2015: The Back To The Future Season

[InternetApex]

Speaking of the Giants, I honestly feel that the main objective of this series is to not get swept.  Losing all 3 would slingshot the Giants right back into the Wildcard race with a head full of steam.

I'd be disappointed if the Cubs don't take 2 of the games but honestly I'm primarily concerned with them taking at least 1.

Take 2, on the other hand, and they've nearly pushed the Giants out of contention.

Sweep the series and I think we can start planning for at least one postseason game.

I'm not going to be too stressed out even if the Giants sweep and cut the Cubs lead to 3.5. That's sizeable enough I feel they could hold them off with only 36 games remaining at that point. That said, they have a definite advantage tonight in Arrieta vs. Cain, so if they could take that one and make it 7.5 games I'm pretty sure that'll be all she wrote for the wildcard race.

It really is sort of ideal that Jake takes the bump for the first game.  Take that game and there's a good chance that the Giants will start playing with tightsphincteritis the rest of the series.  Part of me feels Jake may be due for a stinker, but on the other hand this just might be his fucking year and he'll just Sutcliffe his way into October.

The Giants are one team that I don't think would contract lemon booty given all their recent success. Especially with the ass end of the Cubs rotation being as questionable as it's been. I'll hang my hat on the Cubs being the better, hotter team and expect to win 1 of 3, possibly 2. If they win all three, I'll feel very confused. I don't know what I'll do. I guess look at the scoreboard and see what the Pirates are doing.

[InternetApex]

I also find a magic number countdown for a one game playoff has the potential to be anticlimactic and depressing. If they vault over the Cardinals I give Fork permission to resume the countdown to the division title.

Why wait? Saturday, I spoke to a Cardinal fan convinced the Methpocalypse is upon him this month. Cubs will win the division.


(over St. Louis)


(over Pittsburgh)

Yes.

[ChuckD]

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing the Pirates overtake the Cardinals just so that the Cubs can knock them out in the play-in game and watch the BFIB's gates of butthurt swing wide open.

Of course, if the Cubs overtook both of them and let Bucs have that honor, so be it.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing the Pirates overtake the Cardinals just so that the Cubs can knock them out in the play-in game and watch the BFIB's gates of butthurt swing wide open.

Of course, if the Cubs overtook both of them and let Bucs have that honor, so be it.

That's what I've been hoping for since mid-to-late July (short of the Cubs passing both teams of course).

[Quality Start Machine]

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing the Pirates overtake the Cardinals just so that the Cubs can knock them out in the play-in game and watch the BFIB's gates of butthurt swing wide open.

Of course, if the Cubs overtook both of them and let Bucs have that honor, so be it.

Put Jake on the bump for one game against the Morans. Let's do this.

[Brownie]

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing the Pirates overtake the Cardinals just so that the Cubs can knock them out in the play-in game and watch the BFIB's gates of butthurt swing wide open.

Of course, if the Cubs overtook both of them and let Bucs have that honor, so be it.

I want the Cubs to win the division and the Cardinals to beat Pittsburgh in Busch Stadium on a disputed ninth inning call that  everyone outside of Jefferson County, MO sees as the biggest train robbery since Rondout. I then want Arrieta to shut them down in Game 1, a 3-1 win, highlighted by a two-out, two-run Kyle Schwarber double down the first base line in the fifth.

In Game Two, the gutless Jon Lester will go seven innings and leave with the Cubs up 4-2 (two-run homer by Rizzo, a Dexter Fowler RBI triple and a Chris Coghlan sac fly providing the runs) before Jason Motte allows 2 in the eighth. But the Cubs will push the winning run across in the ninth, maybe on an Addison Russell single to drive in Starlin Castro, who reached base on an error and went to second on a wild pitch, and the Cubs will take a 2-0 lead to Busch.

