Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[Canadouche]

I loved his AB in the 9th last night. Hung in there before going the opposite way for a single. Love that he's a power hitter who doesn't try to yank everything to right.

But if the first baseman is holding a guy on, he probably should be trying to yank everything to the subsequent 140-foot wide hole on the right side.

A lot of young power hitters try yanking everything, and pitchers pitch to that. He went with the pitch. Good to see that from a guy with very little MLB experience.

I was kidding.

One never knows with you.

Seeing as how I may have inadvertently started a "Kyle Hendricks is getting traded" rumor on Twitter, I probably should wield my authority more carefully.

Please don't. Watching you sow the seeds of butthurt amongst Cubs' Twitter personalities is one of my favorite things.

It's so great. The CubsDen guy in particular is nearing Al levels of sanctimonious butthurt that someone would dare question him.

Not to spend too much time rehashing things from other websites on this website, but that was a downright weird exchange. I haven't interacted much personally with Arguello, but it's pretty obvious that he likes to think of himself as a very serious grown up adult man.

CT's succinct counterpoint here elicited a good muttley.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

I love this motherfucker and his ass needs to be in the lineup EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!

[ChuckD]

BOOMP

[SKO]

Jesus Christ

[Saul Goodman]

This kid was born to hit baseballs as hard as possible. Let's keep him.

[Slaky]

I saw a Schwarbomb in person so I'm good.

[Quality Start Machine]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

[SKO]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

He kinda reminds me of the other power lefty with great plate discipline that bats behind him in the order, but why ever make a comparison to a player who isn't a hall of famer from 50 years ago, amirite?

[Yeti]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

He kinda reminds me of the other power lefty with great plate discipline that bats behind him in the order, but why ever make a comparison to a player who isn't a hall of famer from 50 years ago, amirite?

Fork is Desipio's Hawk

[Eli]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

This post was generated by a ForkBot, right?

[Quality Start Machine]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

He kinda reminds me of the other power lefty with great plate discipline that bats behind him in the order, but why ever make a comparison to a player who isn't a hall of famer from 50 years ago, amirite?

Rizzo's swing looks almost effortless, and Schwarber's is pure violence.

Forgive me for having a much larger frame of reference to draw from.

[SKO]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

He kinda reminds me of the other power lefty with great plate discipline that bats behind him in the order, but why ever make a comparison to a player who isn't a hall of famer from 50 years ago, amirite?

Rizzo's swing looks almost effortless, and Schwarber's is pure violence.

Forgive me for having a much larger frame of reference to draw from.

Rizzo's swing looks effortless sometimes, other times he literally drops to one knee and tries to yank balls out of the stadium. Sometimes he succeeds at that. Schwarber hits balls really hard, sure, but his swing seems every bit as compact and fluid as Rizzo's. I could pull something out of my butt and say Schwarber looks like a White Barry Bonds but I'm not going to try to pretend I'm a scout to justify my own hyperbole.

I mean, don't get me wrong, "fork compares rookie to hall of famer from his childhood" is a desipio staple I find truly charming, let's just not pretend you do it for any reason other than "I am old"

[Slaky]

This all seems unnecessary.

[SKO]

This all seems unnecessary.

True. Let's talk about how Schwarber in 25 games has managed to already match THE GREATEST CATCHER OF ALL TIME down in St. Louis in fWAR.

[Brownie]

He's like a lefty Harmon Killebrew up there. Fucking beast.

He kinda reminds me of the other power lefty with great plate discipline that bats behind him in the order, but why ever make a comparison to a player who isn't a hall of famer from 50 years ago, amirite?

Rizzo's swing looks almost effortless, and Schwarber's is pure violence.

Forgive me for having a much larger frame of reference to draw from.

Killebrew

Kingman

Kyle

Another left-hander with a violent swing. Why not just compare him?