Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[Brownie]

This was totally readable.

Grant DePorter is a "Cubs historian?" Huh? Huey is goddamn Herodotus, then!

Also, Tom Ricketts' house is on Michigan Ave. in Wilmette. He owns the building(s) directly behind the right field scoreboard.

Herodotus, eh? That would explain the surprising number of rocs and Cyclopes in his tales of Cubdom.

Lots of seemingly one-eyed Cubs players over the years.

[Quality Start Machine]

This was totally readable.

I thought it was a good story horribly written.

[Saul Goodman]

Slump? What slump?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

[morpheus]

Kyle Schwarber, Gold Glove outfielder.  For a moment, at least.

[Quality Start Machine]

The only thing that would make this better would be if Kyle had cracked open an Old Style immediately afterward.

[SKO]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

[Saul Goodman]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

[SKO]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

I don't think our boy Kyle lacks for any confidence regardless, and there's nothing he'll learn in AAA. Heck I've read multiple articles and break downs saying how his K rate is unsustainable cuz his contact rate is basically league average and how his avg exit velocity means he's been unlucky and how the regression to the mean is right around the corner. I'm not "worried", I guess, I'm just really tired of waiting for the awesome. I need it now. Life is better when Kyle Schwarber is destroying things.

[Quality Start Machine]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

And the more potatoes that grow.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

And the more potatoes that grow.

Time to try some corn.  In Iowa.

[Quality Start Machine]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

And the more potatoes that grow.

Time to try some corn.  In Iowa.

I look forward to Kyle destroying the International Space Station during the San Diego series.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

And the more potatoes that grow.

Time to try some corn.  In Iowa.

I look forward to Kyle destroying the International Space Station during the San Diego series.

3  fly outs, a walk and a K. This is going great.

[SKO]

Slump? What slump?

Schwarber's market correction will be a thing to behold.

I'm really ready to behold it. Any time now, Kyle.

Maybe send him to AAA, let him bash a few dingers to get his confidence back, and bring him back up all fixed and ready to mash. Market: corrected.

Patience, young Cub fans.  The longer the drought goes, the sweeter the rain that falls.

And the more potatoes that grow.

Time to try some corn.  In Iowa.

I look forward to Kyle destroying the International Space Station during the San Diego series.

3  fly outs, a walk and a K. This is going great.

Can you tell me what exactly he's going to fix in Iowa? Dude has an almost 14% walk rate, he's not really chasing much. He's been incredibly unlucky (by expected stats his wOBA should be about 40-50 pts higher than it is, he's had some rockets robbed) and his management of the zone has been as good as ever. There's no issue with pitch recognition. He's just flat out missing some hittable pitches in the zone, which tells me that despite the awesomeness of the world series maybe missing an entire year of major league pitching does cause timing issues when you're out there facing major league stuff every day. Either way, its something that is only going to get fixed by seeing major league pitching until he can successfully time it again, going down to Iowa to face kids or old dudes throwing 86 mph junk isn't going to do shit.