I'm then hoping that Michael Wacha (who will have of course pitched the SeligCard game) will get the call in Game 3 in St. Louis, facing Kyle Hendricks. Hendricks will get a short leash, getting pulled for Travis Wood in the second, with St. Louis out to a 2-0 lead and a first-and-third, one-out situation. Wood will pitch the third, fourth and part of the fifth, and the ex-Cardinal Dan Haren will come in, get the last out in the fifth, and work a perfect sixth, seventh and eighth as the Cubs work on Wacha. By the sixth inning, Wacha will have 110 pitches, and the concussed Mike Matheny will keep him in, as he allows a two-out walk to Anthony Rizzo on a ridiculous 14-pitch at-bat. Then Kris Bryant will hit Wacha's second pitch out of the ballpark. Matheny will then go to the bullpen, but the air will have been let out of the ballpark.

With the score tied at 2 in the top of the 9th, Montero will lead off with a bloop single, followed by a strikeout by pinch-hitter Chris Denorfia. Addison Russell will hit a double into the left-field gap, and Dexter Fowler will walk to bring up Schwarber with the bases loaded. Schwarber will look at Trevor Rosenthal in a way that somehow offends the BFIBB and he'll  hit a grounder to second that Kolten Wong fields, throws to shortstop Jhonny Peralta, who forces Fowler at second. However, Fowler slides in hard (not dirty, just a good slide) and Peralta's throw to first goes into foul territory (but in play). Montero and Russell will score and Schwarber will stand at second when the play is over. A TV camera beams pictures of the Cubs congratulating each other (and Fowler) in the dugout as they take a 4-2 lead and then another TV camera will show Scharber smiling (maybe even pumping a fist) as Chris Coghlan grounds out to short to end the inning.

Hector Rondon will pitch the bottom of the ninth, allowing a hard line drive to right that Jorge Soler catches and a ground ball to third (that goes down as a deserved double, because back when Shane Andrews played third and Henry Rodriguez played left, it would have easily been a double) that Bryant fields and throws to first. With Jason Heyward (you know, the Cardinals "steal of the century," the off-season acquisition almost as good as the Sox' acquisitions of Samardzija, Melky Cabrera and Adam LaRoche) batting, Rondon will fall behind 2-0 before Heyward fouls one off down the left-field line. Rondon will then locate a slider on the corner for a strike. After Heyward hits a hard ground ball foul down the first base line, Rondon will throw him a slider in the dirt that Heyward will check his swing on. Montero will check with third-base umpire Joe West who will signal that Heyward indeed went around, touching off a mini-celebration by the Cubs, only to be surpassed about nine days later in Flushing, New York, which will be dwarved on Halloween Night in Lakeview.

However, we will be treated to six months of St. Louis fans bitching about how lucky the Cubs got and how they didn't play the right way and how they bought a World Series by acquiring Dan Haren. Nothing so bitter will have ever been so delicious. Not even lemonade.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Given the choice, I'd rather dispose of the Cardinals in 1 game rather than a series.  I don't know that I could handle a series.

[Slaky]

Since Matt Cain fully sucks I'm expecting a Cubs win tonight.

[Oleg]

I'm expecting TJ to be named the next Cubs official historian.

[InternetApex]

I'm expecting TJ to be named the next Cubs official historian.

He's good at it but he's even better as a futurian.

[R-V]

If we're doing the magic number thing, here's one for Apex.

[InternetApex]

If we're doing the magic number thing, here's one for Apex.

Something something the Knicks won the series and Scottie shat the tub in game seven something something.

[SKO]

If we're doing the magic number thing, here's one for Apex.

Something something the Knicks won the series and Scottie shat the tub in game seven something something.

I've got you, buddy:

[SKO]

DPD: this Cubs Perfect Strangers intro is the best: http://www.sportingnews.com/mlb/story/2015-08-25/chicago-cubs-perfect-strangers-video-sitcom-intro-mashup-giants-pirates-full-house-family-matters

[Saul Goodman]

At this point, I wouldn't mind seeing the Pirates overtake the Cardinals just so that the Cubs can knock them out in the play-in game and watch the BFIB's gates of butthurt swing wide open.

