2015: The Back To The Future Season

[Saul Goodman]

A week ago there were quite a few panicked Cubs fans out there after a shaky series against Cincinnati and a thorough humiliation at home against Philadelphia. But since that Sunday loss they've gone 6-1 by feasting on garbage teams like Milwaukee, like they were supposed to do. Looks like they may have righted the ship. They're starting to score more runs, Addison Russell seems to have awakened, Kris Bryant is showing some glimpses of returning to form, and Anthony Rizzo has been some kind of monster freak. There are still some glaring problems, like the bullpen and the fact that noodle-armed Rafael Soriano still has a job, but here's hoping this is largely what we have to look forward to for the rest of the year. It's gonna hai, indeed.

Maybe.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

A week ago there were quite a few panicked Cubs fans out there after a shaky series against Cincinnati and a thorough humiliation at home against Philadelphia. But since that Sunday loss they've gone 6-1 by feasting on garbage teams like Milwaukee, like they were supposed to do. Looks like they may have righted the ship. They're starting to score more runs, Addison Russell seems to have awakened, Kris Bryant is showing some glimpses of returning to form, and Anthony Rizzo has been some kind of monster freak. There are still some glaring problems, like the bullpen and the fact that noodle-armed Rafael Soriano still has a job, but here's hoping this is largely what we have to look forward to for the rest of the year. It's gonna hai, indeed.

Maybe.

Not mentioned: Dexter Fowler.

As goes Dexter, so goes this Cubs' offense, something we noticed when he was going good the first 6 weeks, and, conversely, something we noticed when he was going career-bad. 

Get that fucker on base at least 34% of the time and good things seem to happen for this offense.

[SKO]

A week ago there were quite a few panicked Cubs fans out there after a shaky series against Cincinnati and a thorough humiliation at home against Philadelphia. But since that Sunday loss they've gone 6-1 by feasting on garbage teams like Milwaukee, like they were supposed to do. Looks like they may have righted the ship. They're starting to score more runs, Addison Russell seems to have awakened, Kris Bryant is showing some glimpses of returning to form, and Anthony Rizzo has been some kind of monster freak. There are still some glaring problems, like the bullpen and the fact that noodle-armed Rafael Soriano still has a job, but here's hoping this is largely what we have to look forward to for the rest of the year. It's gonna hai, indeed.

Maybe.

Not mentioned: Dexter Fowler.

As goes Dexter, so goes this Cubs' offense, something we noticed when he was going good the first 6 weeks, and, conversely, something we noticed when he was going career-bad. 

Get that fucker on base at least 34% of the time and good things seem to happen for this offense.

Him and Rizzo. Turns out a good lead off hitter and a dominant cleanup hitter cover up a lot of weaknesses.

[Tony]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

[InternetApex]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

Hell motherfucking yes, Lord.

*God Bless you, Butthead*

[ChuckD]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

Hell motherfucking yes, Lord.

*God Bless you, Butthead*

What do you do when they get to 11? Actually, never mind. What do you do when they get to 12?

[Oleg]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

Hell motherfucking yes, Lord.

*God Bless you, Butthead*

What do you do when they get to 11? Actually, never mind. What do you do when they get to 12?

Toes.  It's when they get to 21 games over that things really get interesting.

Edit: Damnit.  Now that I reread your post, I think I trampled all over your joke.  Sorry.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

Hell motherfucking yes, Lord.

*God Bless you, Butthead*

What do you do when they get to 11? Actually, never mind. What do you do when they get to 12?

Toes.  It's when they get to 21 games over that things really get interesting.

Edit: Damnit.  Now that I reread your post, I think I trampled all over your joke.  Sorry.

"Oleg" is Russian for "eunuch."

[InternetApex]

Five games over .500, female doges

I used to do this thing where I'd hold up my hand in the mirror when the Cubs got five games over five hundred and count the number of days I could go without being worried about their record. When they'd get to 10, two hands. Yes, I'm a total fucking loser when nobody is around. The things I do with my hands are horribly gross.

But I did the thing with the hand last night after "we" got to five games over. It felt stupid and now I hate myself.

Hell motherfucking yes, Lord.

*God Bless you, Butthead*

What do you do when they get to 11? Actually, never mind. What do you do when they get to 12?

I get the beans above the frank.

