Cubs Offseason 2014: So, what did your team do this offseason? Isn't that cute.

[Tonker]

Bleacher Report predicts Opening Day rosters for all teams.

Link directly to the Cubs.

No huge surprises. Bryant not on the Opening Day roster, as widely discussed.
Also no Welington Castillo, with the assumption that he'll still get traded. 

Baez is predicted to make the Opening Day roster here.

Bleacher Report is what would happen if Yellon knew how to make slideshows.

Their NBA coverage is quite adequate.

They've actually added a lot of good writers recently. Just hard to know going in if you're getting one of them or a slideshow on the ten most elitest QBs evar.

My New Year's resolution is to ignore the Internet's insistence that I click on its list of "The 10 Best" anything.  Even if it is "The Ten Best Nude Scenes in Movies Since Day One."

Intrepid Reader Stew: Damn it, where's Hedy Lamarr? She sure got ol' Will Hays' dander up, wearing nothing but an onion on her belt, which was the style at the time.

As a kid, I fucking loved Will Hay movies.  True story.

[Bort]

Bleacher Report predicts Opening Day rosters for all teams.

Link directly to the Cubs.

No huge surprises. Bryant not on the Opening Day roster, as widely discussed.
Also no Welington Castillo, with the assumption that he'll still get traded. 

Baez is predicted to make the Opening Day roster here.

Bleacher Report is what would happen if Yellon knew how to make slideshows.

Their NBA coverage is quite adequate.

They've actually added a lot of good writers recently. Just hard to know going in if you're getting one of them or a slideshow on the ten most elitest QBs evar.

My New Year's resolution is to ignore the Internet's insistence that I click on its list of "The 10 Best" anything.  Even if it is "The Ten Best Nude Scenes in Movies Since Day One."

Intrepid Reader Stew: Damn it, where's Hedy Lamarr? She sure got ol' Will Hays' dander up, wearing nothing but an onion on her belt, which was the style at the time.

As a kid, I fucking loved Will Hay movies.  True story.

And a Google search confirmed that there was an actor named Will Hay, and Tonker wasn't making a willfully odd post about Willian Harrison Hays, and his Code.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Maybe. But I don't think the Cubs would let it be a bargain.  Short but expensive (say 3 x $20mm), they'd allow, but cheap? They've got the money to compete for him.

[Saul Goodman]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Maybe. But I don't think the Cubs would let it be a bargain.  Short but expensive (say 3 x $20mm), they'd allow, but cheap? They've got the money to compete for him.

Gotta keep rotation spots open for David Price and Cole Hamels, so how would James feel about pitching out of the bullpen?

[CBStew]

Bleacher Report predicts Opening Day rosters for all teams.

Link directly to the Cubs.

No huge surprises. Bryant not on the Opening Day roster, as widely discussed.
Also no Welington Castillo, with the assumption that he'll still get traded. 

Baez is predicted to make the Opening Day roster here.

Bleacher Report is what would happen if Yellon knew how to make slideshows.

Their NBA coverage is quite adequate.

They've actually added a lot of good writers recently. Just hard to know going in if you're getting one of them or a slideshow on the ten most elitest QBs evar.

My New Year's resolution is to ignore the Internet's insistence that I click on its list of "The 10 Best" anything.  Even if it is "The Ten Best Nude Scenes in Movies Since Day One."

Intrepid Reader Stew: Damn it, where's Hedy Lamarr? She sure got ol' Will Hays' dander up, wearing nothing but an onion on her belt, which was the style at the time.

As a kid, I fucking loved Will Hay movies.  True story.

And a Google search confirmed that there was an actor named Will Hay, and Tonker wasn't making a willfully odd post about Willian Harrison Hays, and his Code.

...and his movies weren't 'alf bad.

[Tonker]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

[Tonker]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Suuurrrrrrrre you do.

[Richard Chuggar]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

[Bort]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

[PenFoe]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Maybe. But I don't think the Cubs would let it be a bargain.  Short but expensive (say 3 x $20mm), they'd allow, but cheap? They've got the money to compete for him.

Phil agrees with you about the money.

And look, he also wants to trade Castro.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Maybe. But I don't think the Cubs would let it be a bargain.  Short but expensive (say 3 x $20mm), they'd allow, but cheap? They've got the money to compete for him.

Phil agrees with you about the money.

And look, he also wants to trade Castro.

As we know, Phil has a long history of blatantly getting nebulous things like "facts" and "names" wrong (hi Pablo Escobar!)....but it's doubly hilarious here because he confused Castillo with Castro.  What a ridiculous excuse for a baseball writer.