Cubs Offseason 2014: So, what did your team do this offseason? Isn't that cute.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

[BH]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

[PenFoe]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

Didn't know that and a dorm room were the only 2 options.

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

Didn't know that and a dorm room were the only 2 options.

Thanks a lot, Obama.

[PenFoe]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

Didn't know that and a dorm room were the only 2 options.

Thanks a lot, Obama.

The kid is going to be fantastic at video games and beer pong. 

[SKO]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

Didn't know that and a dorm room were the only 2 options.

But seriously we get a three bedroom place with two garages and don't pay a damn thing for it so if we can do this for a couple of years we can save up enough to actually buy a house and paydown enough of our student loans that we're not fucked with debt for all eternity. If that means I yell at a bunch of no good college kids every weekend, so be it.

[InternetApex]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

This sounds like a really awesome environment to bring a baby into. 

We can't all raise kids on organic diets in a solar powered eco-friendly hut in Arizona.

Didn't know that and a dorm room were the only 2 options.

But seriously we get a three bedroom place with two garages and don't pay a damn thing for it so if we can do this for a couple of years we can save up enough to actually buy a house and paydown enough of our student loans that we're not fucked with debt for all eternity. If that means I yell at a bunch of no good college kids every weekend, so be it.

At your age, fuck it, why not. At my age, I would jump out of the window.

[Saul Goodman]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates who at least stopped constantly talking about Jay Cutler. And I'm happy with that.

[flannj]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

You call that cantankerous? Listen son, until you escalate the situation to the point that the cops are being called on YOU then you're not cantanking hard enough.

Goddamn rookies.

[CBStew]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

You call that cantankerous? Listen son, until you escalate the situation to the point that the cops are being called on YOU then you're not cantanking hard enough.

Goddamn rookies.

..."and get off my lawn!"

[thehawk]

I had the same feeling with Scherzer and it turned out to be unfounded, so I'll verbalize it here so that it also does not come to pass:

Every day James Shields doesn't sign I fear he ends up in St. Louis on a bargain contract.

Keeping quiet about Scherzer worked perfectly, so you decide you're going to change tack for Shields?  Nice work, Jinx Boy.  When he signs for the Tards, it's on you.

I told several people I thought Scherzer would sign with the Cardinals. Just not on this messageboard. I have human friends, too, you know.

Your RA isn't your friend

Intrepid Reader: Aaron Heilman

Just try saying that to your RA.

My RA is my wife. Well, she's the boss of the RAs.

So you can sneak beer into your dorm? Awesome.

Not sure who is actually familiar with my non-meme living arrangements, but the wife is the area coordinator for  her alma mater now, so we live in an apartment on the top floor of a student apartment complex (rent free, natch). The other night I heard some scuffling from three floors down, which woke up the (nigh six months pregnant and battling the flu at the time) wife, so in my ANGER I stormed downstairs wearing my pajama pants and an old Derrek Lee shirsey. I find a bunch of kids with open bottles and cans everywhere having a wrestling match in the lobby. They tell me "go to bed old man!"

So naturally I played the "MY WIFE IS THE AC AND YOU ARE ALL IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE"  card and laughed as they scattered while security and the cops showed up to ticket them. Then I went back and had a glass of legal booze, like the adult I am.

This story has no point other than I thought y'all might find it amusing and a worthy addition to my list of memes.

That you are a snitch?

Damn right. And I've slept like a baby every night since.

Actually I didn't snitch. I had every intention to but apparently someone else had already informed security and they had already called the cops. But they sure think I did so now I'm just the cantankerous old asshole everyone hates. And I'm happy with that.

You call that cantankerous? Listen son, until you escalate the situation to the point that the cops are being called on YOU then you're not cantanking hard enough.

Goddamn rookies.

..."and get off my lawn!"

rabble rabble