Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[Slaky]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

[PenFoe]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/10/08/theo-epstein-kyle-schwarber-called-his-homer-off-gerrit-cole/

[InternetApex]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

[PenFoe]

Did anyone, anywhere get a shot of the splashdown on Schwarber's dong (or at least confirm that it went in the river)? I've enjoyed TBS postseason broadcasts in the past, and I'm sure my ungodly levels of anxiety skewed my POV, but I thought they did a shit job last night.

Didn't get a shot of Schwarber's dong landing.

Didn't show the classic angle THAT EVERY BROADCAST SHOWS of Bryant's check swing to see if he got jobbed.

Primary camera angle sucked - either that or their K zone was way off because pitches that looked to the naked eye like they were in our near the strike zone were showing up way outside of their K zone.

And then Ron Darling's horseshit opinion about Jake being to blame for the benches clearing.

I can't remember ever watching a game where my perception of the strike zone was so inconsistent with what the K Zone was showing. 

It certainly made the home plate ump look terrible, though he was consistently terrible, based on K Zone.

[Brownie]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

Son, I don't know what kind of SPORTZ! they teach in West Lafayette, but this Schwarber kid did his SPORTZ-learning in Bloomington, Indiana. City of Champions.

Also, every last word you said. I really have nothing to add, but decided to because time to post and such.

[SKO]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

[thehawk]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

[PenFoe]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

I'll take it.  They never cared when the Cubs were terrible, so it's a good sign. 

Hell, we lived with and support Joakim, we can do this easily.

[SKO]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

Bryant will also piss off a lot of people by simply appearing to be a robot manufactured at Addidas to spew "aw shuck"-isms and sell shoes. I don't actually think there's anything fake about Bryant's wholesomeness but eventually it'll be forced down the nation's throat to where they'll hate him like they did Jeter.

[PenFoe]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

Bryant will also piss off a lot of people by simply appearing to be a robot manufactured at Addidas to spew "aw shuck"-isms and sell shoes. I don't actually think there's anything fake about Bryant's wholesomeness but eventually it'll be forced down the nation's throat to where they'll hate him like they did Jeter.

[Yeti]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

Bryant will also piss off a lot of people by simply appearing to be a robot manufactured at Addidas to spew "aw shuck"-isms and sell shoes. I don't actually think there's anything fake about Bryant's wholesomeness but eventually it'll be forced down the nation's throat to where they'll hate him like they did Jeter.

Yea, plus Bryant doesn't drink, supposedly... So, yea, he'll Aw Shucks us and I'll kind of dislike him for that, but his donging will far overshadow that.

[InternetApex]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

Son, I don't know what kind of SPORTZ! they teach in West Lafayette, but this Schwarber kid did his SPORTZ-learning in Bloomington, Indiana. City of Champions.

Also, every last word you said. I really have nothing to add, but decided to because time to post and such.

Maybe I should revisit the whole Bob Knight legacy with a fresh perspective.

[SKO]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

Bryant will also piss off a lot of people by simply appearing to be a robot manufactured at Addidas to spew "aw shuck"-isms and sell shoes. I don't actually think there's anything fake about Bryant's wholesomeness but eventually it'll be forced down the nation's throat to where they'll hate him like they did Jeter.

Yea, plus Bryant doesn't drink, supposedly... So, yea, he'll Aw Shucks us and I'll kind of dislike him for that, but his donging will far overshadow that.

The Aw Shucksness doesn't bother me if it's real. As much as I dislike the idiots surrounding Tim Tebow, I've never disliked Tebow. He's a harmless, kind idiot who appears to practice what he preaches. Wilson seems like a hypocrite who has gotten divorced and is most definitely banging Ciara and has no authentic personality of any kind in public.

Bryant seems like a great kid. Same girlfriend since high school, always says the right things, yeah, but everyone who has ever met him says that's who he is. He has a real personality as evidenced by his bromance with Rizzo and all the instagram videos and stuff. Just doesn't seem like there's anything fake about it, but maybe it'll wear on me eventually.

Jeter was a selfish prick who should have let A-Rod play SS and constantly feuded with teammates he deemed unworthy. Fuck that guy.

[InternetApex]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

I'll take it.  They never cared when the Cubs were terrible, so it's a good sign. 

Hell, we lived with and support Joakim, we can do this easily.

No, WE didn't. I resent the inference that there's a single player on this Cubs team that is as sweaty, ugly and smelly as that fuckface.

[PenFoe]

Can any of you that knows how to gif a thing gif that batflip into this thread so that it may preserved for all of eternity until the next ratto

So, what do you call that bat flip? It's not really a flip.  Bat Drop?

It was so dismissive. Beautifully dismissive

It was curious as to why Cole even tried to attack him there. Based on Cervilli's target he didn't miss by that much. I get wanting to bust him inside and maybe try to get him to roll over on one in his hands but god damn is that living dangerously near the wheelhouse of a guy like Schwarber, and they paid for it dearly.

How many of you thought, after 2-0, that Schwarber was sitting on something? I thought he was going to get that breaking pitch he destroyed on 2-0 but Cole went with a fastball that tailed nicely over the outer half. I think Schwarber decided to just wait for that exact pitch.

Also if you didn't see Theo's comments about Kyle saying to him two weeks ago that he would put one in the river off Cole. I mean holy shit.

I thought I heard him say that. I was in the other room. Wow. I bet as he gets older and better he'll get even more insolent. Other teams' fans will probably learn to despise him. I already dig the way he stares pitchers down like he's going to stuff them in a locker if they act up.

The day he told Jake Peavy to go fuck himself when Peavy tried to teach him to RESPEKT DA GAME he endeared himself to me forever. I can't believe Eli tried to trade him for Cole Hamels.

I think there are going to be a lot of Cubs that other fanbases will despise. Arrieta's cyborg confidence, Rizzo being a bit of a redass, Schwarber, Castro's taking long looks at homeruns, Soler being latin....

I eagerly await their scorn.

I'll take it.  They never cared when the Cubs were terrible, so it's a good sign. 

Hell, we lived with and support Joakim, we can do this easily.

No, WE didn't. I resent the inference that there's a single player on this Cubs team that is as sweaty, ugly and smelly as that fuckface.

Never forget.