2015 NFL Thread: Burn It All Down

[Oleg]

In Chicago, the Bears are coming off a dreadful 5-11 season and we are, today, perhaps at the furthest point away from both last season and next.  

Meanwhile, both baseball teams are in the midst of Spring Training, with legit hopes of playing meaningful August games, the Bulls are headed to the playoffs and the Blackhawks are in the midst of a decade-long once-in-a-generation run, treating their fans to an embarrassment of sustained quality reminiscent of the late 90's Bulls (and already having exceeded the 1980 Bears who, in retrospect, merely stomped on short-bus divisional foes and other talent-challenged teams before getting pansted at home in the playoff nearly every year).

Now I know that baseball hasn't really started, the Bulls are not legitmate title contenders and that hockey gets short shrift in this town by default, but the fact that NFL FREE AGENT SIGNING WEEEK (AND WILL JAY STAY OR GO?) seems to have been dominating local sports radio since Monday is making me hate football more and more.  Fucking obnoxious.  Hosts and callers.  Fucking idiots.  Sorry if this should've been in the Totally Unlistenable thread.

Just when I was starting to miss Chicago...

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

In Chicago, the Bears are coming off a dreadful 5-11 season and we are, today, perhaps at the furthest point away from both last season and next.  

Meanwhile, both baseball teams are in the midst of Spring Training, with legit hopes of playing meaningful August games, the Bulls are headed to the playoffs and the Blackhawks are in the midst of a decade-long once-in-a-generation run, treating their fans to an embarrassment of sustained quality reminiscent of the late 90's Bulls (and already having exceeded the 1980 Bears who, in retrospect, merely stomped on short-bus divisional foes and other talent-challenged teams before getting pansted at home in the playoff nearly every year).

Now I know that baseball hasn't really started, the Bulls are not legitmate title contenders and that hockey gets short shrift in this town by default, but the fact that NFL FREE AGENT SIGNING WEEEK (AND WILL JAY STAY OR GO?) seems to have been dominating local sports radio since Monday is making me hate football more and more.  Fucking obnoxious.  Hosts and callers.  Fucking idiots.  Sorry if this should've been in the Totally Unlistenable thread.

You can post this anywhere you want. Just get your palms ready for a sweaty high five from yours truly.

Thanks, except the 1980 Bears were pretty awful.  

Ahem.  

*The nineteen eighties Bears (more specifically, mid-to-late 80's).  And really the Bulls run was the entire 90's, not just the latter half.

/annotated

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

In Chicago, the Bears are coming off a dreadful 5-11 season and we are, today, perhaps at the furthest point away from both last season and next.  

Meanwhile, both baseball teams are in the midst of Spring Training, with legit hopes of playing meaningful August games, the Bulls are headed to the playoffs and the Blackhawks are in the midst of a decade-long once-in-a-generation run, treating their fans to an embarrassment of sustained quality reminiscent of the late 90's Bulls (and already having exceeded the 1980 Bears who, in retrospect, merely stomped on short-bus divisional foes and other talent-challenged teams before getting pansted at home in the playoff nearly every year).

Now I know that baseball hasn't really started, the Bulls are not legitmate title contenders and that hockey gets short shrift in this town by default, but the fact that NFL FREE AGENT SIGNING WEEEK (AND WILL JAY STAY OR GO?) seems to have been dominating local sports radio since Monday is making me hate football more and more.  Fucking obnoxious.  Hosts and callers.  Fucking idiots.  Sorry if this should've been in the Totally Unlistenable thread.

Just when I was starting to miss Chicago...

I get that the NFL is a marketing and merchandising revenue-splooging powerhouse and that, also, the Bears have unified the city's sports fans more than any other team throughout their existence, but this is pretty goddamn ridiculous. 

[SKO]

In Chicago, the Bears are coming off a dreadful 5-11 season and we are, today, perhaps at the furthest point away from both last season and next.  

Meanwhile, both baseball teams are in the midst of Spring Training, with legit hopes of playing meaningful August games, the Bulls are headed to the playoffs and the Blackhawks are in the midst of a decade-long once-in-a-generation run, treating their fans to an embarrassment of sustained quality reminiscent of the late 90's Bulls (and already having exceeded the 1980 Bears who, in retrospect, merely stomped on short-bus divisional foes and other talent-challenged teams before getting pansted at home in the playoff nearly every year).

Now I know that baseball hasn't really started, the Bulls are not legitmate title contenders and that hockey gets short shrift in this town by default, but the fact that NFL FREE AGENT SIGNING WEEEK (AND WILL JAY STAY OR GO?) seems to have been dominating local sports radio since Monday is making me hate football more and more.  Fucking obnoxious.  Hosts and callers.  Fucking idiots.  Sorry if this should've been in the Totally Unlistenable thread.

Just when I was starting to miss Chicago...

