The QB of the Steelers is a rapist

[CubFaninHydePark]

I heard on the sports show that Big Ben wasn't an elite rapist. I differ in opinion with the sports guy who said that. Big Ben's a good QB, a great person, and an even greater rapist. Big Ben's the elitist rapist.

The way you cape up for him is a marvel to watch. For every two spectacular rapes, this guy has committed at least two god fucking awful rapes. Why they double-downed on this guy when a once in a generation rapist like Jameis Winston is about to become available is beyond the realm of comprehension.

Well played.

[SKO]

I heard on the sports show that Big Ben wasn't an elite rapist. I differ in opinion with the sports guy who said that. Big Ben's a good QB, a great person, and an even greater rapist. Big Ben's the elitist rapist.

Yeah, his career Rape+ is only 103.

If he was the elitist rapist, he'd be in the 120 area, most likely.

Of all of the rape stats you could use you use career Rape+, which is the dumbest stat. It weighs too heavily just on the sheer number of incidents. A guy like Alex Smith can post a great Rape+ for a simple Bartles and James fueled 19 year old-on-high-school-junior statutory and have it count the same as Ben's black-bag-and-chain-to-a-radiator maneuver, which we can agree is far more elite. This is why I use ABR/A, or Adjusted Brutality Rate over Average. Really shows you the actual quality of the rape they're putting forth on a week to week basis.

[ChuckD]

I heard on the sports show that Big Ben wasn't an elite rapist. I differ in opinion with the sports guy who said that. Big Ben's a good QB, a great person, and an even greater rapist. Big Ben's the elitist rapist.

Yeah, his career Rape+ is only 103.

If he was the elitist rapist, he'd be in the 120 area, most likely.

Of all of the rape stats you could use you use career Rape+, which is the dumbest stat. It weighs too heavily just on the sheer number of incidents. A guy like Alex Smith can post a great Rape+ for a simple Bartles and James fueled 19 year old-on-high-school-junior statutory and have it count the same as Ben's black-bag-and-chain-to-a-radiator maneuver, which we can agree is far more elite. This is why I use ABR/A, or Adjusted Brutality Rate over Average. Really shows you the actual quality of the rape they're putting forth on a week to week basis.

Basically Steeler fans have lived in horrible jealousy of the Ravens who have benefitted from one Hall of Fame murderer, an All-Pro who got caught selling 5 kgs of coke, and now an All-Pro wife-beater for the past 15 years, now those are fine felonies and all, and there's only a handful of guys who can commit violent dehumanizing crimes 12+ weeks a year -- I'll let TJ run the numbers from previous drafts, but my point is that while Big Ben may lay his share of disappointing misdemeanors like public indecency or sexual harassment charges from time to time, he can just as easily go on a serial raping spree, so why tank every year on the off chance of maybe finding one of those transcendent rapists and risk ending up with a Peyton Manning, rather than try to build a solid roster around Large Ben and hope to ride a serial raping spree to a title run, knowing full well the odds are more in favor of another "lewd and lascivious behavior" dickpunch.

TL, DR: Shoehorned rape references in to run-on SKO-ntences

[SKO]

I heard on the sports show that Big Ben wasn't an elite rapist. I differ in opinion with the sports guy who said that. Big Ben's a good QB, a great person, and an even greater rapist. Big Ben's the elitist rapist.

Yeah, his career Rape+ is only 103.

If he was the elitist rapist, he'd be in the 120 area, most likely.

Of all of the rape stats you could use you use career Rape+, which is the dumbest stat. It weighs too heavily just on the sheer number of incidents. A guy like Alex Smith can post a great Rape+ for a simple Bartles and James fueled 19 year old-on-high-school-junior statutory and have it count the same as Ben's black-bag-and-chain-to-a-radiator maneuver, which we can agree is far more elite. This is why I use ABR/A, or Adjusted Brutality Rate over Average. Really shows you the actual quality of the rape they're putting forth on a week to week basis.

Basically Steeler fans have lived in horrible jealousy of the Ravens who have benefitted from one Hall of Fame murderer, an All-Pro who got caught selling 5 kgs of coke, and now an All-Pro wife-beater for the past 15 years, now those are fine felonies and all, and there's only a handful of guys who can commit violent dehumanizing crimes 12+ weeks a year -- I'll let TJ run the numbers from previous drafts, but my point is that while Big Ben may lay his share of disappointing misdemeanors like public indecency or sexual harassment charges from time to time, he can just as easily go on a serial raping spree, so why tank every year on the off chance of maybe finding one of those transcendent rapists and risk ending up with a Peyton Manning, rather than try to build a solid roster around Large Ben and hope to ride a serial raping spree to a title run, knowing full well the odds are more in favor of another "lewd and lascivious behavior" dickpunch.

TL, DR: Shoehorned rape references in to run-on SKO-ntences

[PenFoe]

Fuck it's silent in here.

[Eli]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

[Quality Start Machine]

Fuck it's silent in here.

Quiet as one of the Steelers' QB's victims?

[SKO]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

I'd say his ability to force balls past considerable resistance would be of great benefit to him as a quarterback, actually.

[CBStew]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

I'd say his ability to force balls past considerable resistance would be of great benefit to him as a quarterback, actually.

boo

[ChuckD]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

I'd say his ability to force balls past considerable resistance would be of great benefit to him as a quarterback, actually.

I'm thinking either you lack an understanding of sexual mechanics or I lack an understanding of what's involved in raping someone.

[SKO]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

I'd say his ability to force balls past considerable resistance would be of great benefit to him as a quarterback, actually.

I'm thinking either you lack an understanding of sexual mechanics or I lack an understanding of what's involved in raping someone.

A little from column A, and a little from column B

[ChuckD]

Fuck it's silent in here.

The title of the thread isn't "The QB of the Steelers is bad."

I'd say his ability to force balls past considerable resistance would be of great benefit to him as a quarterback, actually.

I'm thinking either you lack an understanding of sexual mechanics or I lack an understanding of what's involved in raping someone.

A little from column A, and a little from column B

Back in high school, I worked with a guy -- kind of a bumpkin and not all there upstairs. He was trying to convince me and a coworker that he had a lot of game with the ladies at his high school. I'm basically quoting verbatim:

"I was just nailin' this hot chick last weekend. Yeah, it was freaking sweet, but my balls got really cramped inside the condom."

I figured it was just two people having consensual bumpkin sex, but maybe it was rape.

[Slaky]

Damn, I'm glad Ben is back to playing good football. If anyone deserves to succeed it's him. Great story for everyone. Happy for you, Pen.

[Saul Goodman]

Damn, I'm glad Ben is back to playing good football. If anyone deserves to succeed it's him. Great story for everyone. Happy for you, Pen.

And after he's been through so much.  I mean he's really had to overcome a lot.  Football coaches like to talk about handling adversity, and Big Ben has had more than his fair share of that.  I don't throw the word hero around too often, but I can confidently say Ben Roethlisberger is the greatest hero in American history.

[PenFoe]

Damn, I'm glad Ben is back to playing good football. If anyone deserves to succeed it's him. Great story for everyone. Happy for you, Pen.

To be fair, he never really stopped playing good football.