Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[PenFoe]

So...maybe he actually can stick at catcher?

Is that what we want? Wouldn't that mean he's NOT Babe fucking Ruth? Because if he is in fact that, they won't play him at catcher. If he's merely Wellington fucking Servardihill, I think we're all glad he's not Paul Bako and do some shirtless chest bumps anyway. But when I see, Schwarber, Catcher, it's not full on 5-second sploogetasticism in less than optimal stance material.

It sounded like the catcher path would slow him down. If he keeps hitting he'll force his way into the majors at a different position. I think catcher is a position I don't really want to see fucked around with. Elite catcher bat combined with poor catching skills is a scary proposition. I'd take an average catcher bat as long as the guy can call/receive a good game and throw. Maybe that's dumb.

I'm glad I don't have to make decisions like this because. Fuck.

I'll take Schwarber as an average catcher who can hit the everloving fuck out of the ball and be ready to start 2017. 

Granted, I'd also take Shwarber as an average LF who can hit the everloving fuck out of the ball and be ready in the middle of 2016, but I'll take option 1 first.

[Slaky]

So...maybe he actually can stick at catcher?

Is that what we want? Wouldn't that mean he's NOT Babe fucking Ruth? Because if he is in fact that, they won't play him at catcher. If he's merely Wellington fucking Servardihill, I think we're all glad he's not Paul Bako and do some shirtless chest bumps anyway. But when I see, Schwarber, Catcher, it's not full on 5-second sploogetasticism in less than optimal stance material.

It sounded like the catcher path would slow him down. If he keeps hitting he'll force his way into the majors at a different position. I think catcher is a position I don't really want to see fucked around with. Elite catcher bat combined with poor catching skills is a scary proposition. I'd take an average catcher bat as long as the guy can call/receive a good game and throw. Maybe that's dumb.

I'm glad I don't have to make decisions like this because. Fuck.

Well Al Yellon got caught by his lady blowing a dude and then murdered her on a jet ski so there are worse things.

[Quality Start Machine]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

[PenFoe]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

[Quality Start Machine]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

[PenFoe]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

Could make a pretty strong case that they're better than Bryant's.

[ChuckD]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

Could make a pretty strong case that they're better than Bryant's.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I really don't know if my boner has gone down at all this minor league season.

[Tonker]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

Could make a pretty strong case that they're better than Bryant's.

Nah.  Bryant has proportionately more RBI, and a SB success rate of 100%, as opposed to Schwarber's 50%.

[Eli]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

Could make a pretty strong case that they're better than Bryant's.

It'll be nice to not have to keep a nervous eye on K% for a slugging prospect.

[Quality Start Machine]

Homers in 5 straight games, including 2 today.

Sploosh.

So much for him wearing down after a long college and pro season.

Though I do hope he sits out the offseason and then starts in AA next year.

Right now his first year numbers are 2013 Bryant-like. Maybe he'll wind up doing the same half AA/half AAA thing next year.

Could make a pretty strong case that they're better than Bryant's.

Nah.  Bryant has proportionately more RBI, and a SB success rate of 100%, as opposed to Schwarber's 50%.

Why isn't there a YouTube video yet of all Schwarber's stolen bases and triples?

[Quality Start Machine]

Bump.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Bump.

Holy fuck.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Bump.

Holy fuck.

The ball just landed.

[SKO]

His offensive numbers look about as good as expected, has anyone seen/read anything about him behind the plate so far? I haven't seen anything about it since spring training.