Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[SKO]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

I was always amused-in a typically sophomoric way--how much Andy would rip on Neyer, dating back to at least 2003, but always felt a little bad for Neyer, who seemed to be a good enough guy and had what seemed at the time to be some good insight.

After seeing Neyer give sincere attribution to Alvin after all these years makes me mad at myself for even feeling remotely conflicted about all the shit Andy use to give him.

[Oleg]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

I was always amused-in a typically sophomoric way--how much Andy would rip on Neyer, dating back to at least 2003, but always felt a little bad for Neyer, who seemed to be a good enough guy and had what seemed at the time to be some good insight.

After seeing Neyer give sincere attribution to Alvin after all these years makes me mad at myself for even feeling remotely conflicted about all the shit Andy use to give him.

He has decent content but his writing is terrible.

Proof:

Great baseball players aren't named Scwharber. Until one is.

[SKO]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

I was always amused-in a typically sophomoric way--how much Andy would rip on Neyer, dating back to at least 2003, but always felt a little bad for Neyer, who seemed to be a good enough guy and had what seemed at the time to be some good insight.

After seeing Neyer give sincere attribution to Alvin after all these years makes me mad at myself for even feeling remotely conflicted about all the shit Andy use to give him.

He has decent content but his writing is terrible.

Proof:

Great baseball players aren't named Scwharber. Until one is.

Eli done hurt Rob's feelings: http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/just-a-bit-outside/baseball-joe/blog/yes-the-cubs-might-trade-anthony-rizzo-060215

To be fair, if the Angels offered Trout for Rizzo and the Cubs wanted to move to Scwharber to first, I'd accept that deal. It's hilarious that Rob cites something as impossible as that as proof that HEY THINGS COULD HAPPEN I'M NOT STUPID.

[PenFoe]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

I was always amused-in a typically sophomoric way--how much Andy would rip on Neyer, dating back to at least 2003, but always felt a little bad for Neyer, who seemed to be a good enough guy and had what seemed at the time to be some good insight.

After seeing Neyer give sincere attribution to Alvin after all these years makes me mad at myself for even feeling remotely conflicted about all the shit Andy use to give him.

He has decent content but his writing is terrible.

Proof:

Great baseball players aren't named Scwharber. Until one is.

Eli done hurt Rob's feelings: http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/just-a-bit-outside/baseball-joe/blog/yes-the-cubs-might-trade-anthony-rizzo-060215

This is really the best life advice anyone has ever given Eli.

I would argue that if you can't imagine such a thing, you should go through some sort of regression therapy and try to reëstablish contact with your youthful imagination. Because right now you're living a barren existence.

Especially because he used an umlaut for...emphasis?

[Yeti]

This Rob Neyer article is making the rounds.

Not sure what the deal is with the awkward exclamation points throughout, but there's some good Schwarberboner stuff, even if he seems to think he's not ready.

Department of Clarifications: As Bleed Cubbie Blue's Al Yellon points out, Anthony Rizzo's signed to a team-friendly long-term contract, and won't be "expensive" for a long, long while. Which doesn't necessarily mean Schwarber can't take over at first base, but that seems possible only if Rizzo suffers some sort of terrible injury or (more likely) Rizzo's traded. Bottom line, it's just hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team, as currently composed.

Department of Never Reading A Thing Rob Neyer Has to Say Ever Again: Al Yellon is correcting his work and getting credited for it.  Al Yellon.  Al.  Yellon.  Time to start rethinking some things about your life and your choices, Rob.

And as much as we all love a good FYSKO, it's really not hard to find a place for Schwarber to play on this team.  At all.  They need offense, and I would not be upset or complain in the least if they promoted him directly from Double-A.  This team is for real now, so let's go for it.

Even dumber is implying there's any reasonable chance Rizzo would ever be traded.

Pretty much everything about that article was bad. Pen lets us all down again.

I was always amused-in a typically sophomoric way--how much Andy would rip on Neyer, dating back to at least 2003, but always felt a little bad for Neyer, who seemed to be a good enough guy and had what seemed at the time to be some good insight.

After seeing Neyer give sincere attribution to Alvin after all these years makes me mad at myself for even feeling remotely conflicted about all the shit Andy use to give him.

He has decent content but his writing is terrible.

Proof:

Great baseball players aren't named Scwharber. Until one is.

Eli done hurt Rob's feelings: http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/just-a-bit-outside/baseball-joe/blog/yes-the-cubs-might-trade-anthony-rizzo-060215

This is really the best life advice anyone has ever given Eli.

I would argue that if you can't imagine such a thing, you should go through some sort of regression therapy and try to reëstablish contact with your youthful imagination. Because right now you're living a barren existence.

Especially because he used an umlaut for...emphasis?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

[Eli]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

[SKO]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

So, so chippy.

[Eli]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

So, so chippy.

More like Dechippio.

[SKO]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

So, so chippy.

More like Dechippio.

It's just amazing a professional writer needed to craft an entire column to reiterate that "hey, it could happen!" as though Eli was literally saying "there's no possible way in all of existence that Anthony Rizzo could be traded" or that even if he had, one lone internet nut saying that is reason enough to write a column in reply.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

So, so chippy.

More like Dechippio.

It's just amazing a professional writer needed to craft an entire column to reiterate that "hey, it could happen!" as though Eli was literally saying "there's no possible way in all of existence that Anthony Rizzo could be traded" or that even if he had, one lone internet nut saying that is reason enough to write a column in reply.

It's really something.  I'm almost embarrassed for him (and proud of Eli, even if he was not being deliberately provocative) for becoming so apparently unhinged at that comment. 

[SKO]

Holy shit no wonder he still quotes Yellon; they're two peas in a pod.  That's hilarious how butthurt Flannel Boy got at what was, by Eli's standards, a rather innocuous comment.

That's what amuses me. I wasn't being snarky or sarcastic or disrespectful. It was a pretty straightforward comment.

Well it doesn't take much for anyone to deduce what a heartless killjoy you are, Eli.

So, so chippy.

More like Dechippio.

It's just amazing a professional writer needed to craft an entire column to reiterate that "hey, it could happen!" as though Eli was literally saying "there's no possible way in all of existence that Anthony Rizzo could be traded" or that even if he had, one lone internet nut saying that is reason enough to write a column in reply.

It's really something.  I'm almost embarrassed for him (and proud of Eli, even if he was not being deliberately provocative) for becoming so apparently unhinged at that comment. 

I think Eli's Cool Detached Internet Persona (a product of his barren existence, natch) leads him to make barely snarky comments that grate on guys like Neyer more than just people screaming at them that they're blithering idiots. DAT GUY TINKS HE SMARTER DAN ME? I SHOW HIM

[Quality Start Machine]

Eli's far better for having trolled.