Kyle Hendricks Low Velocity Assassin Splooge Thread

[PenFoe]

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Watch who you're badmouthing, buddy.

[Bort]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of feces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave things be due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon it but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West is a worthless sack of feces.

The sack of shit let Maddon execute the pitching change after he tossed him.
Also, what rule did Joe West enforce?  is there a rule against a catcher making a mound visit after a home run?

No, but there is a clock on the next pitch.  Bearing in mind how long the infielders had already been at the mound, and all other things being equal, it wasn't a ridiculous call from West.  He knew Joe would fight it, Joe fought it, Chapman got his time, no big deal.  And as I said, had West allowed it, you can be sure he'd have had the Deadbirds dugout letting him know all about it.  It's a three-run game: no-hitter or not, they're looking for any advantage they can get at that point.

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Can someone please add "Tonker loves Joe West" to the meme spreadsheet?

[Tonker]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of feces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave things be due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon it but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West is a worthless sack of feces.

The sack of shit let Maddon execute the pitching change after he tossed him.
Also, what rule did Joe West enforce?  is there a rule against a catcher making a mound visit after a home run?

No, but there is a clock on the next pitch.  Bearing in mind how long the infielders had already been at the mound, and all other things being equal, it wasn't a ridiculous call from West.  He knew Joe would fight it, Joe fought it, Chapman got his time, no big deal.  And as I said, had West allowed it, you can be sure he'd have had the Deadbirds dugout letting him know all about it.  It's a three-run game: no-hitter or not, they're looking for any advantage they can get at that point.

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Can someone please add "Tonker loves Joe West" to the meme spreadsheet?

But I specifically said that I hates me some... ah, fuck it.  Go ahead.

[Quality Start Machine]

So basically Joe knew he needed to buy some time, and since Hendricks took a no-no into the 9th, he knew that Joe West knew every network carrying MLB games cut over and Country Joe wouldn't be able to help himself in front of all those viewers.

Country Joe is a world-class jagoff and Maddon found a way to make it useful.

Works for me.

[Saul Goodman]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

Oh yeah, I wasn't mad that West did it. He had the right. It's like being mad at a cop for giving you a ticket for going 60 miles (or what I believe you call "cubits" or something) in a 55. He's being overly strict but you were still speeding. I just get why Joe was mad, too.

At first I was really confused about what Joe was even arguing. I thought for a second maybe I misremembered the Hazelbaker AB and West had a missed a call or something and Hazelbaker had homered on 1-2 instead of 0-2. I'm just not going to tell the internet not to shit on Joe West, because it led to Kerry Wood shitting on Joe West, and that was worth the price of admission.

To be fair, Americans call it "miles per hour"

"Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth."

All Joe West had to do, instead of trying to pull Montero back when everyone else was already meeting on the mound, was to let him go but break up the meeting quickly. Maddon probably sends out Bosio and no one is talking about Joe West today.

[Wheezer]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of foeces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave the situation alone due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West a worthless sack of foeces.

Old shoutbox meme'd.

I thought about doing that but one of my memes is that I get driven into fits of rage when people bring Shoutbox-borne jokes into the Desipio sphere.

I thought that started here, with Gil's aversion to cat foeaces in his toilet.

[RW]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

Oh yeah, I wasn't mad that West did it. He had the right. It's like being mad at a cop for giving you a ticket for going 60 miles (or what I believe you call "cubits" or something) in a 55. He's being overly strict but you were still speeding. I just get why Joe was mad, too.

At first I was really confused about what Joe was even arguing. I thought for a second maybe I misremembered the Hazelbaker AB and West had a missed a call or something and Hazelbaker had homered on 1-2 instead of 0-2. I'm just not going to tell the internet not to shit on Joe West, because it led to Kerry Wood shitting on Joe West, and that was worth the price of admission.

To be fair, Americans call it "miles per hour"

"Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth."

All Joe West had to do, instead of trying to pull Montero back when everyone else was already meeting on the mound, was to let him go but break up the meeting quickly. Maddon probably sends out Bosio and no one is talking about Joe West today.



Joe West is terrible. We should all be able to agree on that. It would have also been awesome if Fork's dude threw a no-hitter in that toilet.  These are things we can agree upon. 

[morpheus]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of feces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave things be due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon it but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West is a worthless sack of feces.

The sack of shit let Maddon execute the pitching change after he tossed him.
Also, what rule did Joe West enforce?  is there a rule against a catcher making a mound visit after a home run?