Of course, if the Cubs overtook both of them and let Bucs have that honor, so be it.

I want the Cubs to win the division and the Cardinals to beat Pittsburgh in Busch Stadium on a disputed ninth inning call that  everyone outside of Jefferson County, MO sees as the biggest train robbery since Rondout. I then want Arrieta to shut them down in Game 1, a 3-1 win, highlighted by a two-out, two-run Kyle Schwarber double down the first base line in the fifth.

In Game Two, the gutless Jon Lester will go seven innings and leave with the Cubs up 4-2 (two-run homer by Rizzo, a Dexter Fowler RBI triple and a Chris Coghlan sac fly providing the runs) before Jason Motte allows 2 in the eighth. But the Cubs will push the winning run across in the ninth, maybe on an Addison Russell single to drive in Starlin Castro, who reached base on an error and went to second on a wild pitch, and the Cubs will take a 2-0 lead to Busch.

I'm then hoping that Michael Wacha (who will have of course pitched the SeligCard game) will get the call in Game 3 in St. Louis, facing Kyle Hendricks. Hendricks will get a short leash, getting pulled for Travis Wood in the second, with St. Louis out to a 2-0 lead and a first-and-third, one-out situation. Wood will pitch the third, fourth and part of the fifth, and the ex-Cardinal Dan Haren will come in, get the last out in the fifth, and work a perfect sixth, seventh and eighth as the Cubs work on Wacha. By the sixth inning, Wacha will have 110 pitches, and the concussed Mike Matheny will keep him in, as he allows a two-out walk to Anthony Rizzo on a ridiculous 14-pitch at-bat. Then Kris Bryant will hit Wacha's second pitch out of the ballpark. Matheny will then go to the bullpen, but the air will have been let out of the ballpark.

With the score tied at 2 in the top of the 9th, Montero will lead off with a bloop single, followed by a strikeout by pinch-hitter Chris Denorfia. Addison Russell will hit a double into the left-field gap, and Dexter Fowler will walk to bring up Schwarber with the bases loaded. Schwarber will look at Trevor Rosenthal in a way that somehow offends the BFIBB and he'll  hit a grounder to second that Kolten Wong fields, throws to shortstop Jhonny Peralta, who forces Fowler at second. However, Fowler slides in hard (not dirty, just a good slide) and Peralta's throw to first goes into foul territory (but in play). Montero and Russell will score and Schwarber will stand at second when the play is over. A TV camera beams pictures of the Cubs congratulating each other (and Fowler) in the dugout as they take a 4-2 lead and then another TV camera will show Scharber smiling (maybe even pumping a fist) as Chris Coghlan grounds out to short to end the inning.

Hector Rondon will pitch the bottom of the ninth, allowing a hard line drive to right that Jorge Soler catches and a ground ball to third (that goes down as a deserved double, because back when Shane Andrews played third and Henry Rodriguez played left, it would have easily been a double) that Bryant fields and throws to first. With Jason Heyward (you know, the Cardinals "steal of the century," the off-season acquisition almost as good as the Sox' acquisitions of Samardzija, Melky Cabrera and Adam LaRoche) batting, Rondon will fall behind 2-0 before Heyward fouls one off down the left-field line. Rondon will then locate a slider on the corner for a strike. After Heyward hits a hard ground ball foul down the first base line, Rondon will throw him a slider in the dirt that Heyward will check his swing on. Montero will check with third-base umpire Joe West who will signal that Heyward indeed went around, touching off a mini-celebration by the Cubs, only to be surpassed about nine days later in Flushing, New York, which will be dwarved on Halloween Night in Lakeview.

However, we will be treated to six months of St. Louis fans bitching about how lucky the Cubs got and how they didn't play the right way and how they bought a World Series by acquiring Dan Haren. Nothing so bitter will have ever been so delicious. Not even lemonade.

10/10, would fap to again