National Tonkoon's Vacation

[Quality Start Machine]

FLIGHTS ARE BOOKED.  THIS IS HAPPENING, MY FRENTS.

We arrive on Monday 13th July and fly back on Tuesday 18th August.  Five full weeks in the ISA!

We still don't have any accommodation booked and will likely be booking from week to week as we're doing at least two road trips and maybe more.  So, if anybody needs their house sitting while they're away this summer, or knows of somebody who does, look no further.  The flights have cost us getting on for €4k and we're getting raped on the exchange rate, so every penny we now have to spend on accommodation will be a penny we can't spend on glorious Midwestern food.  Will nobody think of the BBBQ?

Also, if you'd all like to bear us in mind for your social calendar, that would be fantastic.  We will turn down (almost) no invitation and will happily pay our way, be it local events, Cubs games, dinner or drinks.  I know I'm a cunt, but STonk and the kids are really nice.

Since Morph has given up social media for Lent, this seems like the perfect time to plan a party at his place.

[Tonker]

Just because I like to plan shit up front, I have a couple of questions about the two road trips we're thinking of doing: one to Nashville and one to Colorado (assuming for a moment that Oleg is still there at the end of July).

I'm expecting to split the CO trip into two days' travelling, and on the way out we'll probably overnight in KC: Eli has promised to show us some BBBQ there.  On the way back, though, it might be nice to go another way.  Is the route via Omaha/Des Moines flat and boring the whole way?  Or is there something worth seeing en route?  Where would be good to overnight?

Secondly: Tennessee.  This, we can definitely do in a day on the Interstate, I reckon: but I'm open to taking it slower if it's worth it.  Is there anything to see, or is the area around the IL/IN border something that needs to be going by in a blur?

Can anybody recommend a good hire car company, by the way?

[SKO]

Just because I like to plan shit up front, I have a couple of questions about the two road trips we're thinking of doing: one to Nashville and one to Colorado (assuming for a moment that Oleg is still there at the end of July).

I'm expecting to split the CO trip into two days' travelling, and on the way out we'll probably overnight in KC: Eli has promised to show us some BBBQ there.  On the way back, though, it might be nice to go another way.  Is the route via Omaha/Des Moines flat and boring the whole way?   Or is there something worth seeing en route?  Where would be good to overnight?

Secondly: Tennessee.  This, we can definitely do in a day on the Interstate, I reckon: but I'm open to taking it slower if it's worth it.  Is there anything to see, or is the area around the IL/IN border something that needs to be going by in a blur?

Can anybody recommend a good hire car company, by the way?

Yes. But I'd definitely meet y'all in Des Moines for a nice Zombie Burger or something.

[Quality Start Machine]

Just because I like to plan shit up front, I have a couple of questions about the two road trips we're thinking of doing: one to Nashville and one to Colorado (assuming for a moment that Oleg is still there at the end of July).

I'm expecting to split the CO trip into two days' travelling, and on the way out we'll probably overnight in KC: Eli has promised to show us some BBBQ there.  On the way back, though, it might be nice to go another way.  Is the route via Omaha/Des Moines flat and boring the whole way?  Or is there something worth seeing en route?  Where would be good to overnight?

Secondly: Tennessee.  This, we can definitely do in a day on the Interstate, I reckon: but I'm open to taking it slower if it's worth it.  Is there anything to see, or is the area around the IL/IN border something that needs to be going by in a blur?

Can anybody recommend a good hire car company, by the way?

If you don't mind going a little out of the way, New Salem/Dixon Mounds/Springfield would expose the Tonklets to some cool Americana, at least lots of Lincoln stuff.

[PenFoe]

Des Moines? Omaha? The IL/IN Border??

Y'all need to stop acting like there's shit to see in the Midwest. 

Just get straight to your destinations as fast as possible, Tonk. 

As for rental car companies, they're basically all the same assuming you don't have a rewards system you're using.
I'd just go to Hotwire.com and shop by price.

[Yeti]

Yea, there ain't shit to see from Chicago to Nashville. Get to Nashville and then drink to your heart's content

[Quality Start Machine]

Yea, there ain't shit to see from Chicago to Nashville. Get to Nashville and then drink to your heart's content

Walk into a country bar, request Ray Price. Hear country rap instead.

[ChuckD]

Y'all need to stop acting like there's shit to see in the Midwest.  

Just get straight to your destinations as fast as possible, Tonk.  

I'd basically agree with this, but Chicago to Denver is 14 hours. He'll need to stop somewhere. With that in mind:

Assuming you start driving at 8am...

Between Chicago and Iowa City, you can see the "World's Biggest Truckstop". That's basically all there is aside from tollbooths. Get some gas and you'll be in Iowa City by 12:00.

Iowa City's got some good restaurants for lunch downtown. Atlas is good -- there's a buffalo chicken burrito that I've seriously considered driving 2-3 hours for on a few occasions. Short's is good for burgers/beer. There's probably other stuff that's opened since I last lived there, but those two stick out and are still open.

Iowa City to Omaha is another 3.5 hours or so.

