National Tonkoon's Vacation

[SKO]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Yeah. As someone who has driven all of the way from Davenport, IA to Minot, ND or from Cedar Falls, IA to the Black Hills of South Dakota there's rarely anything in Iowa/Nebraska/Minnesota actually worth seeing, but I can't imagine kids sitting tightly while you try and plow through 15 hour stretches of nothing without stopping for the few mediocre life rafts you might find.

Also I don't know what your plan for entertaining kids in said car is but if it relies on wi-fi or 3G/4G data at all I'd come up with something not reliant on picking up a signal.

[Tonker]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

[SKO]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

[Bort]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

[PenFoe]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

But I'm useless.

[Eli]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

But I'm useless.

Tonk is primarily looking for advice on what to do in the Midwest. Your advice has been "the Midwest sucks." That doesn't seem particularly helpful to me.

[PenFoe]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

But I'm useless.

Tonk is primarily looking for advice on what to do in the Midwest. Your advice has been "the Midwest sucks." That doesn't seem particularly helpful to me.

His question was "should I stop at any of these places?" not "which one of these places is worth stopping at?"

[Quality Start Machine]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

In that case, we're going for breaded steak sandwiches and not taking CT.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

Euphemism for "squeal like a pig"?

(NSFW)

[SKO]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

Euphemism for "squeal like a pig"?

(NSFW)

None of it is a euphemism. My dad just has a really nice 28 foot long pontoon boat and spends the summer getting extremely wasted and cruising it up and down the Mississippi. It's a great deal of 'Merica style fun, if that's what you're after.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

Euphemism for "squeal like a pig"?

(NSFW)

None of it is a euphemism. My dad just has a really nice 28 foot long pontoon boat and spends the summer getting extremely wasted and cruising it up and down the Mississippi. It's a great deal of 'Merica style fun, if that's what you're after.

Tonk--be sure to read "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" on your flight over, which will prepare you when you take your family onto SKO's drunken dad's pontoon boat on the Mighty Mississippi.

[Tonker]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

Euphemism for "squeal like a pig"?

(NSFW)

None of it is a euphemism. My dad just has a really nice 28 foot long pontoon boat and spends the summer getting extremely wasted and cruising it up and down the Mississippi. It's a great deal of 'Merica style fun, if that's what you're after.

Tonk--be sure to read "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" on your flight over, which will prepare you when you take your family onto SKO's drunken dad's pontoon boat on the Mighty Mississippi.

All joking aside, it does actually sound like fung, mang.

By the way, does anybody have any fences they need whitewashing?

[Oleg]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

I'd make the drive the drive east for this.  Fucking seriously.

I'll even paint a chicken coup for the privilege.

[Saul Goodman]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

I'd make the drive the drive east for this.  Fucking seriously.

I'll even paint a chicken coup for the privilege.

I for one welcome our new chicken overlords.

[thehawk]

Far be it from me to agree with TDubbs, but...

i mean seriously, tonk is coming over from europe. he doesn't need to stop in iowa or southern illinois with his family to see a fucking ice cream shop

Hey no one said he had to do anything. I certainly wouldn't recommend Iowa as a tourist destination for anyone. But if he's driving 80 and needs to stop in the state of Iowa for food, there are places more delicious than others.

As a veteran of the stretch of 80 that runs from Chicago to its easternmost point, I can attest to the value of finding something other than Cracker Barrel for a quick bite to eat.

Yeah, I think we're all just giving tips on how to best manage the relative boringness that stretches between actual cities in the Midwest*. None of us assume Tonk's going to come back from the trip thinking Coralville is a more fair city than London. But there's plenty of Americana to be seen and (to me, in my dumb/earnest opinion) that's very much a part of what America actually is.

* Also, I'm sure Tonk has a good idea of the sheer enormity of America, but he may not fully grasp it until he's actually road tripping. The Chicago-Denver drive is roughly the same length as driving Den Haag to Rome, and that only covers a little over 1/3 of the U.S.

Eli's about nailed it, here.  I've never been to Navy Pier, or up the Hancock, or Lincoln Park Zoo - or even the Bundy fountain - because basically, I'm not interested in seeing sights.  Much of my time in Chicago is spent trawling from one burger bar to the next, or watching baseball in bars, or drinking with you lot, and that's no accident.  One of the best things I ever did in my life was to go to Mike's family's golf tournament and then back to his Uncle's house for a cook-out.  Everybody else there had a really good time, but I was in heaven: it was a little slice of actual American life and I loved the fucking shit out of it.

It's the reason I have spent half my life outside the UK and it's the reason I'm coming to the States with my family this summer: I'm interested in contemporary culture, and contemporary people, and contemporary food and drink, and having a great fucking contemporary time.  I'm sure there are plenty of little slices of American life to be found in Iowa, and Southern Illinois, and even Indiana (okay, maybe not Indiana).  That golf thing was in DeKalb, for fuck sake, and the funny thing is, you're just as likely to find these little pockets of authenticity when you're not looking for them, and certainly way more likely to find them away from tourist hot-spots or "interesting" things to see.

I have no idea where I'm going with this.  In summary, then... erm...  'Murica?

Well if that's the case I'm sure I could convince Pa to fire up the pontoon boat and take you cruising the Mississippi.

God I hope none of that post is a euphemism.

Euphemism for "squeal like a pig"?

(NSFW)

Can't help you about the Midwest (although I have seen Butter Cow at the Iowa state fair and say that is worth it if you were around), but can help with Chicago.  All you folks need to come to my place, we have a 10 year old, a play room a dog, a grill for proper sausage cooking (RIP Hot Dougs) and a 4 block walk to Wrigley

Also a tip about car rental-- the chains get a bit problematic if you rent for more than 28 days, so you may want to plan around that (you probably don't want a car when you are in Chicago anyway).  National is my preferred brand (you can pick out your own car), but any of the majors will do.