No, but there is a clock on the next pitch.  Bearing in mind how long the infielders had already been at the mound, and all other things being equal, it wasn't a ridiculous call from West.  He knew Joe would fight it, Joe fought it, Chapman got his time, no big deal.  And as I said, had West allowed it, you can be sure he'd have had the Deadbirds dugout letting him know all about it.  It's a three-run game: no-hitter or not, they're looking for any advantage they can get at that point.

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Can someone please add "Tonker loves Joe West" to the meme spreadsheet?

For the record, this was taken care of.

[Tonker]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of feces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave things be due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon it but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West is a worthless sack of feces.

The sack of shit let Maddon execute the pitching change after he tossed him.
Also, what rule did Joe West enforce?  is there a rule against a catcher making a mound visit after a home run?

No, but there is a clock on the next pitch.  Bearing in mind how long the infielders had already been at the mound, and all other things being equal, it wasn't a ridiculous call from West.  He knew Joe would fight it, Joe fought it, Chapman got his time, no big deal.  And as I said, had West allowed it, you can be sure he'd have had the Deadbirds dugout letting him know all about it.  It's a three-run game: no-hitter or not, they're looking for any advantage they can get at that point.

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Can someone please add "Tonker loves Joe West" to the meme spreadsheet?

For the record, this was taken care of.

Now all I need is a Joe West shirsey.

[Saul Goodman]

Good to know Joe West is still a fucking piece of shit.

I have very little problem with what West did there.  Maddon was stalling for time, West knew it, he tried to stop it and so Joe had no choice but to get himself into an argument and get tossed.  God knows I hate me some Cowboy Joe, but on this occasion he really was just umpiring the game.

He was within his right as an umpire to do it, but like Joe said, most umpires would have been more understanding of the moment and that for all that is stupid about baseball tradition it's still considered bad luck to warm up the bullpen while a guy has a no hitter going, and they'd have allowed the stupid pointless mound visit to give Chapman a bit longer to warm up. It was a violation of the "unwritten rules" while following the written rules. I don't know that people overreacted so much as we just like dumping heaps of shit on Joe West because he deserves it always.

I just don't see the problem.  West enforced the rules, Maddon argued and got himself ejected to buy time anyway, and West let him do it without getting bent out of shape about it.  Everybody's happy.  You can be sure that, had West allowed extra time, he'd have been hearing it from the Cards' dugout and the BFiB.

While you're right in that West followed the letter of the law, I think the issue that people have--besides our prejudicial notions of Joe West being a worthless sack of feces which clearly fueled our rage-- is that he had no inclination to leave things be due to the uniqueness of the situation, when he would have been perfectly justified in doing so.  Yeti sort of touched upon it but you have a pitcher who just lost a no-hitter in the 9th inning, a reliever who had not warmed up because it's considered bad form to warm up a reliever while a no-hitter is in effect, and the fact that the game at that point was barely two hours old.  It's not like the events of the evening were dragging and West used his authority to speed it up.  No, instead, he picked that time--at the end of a speedy game-- to make a literal interpretation of the rules which of course allowed him to insert himself into the game which is of course one of Joe West's favorite things.  Had he just let it go, it'd have been forgotten but by enforcing a rule at a point where it was needless to do so, he ended up contributing to a delay anyway.  Kudos to him for his Pyrrhic victory.

Also, Joe West is a worthless sack of feces.

The sack of shit let Maddon execute the pitching change after he tossed him.
Also, what rule did Joe West enforce?  is there a rule against a catcher making a mound visit after a home run?

No, but there is a clock on the next pitch.  Bearing in mind how long the infielders had already been at the mound, and all other things being equal, it wasn't a ridiculous call from West.  He knew Joe would fight it, Joe fought it, Chapman got his time, no big deal.  And as I said, had West allowed it, you can be sure he'd have had the Deadbirds dugout letting him know all about it.  It's a three-run game: no-hitter or not, they're looking for any advantage they can get at that point.

EDIT: just to make myself clear, because so far nobody seems to be smelling what I'm cooking... yeah, West was kind of a prick about it, but the reaction on social media was way over the top.  That's it.

Can someone please add "Tonker loves Joe West" to the meme spreadsheet?

For the record, this was taken care of.

Now all I need is a Joe West shirsey.

Hope you wear an XXXXL.

[Brownie]

I am surprised to find out this is the only umpires' shirt you can buy from Majestic. You cannot even get numbers put on it.

[Slaky]

He's not a free agent until 2021? This just seems unfair.

[BC]

Thanks Kyle.

[Tonker]

He's not a free agent until 2021? This just seems unfair.

Hee hee, holy shit... really?  The rest of the National League can suck it.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

He's not a free agent until 2021? This just seems unfair.

Hee hee, holy shit... really?  The rest of the National League can suck it.

The names on this roster with less than 2 years of MLB service time...