Kyle Hendricks Low Velocity Assassin Splooge Thread

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Kyle's gonna Kyle. To the bullpen monster we go.

Not a Machine production, obviously, but I'll take those first 14 outs.

That felt like one of those games where Cutler goes for 300 yards with 2 picks and 2 tds and both sides have a point. He was legitimately great outside of three pitches! ....that all left the yard

I feel like this was the 50th percentile Kyle Hendricks start. Not bad. Not really good, either.

It was definitely interesting. He was in command after the the first batter up to his second-to-last batter.  He retired 14 of 15 batters during that span.  Nice to see him go 3 up, 3 down following both innings in which the Cubs scored.  7 K's and no walks. Pretty damn solid so long as your expectations are adjusted accordingly.

[Slaky]

Kyle's gonna Kyle. To the bullpen monster we go.

Not a Machine production, obviously, but I'll take those first 14 outs.

That felt like one of those games where Cutler goes for 300 yards with 2 picks and 2 tds and both sides have a point. He was legitimately great outside of three pitches! ....that all left the yard

I feel like this was the 50th percentile Kyle Hendricks start. Not bad. Not really good, either.

It was definitely interesting. He was in command after the the first batter up to his second-to-last batter.  He retired 14 of 15 batters during that span.  Nice to see him go 3 up, 3 down following both innings in which the Cubs scored.  7 K's and no walks. Pretty damn solid so long as your expectations are adjusted accordingly.

Three bad pitches. I'd be lying if I said I expected him to pitch better than he actually did.

[Quality Start Machine]

Bump.

[flannj]

Bump.

Not bad.
(actually quite good)

Do we start a Rondon thread?
That was balls.

[Quality Start Machine]

Bump.

Not bad.
(actually quite good)

Do we start a Rondon thread?
That was balls.

Rondon's breaking ball was vanishing.

[Saul Goodman]

Bump.

Not bad.
(actually quite good)

Do we start a Rondon thread?
That was balls.

Two runs every 6.2 IP would be quite acceptable; thank you, Kyle.

[Saul Goodman]

*glares*

[Grandmaster Wang]

Welp. I, for one, blame Median Desipio Chucklehead Quality Start Machine™.

[SKO]

It feels so petty to be annoyed by the 5th starter having a mediocre game on the road against a decent team, because if the Cubs worst problem is that Kyle Hendricks gets hit every third or fourth start, we have very little to be annoyed by.

But, well, I am petty, and I'm annoyed. Dammit, Kyle. I want this sweep.

[InternetApex]

I didn't even bother to follow this game. I am really good with 2 of 3 in that dump.

[SKO]

I didn't even bother to follow this game. I am really good with 2 of 3 in that dump.

I mean I am very content with where the Cubs are, but I wanted to sweep the Cardinals in their stupid fetid little swamp and I am mildly annoyed that it is looking unlikely.

[InternetApex]

I didn't even bother to follow this game. I am really good with 2 of 3 in that dump.

I mean I am very content with where the Cubs are, but I wanted to sweep the Cardinals in their stupid fetid little swamp and I am mildly annoyed that it is looking unlikely.

They'll have a couple more shots at it. And at that point the separation in the standings will mean more than it does now. A sweep would be great for some Facebook Lolz but what are we gonna do, print t-shirts for an April road sweep?

[SKO]

I didn't even bother to follow this game. I am really good with 2 of 3 in that dump.

I mean I am very content with where the Cubs are, but I wanted to sweep the Cardinals in their stupid fetid little swamp and I am mildly annoyed that it is looking unlikely.

They'll have a couple more shots at it. And at that point the separation in the standings will mean more than it does now. A sweep would be great for some Facebook Lolz but what are we gonna do, print t-shirts for an April road sweep?

Well, not now we won't.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

It feels so petty to be annoyed by the 5th starter having a mediocre game on the road against a decent team, because if the Cubs worst problem is that Kyle Hendricks gets hit every third or fourth start, we have very little to be annoyed by.

But, well, I am petty, and I'm annoyed. Dammit, Kyle. I want this sweep.

If we're going to kick and scream over an April loss then I suggest you focus some rage on Tommy LaStella, the pedo-looking mofo who opened the floodgates by letting a well-struck-but-still-playable- ball clank off his glove.  Damnit, son, Hendricks pitches to a good bit of contact as it is, PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION.

[InternetApex]

I didn't even bother to follow this game. I am really good with 2 of 3 in that dump.

I mean I am very content with where the Cubs are, but I wanted to sweep the Cardinals in their stupid fetid little swamp and I am mildly annoyed that it is looking unlikely.

They'll have a couple more shots at it. And at that point the separation in the standings will mean more than it does now. A sweep would be great for some Facebook Lolz but what are we gonna do, print t-shirts for an April road sweep?

Well, not now we won't.

*packs up screen printing materials*

I mean, it's a dumb idea anyway, right?