2015: The Back To The Future Season

[Tonker]

I got in the car and heard Franchester call the final pitch of today's game. He Hawk Harrelsoned it as much as possible when one is on the radio.

It was glorious.

It's burning his bag that the Cubs are going to be better than the Reds for the remainder of his natural life. Even his dumb ass can see it.

I hate the Cardinals most of all, but the fact that the Great Reds Revival came and went without them doing much of anything pleases me greatly. I look forward to Thom blowing a gasket next year and blaming Joey Votto's .390 OBP for them winning 71 games because he won't SWING THE BAT.

Thom and Votto deserve each other: they're both colossal cunts.

[ChuckD]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

[Tonker]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

[Tonker]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

[SKO]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

[Tonker]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

What the fuck is "grobby"?

[SKO]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

What the fuck is "grobby"?

Sorry, I don't speak Welsh. It all sounds like "baaah" to me.

[Tonker]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

What the fuck is "grobby"?

Sorry, I don't speak Welsh. It all sounds like "baaah" to me.

You don't speak anything that anybody outside Iowa speaks, you mean.  On account on your never having set foot over the state line, you fucking inbred hayseed.

[SKO]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

What the fuck is "grobby"?

Sorry, I don't speak Welsh. It all sounds like "baaah" to me.

You don't speak anything that anybody outside Iowa speaks, you mean.  On account on your never having set foot over the state line, you fucking inbred hayseed.

Man, you really are being a cunt

[SKO]

I bet Joey Votto would never be so rude, stand up chap he is.

[PenFoe]

Here's some good old-timey Desipio Joey Votto hate.

[SKO]

Here's some good old-timey Desipio Joey Votto hate.

Ahh, the Marlon Byrd sploogefest, back when we saved our splooges for those who really deserved it and not just every goobledy cunt like Dexter Fowler.

[Oleg]

Votto ... colossal cunts.

Hrm? How so?

Well, he was a gobby cunt about the Cubs at the 2010 AS game.  Now that I try to find the article to back me up on that, though, it appears that it subsequently turned out to be a joke that the press at the time took seriously.  So perhaps he's all right, after all.

Way to be a gobby cunt, Tonk.

Well, ESPN should have fucking tracked me down to make sure that I knew they'd got it wrong.  Blame them.

What is it with the Welsh and being grobby, rumor-mongering cunts?

What the fuck is "grobby"?

Sorry, I don't speak Welsh. It all sounds like "baaah" to me.

You don't speak anything that anybody outside Iowa speaks, you mean.  On account on your never having set foot over the state line, you fucking inbred hayseed.

My old apartment bathroom could only wish this were true.

[SKO]

I don't think he's quite splooge-thread worthy yet but Miguel Montero over the last two weeks is hitting .296/.355/.630/.984 with 3 homers and he's a good catcher and he's funny on the twitter so I like him so far. Welington is also holding up his end of the platoon with a .958 OPS vs. lefties so far.

Goddammit, David Ross.