Kyle Hendricks Low Velocity Assassin Splooge Thread

[Quality Start Machine]

Having read through this entire thread, it gave me great joy.

We are a bunch of dumbfucks.

[Saul Goodman]

Having read through this entire thread, it gave me great joy.

We are a bunch of dumbfucks.

This should go in the humblebrag thread.

[Quality Start Machine]

Having read through this entire thread, it gave me great joy.

We are a bunch of dumbfucks.

This should go in the humblebrag thread.

We are all SKO.

[Canadouche]

Shades of Mike Bielecki?

[Brownie]

Shades of Mike Bielecki?

Did he crack that the Cubs are flatter than his junior year Prom Date? Then, no.

[Quality Start Machine]

Shades of Mike Bielecki?

Did he crack that the Cubs are flatter than his junior year Prom Date? Then, no.

Still, a start of the quality variety would be just ducky right about now.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Shades of Mike Bielecki?

Did he crack that the Cubs are flatter than his junior year Prom Date? Then, no.

Still, a start of the quality variety would be just ducky right about now.

Sahadev had a graph on his velocity. Low ain't the right adjective.

[Canadouche]

Shades of Mike Bielecki?

Did he crack that the Cubs are flatter than his junior year Prom Date? Then, no.

Still, a start of the quality variety would be just ducky right about now.

Sahadev had a graph on his velocity. Low ain't the right adjective.

I shall call him "Soft Serve."

[Saul Goodman]

I'd like to go back to being wrong about Kyle not being a quality start machine, please.

[Quality Start Machine]

Hopefully tonight is a step back into 2016 Hendricks.

[SKO]

Got some help from the defense but still had 5 K in 5.1 innings and has allowed just 2 runs in his last 3 starts.

[Quality Start Machine]

Got some help from the defense but still had 5 K in 5.1 innings and has allowed just 2 runs in his last 3 starts.

Too bad Carl let in his inherited runners yesterday, or his ERA would have been under 3.

[SKO]

Got some help from the defense but still had 5 K in 5.1 innings and has allowed just 2 runs in his last 3 starts.

Too bad Carl let in his inherited runners yesterday, or his ERA would have been under 3.

I don't even know if I want to pin that on Carl. A pitcher hit an 0-2 fastball that was at his fucking eyes. I don't even know how the fuck that happened.

[R-V]

Got some help from the defense but still had 5 K in 5.1 innings and has allowed just 2 runs in his last 3 starts.

Too bad Carl let in his inherited runners yesterday, or his ERA would have been under 3.

I don't even know if I want to pin that on Carl. A pitcher hit an 0-2 fastball that was at his fucking eyes. I don't even know how the fuck that happened.

Because the Cubbiez are cursed! Seriously though this first 5+ weeks of baseball has reminded me why I hate all sports fans and especially all Cubs fans. People would much rather shit a hole in their underoos over this team's .500 record than listen to a LITERALLY 10 SECOND explanation that every team in baseball goes through a 30 or 40 game stretch of .500 baseball and we need to kind of let this motherfucker play out.

[SKO]

Got some help from the defense but still had 5 K in 5.1 innings and has allowed just 2 runs in his last 3 starts.

Too bad Carl let in his inherited runners yesterday, or his ERA would have been under 3.

I don't even know if I want to pin that on Carl. A pitcher hit an 0-2 fastball that was at his fucking eyes. I don't even know how the fuck that happened.

Because the Cubbiez are cursed! Seriously though this first 5+ weeks of baseball has reminded me why I hate all sports fans and especially all Cubs fans. People would much rather shit a hole in their underoos over this team's .500 record than listen to a LITERALLY 10 SECOND explanation that every team in baseball goes through a 30 or 40 game stretch of .500 baseball and we need to kind of let this motherfucker play out.

There are a few legit concerns: if Hendricks and Arrieta can't get their velocities back up just how good can they be? Did we may overestimate just how awesome Schwarber would be in what is essentially still an extended rookie year? What about Willson?

But the rest is noise, literally every team in baseball will have a .500 over 30+ games stretch. The Cubs went 28-29 between May 11th and July 10th last year.

This team isn't going to be as good as they were last year, there's just no fucking way, because that team was arguably the best team since the 1998 Yankees, who were maybe the best team ever. You don't do that two years in a row, even the 1999 Yankees dropped by 16 games (and still won the title).

I think they're last year's Dodgers, they'll putter around for a bit, make some deadline additions, win the division with 90-95 wins and go as far in the postseason as their best two pitchers can carry them, whether that's Lester and a rejuvenated Kyle/Jake or Lester and Cueto/Darvish.