurt amongst Cubs' Twitter personalities is one of my favorite things.

It's so great. The CubsDen guy in particular is nearing Al levels of sanctimonious butthurt that someone would dare question him.

Not to spend too much time rehashing things from other websites on this website, but that was a downright weird exchange. I haven't interacted much personally with Arguello, but it's pretty obvious that he likes to think of himself as a very serious grown up adult man.

CT's succinct counterpoint here elicited a good muttley.