[Saul Goodman]

A week ago there were quite a few panicked Cubs fans out there after a shaky series against Cincinnati and a thorough humiliation at home against Philadelphia. But since that Sunday loss they've gone 6-1 by feasting on garbage teams like Milwaukee, like they were supposed to do. Looks like they may have righted the ship. They're starting to score more runs, Addison Russell seems to have awakened, Kris Bryant is showing some glimpses of returning to form, and Anthony Rizzo has been some kind of monster freak. There are still some glaring problems, like the bullpen and the fact that noodle-armed Rafael Soriano still has a job, but here's hoping this is largely what we have to look forward to for the rest of the year. It's gonna hai, indeed.

Maybe.

Not mentioned: Dexter Fowler.

As goes Dexter, so goes this Cubs' offense, something we noticed when he was going good the first 6 weeks, and, conversely, something we noticed when he was going career-bad. 

Get that fucker on base at least 34% of the time and good things seem to happen for this offense.

Not mentioned intentionally, in hopes my snubbing will continue to fuel his recent success. Fact: Dexter Fowler sucks. Bring it, Dex!

[SKO]

So is Joe doing the "look at this shit you gave me to work with?" thing with Soriano that he did with Schlitter and Coke? Is he trying to get the front office to admit defeat and cut the guy? That's got to be it, right? There's no way he actually thinks that guy can be useful, is there?

[Eli]

So is Joe doing the "look at this shit you gave me to work with?" thing with Soriano that he did with Schlitter and Coke? Is he trying to get the front office to admit defeat and cut the guy? That's got to be it, right? There's no way he actually thinks that guy can be useful, is there?

Probably. The front office is great and they need to have more of a process than us lazy fans on the couch BUT I do think they're sometimes slow to admit mistakes. It seems pretty obvious that Soriano has nothing left in the tank (he didn't last year either). Why are they still messing around with him?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

So is Joe doing the "look at this shit you gave me to work with?" thing with Soriano that he did with Schlitter and Coke? Is he trying to get the front office to admit defeat and cut the guy? That's got to be it, right? There's no way he actually thinks that guy can be useful, is there?

Probably. The front office is great and they need to have more of a process than us lazy fans on the couch BUT I do think they're sometimes slow to admit mistakes. It seems pretty obvious that Soriano has nothing left in the tank (he didn't last year either). Why are they still messing around with him?

5 games indicates they're too slow to admit a mistake?   I think it was fair to give him more than 5 appearances to see if maybe his arm needed to wake up.  Last night was his 6th appearance and if they DFA him now I find it hard to assert that they took too long to make the decision.

On the other hand If they don't DFA him now I might be inclined to your line of thinking but I just don't see how 2.5 weeks is slow to admit a mistake.  

[Eli]

So is Joe doing the "look at this shit you gave me to work with?" thing with Soriano that he did with Schlitter and Coke? Is he trying to get the front office to admit defeat and cut the guy? That's got to be it, right? There's no way he actually thinks that guy can be useful, is there?

Probably. The front office is great and they need to have more of a process than us lazy fans on the couch BUT I do think they're sometimes slow to admit mistakes. It seems pretty obvious that Soriano has nothing left in the tank (he didn't last year either). Why are they still messing around with him?

5 games indicates they're too slow to admit a mistake?   I think it was fair to give him more than 5 appearances to see if maybe his arm needed to wake up.  Last night was his 6th appearance and if they DFA him now I find it hard to assert that they took too long to make the decision.

On the other hand If they don't DFA him now I might be inclined to your line of thinking but I just don't see how 2.5 weeks is slow to admit a mistake.  

That's all fair. I was probably being a bit pre-emptive in that I'd be surprised if he was shipped off anytime in the next few weeks.

[InternetApex]

So is Joe doing the "look at this shit you gave me to work with?" thing with Soriano that he did with Schlitter and Coke? Is he trying to get the front office to admit defeat and cut the guy? That's got to be it, right? There's no way he actually thinks that guy can be useful, is there?

Probably. The front office is great and they need to have more of a process than us lazy fans on the couch BUT I do think they're sometimes slow to admit mistakes. It seems pretty obvious that Soriano has nothing left in the tank (he didn't last year either). Why are they still messing around with him?

5 games indicates they're too slow to admit a mistake?   I think it was fair to give him more than 5 appearances to see if maybe his arm needed to wake up.  Last night was his 6th appearance and if they DFA him now I find it hard to assert that they took too long to make the decision.

On the other hand If they don't DFA him now I might be inclined to your line of thinking but I just don't see how 2.5 weeks is slow to admit a mistake.  

That's all fair. I was probably being a bit pre-emptive in that I'd be surprised if he was shipped off anytime in the next few weeks.

Last night seemed like the perfect use for Soriano, I thought.