Between Des Moines and Omaha, it's basically just pasture/corn/soybeans with a lot of casino billboards and signs on barns that say once Jesus comes back we're all going to burn in hell for killing babies. If you miss the turn off I-80 that leads to Omaha, I guess there's this scenic reststop that I used to stop at when driving back from college and smoke a spliff.

Stay in Omaha. Try to stay out of North Omaha. You won't get stabbed or anything, but it's kind of rough. Old Market district has shops/restaurants/white people.

Either on your way to Denver or on the way back, (and assuming your kid likes animals), budget a few hours to stop at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. It's one of the coolest memories I have from when I was a kid. That's basically the only thing to see. Unless, you like old arcade games/skeeball/pinball and craft beer -- then Beercade is pretty sweet. Beercade is a good reason to go to North Omaha.

Then you've got 7-8 hours to get from Omaha to Denver and much of that's through Nebraska. Nebraska sucks.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

When doing the Chicago–Denver drive alone (I-80 through Iowa and Nebraska), I would do it in a single shot. But we're talking like 15 hours including gas/piss stops—less if really hauling ass—and I'd imagine that's not practical for you.

When I'd do the drive with my mom, we'd break it into two days and spend a night in Kearney, NE (westbound) or as far east in Iowa as we could manage (eastbound). These waypoints determined more by time/distance than by the places being in any way worth visiting. Short of making a side trip to the BIG HAUS AMERICAN MUSCLE DOJO, there's nothing awaiting you in between but a bunch of fat white people and The World's Largest Truck Stop, which has a Wendy's.

[Tonker]

That's what I need, boys.  Lovely job.

[flannj]

That's what I need, boys.  Lovely job.

Wherever you rent your car from get an IPASS transponder. Most rental companies have them available and it will save you money, time and frustration driving on the Illinois toll system.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Omaha has some great places for steak, too. And the jewelry store, Borsheims, is world famous.  Can't agree enough about Henry Doorly.  I used to go there every summer (Mom's from Omaha).

If you skip hitting Whitey's Ice Cream in Iowa (they are in the Quad Cities and in Iowa City), you fail at life. 

They used to offer tours of Strategic Air Command at Offutt Air Force Base just outside of Omaha.  They had some Titan missiles you could walk around and touch.  Pretty much everything west of Lincoln and east of Denver is flat nothing.  I think there was an outlet mall in North Platte.

[SKO]

There's a Whitey's Ice Cream in the Coralville Mall just off of I-80 right after Iowa City. Chuck is actually not wrong on this.

[ChuckD]

There's a Whitey's Ice Cream in the Coralville Mall just off of I-80 right after Iowa City. Chuck is actually not wrong on this.

Whitey's is good, but there's nothing else in Coralville in terms of sites or food. Why stop out there when there's a Whitey's in downtown IC?

[Brownie]

Just because I like to plan shit up front, I have a couple of questions about the two road trips we're thinking of doing: one to Nashville and one to Colorado (assuming for a moment that Oleg is still there at the end of July).

I'm expecting to split the CO trip into two days' travelling, and on the way out we'll probably overnight in KC: Eli has promised to show us some BBBQ there.  On the way back, though, it might be nice to go another way.  Is the route via Omaha/Des Moines flat and boring the whole way?  Or is there something worth seeing en route?  Where would be good to overnight?

Secondly: Tennessee.  This, we can definitely do in a day on the Interstate, I reckon: but I'm open to taking it slower if it's worth it.  Is there anything to see, or is the area around the IL/IN border something that needs to be going by in a blur?

Can anybody recommend a good hire car company, by the way?

Go down to Nashville via I-55 (which is kind of out of the way) so you can do Springfield, as Fork suggests. New Salem, the Abraham Lincoln home and the Abe Lincoln museum are all relatively inexpensive and Lincoln is kind of a big deal here in Illinois. From Springfield, zip across I-72 to Decatur, do not breathe through your nostrils, and go south on 57 to I-24, which will take you into Nashville.

Head back via I-65. You will be close to Mammoth Cave, the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, Churchill Downs, the Louisville Slugger Factory, architecturally significant Buttpuddle (Apex tour book not included), Indianapolis (the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, a top notch Children's Museum), and a boring but not so bad three hours back to downtown Chicago via the smokestacks, steel mills, corn processing plants and oil refineries of GaryHammondEastChicagoWhiting. If you go east a ways from 65 on 94, you can also see the Indiana Dunes and the Michigan Shoreline. Nice beaches, plus the culturally insignificant burg of Hobart on the way. You could also continue further east on the Indiana Toll Road to South Bend and Notre Dame if that sort of thing appeals to you, but really that's way out of the way for little payback.

Another thought would be to detour yourself through Cinicnnati on the way there or back, especially because the Reds will host the Cubs July 20-22 at the Great American Ballpark. Across the river from Cincinnati is Covington, which has a modest "Germantown" if anyone into your family is into that sort of thing. It's been years (Riverfront Stadium was visible across the river; Paul Brown Stadium and the GABP were not) but I had a good meal at a restaurant there once.  From Cincy, it's about 2 hours to Indy, and another 3 to Chicago.

Speaking of trips out of town to see the Cubs, they are in Milwaukee 7/30 through 8/2.