I get that the NFL is a marketing and merchandising revenue-splooging powerhouse and that, also, the Bears have unified the city's sports fans more than any other team throughout their existence, but this is pretty goddamn ridiculous.  

Yeah it's bothersome that a downright awful Bears team that's made ONE move in free agency so far dominates headlines when news is so much better for every other franchise in the city. The NFL offseason is just everything that sucks about the sport (namely the people that watch it and talk about it, like me) and none of the stuff that actually works (actual football and yeah that's it).

But I can say I spent far more time watching that video of the back to back to back homers and telling everyone I know about it than I did opining about crazy NFL shit on twitter so yay for me.

[SKO]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

[PenFoe]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

[PenFoe]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

[InternetApex]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

[PenFoe]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

[SKO]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

[PenFoe]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

Why would you guarantee 3 years to Eddie Royal?

I know you've only watched Bears games in your life, but Eddie Royals LITERALLY grow on trees.

And the Dolphins always overpay for the top Free Agent. It's like a rite of Spring.

[CT III]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

Why would you guarantee 3 years to Eddie Royal?

I know you've only watched Bears games in your life, but Eddie Royals LITERALLY grow on trees.

And the Dolphins always overpay for the top Free Agent. It's like a rite of Spring.

The years on an NFL contract are NEVER guaranteed Pen. Jebus.

[PenFoe]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

Why would you guarantee 3 years to Eddie Royal?

I know you've only watched Bears games in your life, but Eddie Royals LITERALLY grow on trees.

And the Dolphins always overpay for the top Free Agent. It's like a rite of Spring.

The years on an NFL contract are NEVER guaranteed Pen. Jebus.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. 

My point is that $10MM guaranteed to Eddie Royal is way too much (over any length of time)   
SKO justified it by saying it was $3.3MM a year (implying a 3-year run.) 

[R-V]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

Why would you guarantee 3 years to Eddie Royal?

I know you've only watched Bears games in your life, but Eddie Royals LITERALLY grow on trees.

And the Dolphins always overpay for the top Free Agent. It's like a rite of Spring.

The years on an NFL contract are NEVER guaranteed Pen. Jebus.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. 

My point is that $10MM guaranteed to Eddie Royal is way too much (over any length of time)   
SKO justified it by saying it was $3.3MM a year (implying a 3-year run.)

Isn't the salary cap like $140 million this year? Let's assume he's only a Bear for 2 years, at $5 million guaranteed a year that's like 4% of the cap. It's not a lot of money. The Bears have about a thousand other problems we could pick apart. This ain't one of 'em.

[SKO]

That said Chip Kelly is fucking nuts and I am interested in seeing how quickly he burns all of Philadelphia down.

He definitely is the most fascinating thing going on in the NFL right now.

Well, except for the time that the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

The Colts gave Andre Johnson $16.5MM and he's five years older than Royal. I understand the Colts are trying to get into a Super Bowl while the Bears are trying to get out of their own way. I don't know. That's what people cost these days.

Where did you get that guaranteed number for Andre Johnson?  I only see $7.5MM - $10.5MM.

I feel like an average of $3.3 million guaranteed dollars a year is probably about what you'd expect a 28 year old accomplished slot receiver to make. I mean the absolute vet minimum, is what, $750 K? This seems like a really weird thing to call more bizarre than Chip Kelly or the strangest thing going on this offseason when Ndamukong Suh just got $60 million guaranteed.

Why would you guarantee 3 years to Eddie Royal?

I know you've only watched Bears games in your life, but Eddie Royals LITERALLY grow on trees.

And the Dolphins always overpay for the top Free Agent. It's like a rite of Spring.

The years on an NFL contract are NEVER guaranteed Pen. Jebus.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. 

My point is that $10MM guaranteed to Eddie Royal is way too much (over any length of time)   
SKO justified it by saying it was $3.3MM a year (implying a 3-year run.)

Isn't the salary cap like $140 million this year? Let's assume he's only a Bear for 2 years, at $5 million guaranteed a year that's like 4% of the cap. It's not a lot of money. The Bears have about a thousand other problems we could pick apart. This ain't one of 'em.

It's at 143 I think, and it's gone up 20 mil in two years. I said "an average of 3.3 mil per year" because even if you cut a guy in the NFL the guaranteed money cap hit is usually spread over the full length of the contract. That's why teams give out long deals they know they'll never let a player get to the end of. I didn't realize this was too advanced of a concept for Pen to grasp, although I probably should have.

You're looking at a guy with a cap hit about 1/3rd of what Marshall was making on a team with like 30 million in cap space. I fail to see how this can really be that stupid. I mean, sure, maybe he's overpaid, but literally every free agent ever is considered overpaid. That is how free agency works. I'm not terribly excited about this but it's hard to envision a scenario where the Bears are caught in such a bind sometime in the next three years that we'll all be saying "JESUS IF ONLY THEY HADN'T GIVEN 10 MILLION DOLLARS TO EDDIE ROYAL."

TL/DR Penis wrong.