Dexter Fowler Center Field of Splooge Thread

[PenFoe]

I enjoyed re-reading the Xavier Nady thread, for what it's worth.

#NEVERFORGET

[InternetApex]

Dexter Fowler killed LaTroy Hawkins.

Harding not much of a fan of Bettencourt apparently

Sorry - I swapped out the image, so now you look like a raving lunatic.

I was about to say the same thing he said.

Some asswipe on Fork's facebook said something about LaTroy posting above average WAR/FIP etc. as a Cub and I wanted to shoot him. No one ever said LaTroy's statistics sucked. Meatball or no, he had a 69% save percentage as a Cub and everyone of those blown saves was a nut punch. I have a right to hate that man, statistics be damned!

Hawkins was an asshole to the press while he was here, which is one of his redeeming qualities. The butthurt that ensued when he told the pool of writers, "I can do what you do. You can't do what I do," was so fantastically beautiful that I defended him right up until the Offerhelmet Affair. I can't hate LaTroy. I'm usually mildly amused by his cockbaggery and amazed at his longevity. HGH is a helluva drug.

[Saul Goodman]

AARON MILES GOT A FUCKING SPLOOGE THREAD

We were being ironical.

Ironic about Carlos Silva? Tom fucking Gorzelanny? Randy Wells? Xavier Nady?

Y'all either suck hard at irony or the goddamn Dexter Fowler splooge is more than warranted. I'll see every one of you in hell. Except for Tonks, who will be in European hell.

Lol at citing the Gorzelanny thread, which was obviously completely 100% serious and didn't have a question mark in the title either.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

AARON MILES GOT A FUCKING SPLOOGE THREAD

We were being ironical.

Ironic about Carlos Silva? Tom fucking Gorzelanny? Randy Wells? Xavier Nady?

Y'all either suck hard at irony or the goddamn Dexter Fowler splooge is more than warranted. I'll see every one of you in hell. Except for Tonks, who will be in European hell.

Lol at citing the Gorzelanny thread, which was obviously completely 100% serious and didn't have a question mark in the title either.

I was so hoping to find a GARBANZO BEANZ drop in there but, alas, was sadly disappointed. 

[SKO]

Dexter Fowler killed LaTroy Hawkins.

Harding not much of a fan of Bettencourt apparently

Sorry - I swapped out the image, so now you look like a raving lunatic.

I was about to say the same thing he said.

Some asswipe on Fork's facebook said something about LaTroy posting above average WAR/FIP etc. as a Cub and I wanted to shoot him. No one ever said LaTroy's statistics sucked. Meatball or no, he had a 69% save percentage as a Cub and everyone of those blown saves was a nut punch. I have a right to hate that man, statistics be damned!

Hawkins was an asshole to the press while he was here, which is one of his redeeming qualities. The butthurt that ensued when he told the pool of writers, "I can do what you do. You can't do what I do," was so fantastically beautiful that I defended him right up until the Offerhelmet Affair. I can't hate LaTroy. I'm usually mildly amused by his cockbaggery and amazed at his longevity. HGH is a helluva drug.

Much as I loathe the Chicago media, my hatred of them does not outweigh my desire to see the team make the playoffs. LaTroy can screw.

[Slaky]

So Tonk was all on board the Mike Olt Train as early as April 3rd, 2014:

FYS

"S"?   Surely not "CBS".

Slak's the only OLTHATER round these parts, Stew.  The rest of us (you included, I feel sure) worship the bloke.

But he'd like to caution any premature celebration over a proven major league player like Dexter Fowler. Hmm. What differences could one not between Olt and Fowler?

Never listen to the Welsh. Lousy bigots.

People here like Mike Olt? Christ.

[Saul Goodman]

AARON MILES GOT A FUCKING SPLOOGE THREAD

We were being ironical.

Ironic about Carlos Silva? Tom fucking Gorzelanny? Randy Wells? Xavier Nady?

Y'all either suck hard at irony or the goddamn Dexter Fowler splooge is more than warranted. I'll see every one of you in hell. Except for Tonks, who will be in European hell.

Lol at citing the Gorzelanny thread, which was obviously completely 100% serious and didn't have a question mark in the title either.

I was so hoping to find a GARBANZO BEANZ drop in there but, alas, was sadly disappointed. 

I don't even remember where exactly that started. Desipio history is complicated and requires a PhD to understand. Master's degree, at least. How about just a bachelor's. Okay fine, a GED.

[InternetApex]

Dexter Fowler killed LaTroy Hawkins.

Harding not much of a fan of Bettencourt apparently

Sorry - I swapped out the image, so now you look like a raving lunatic.

I was about to say the same thing he said.

Some asswipe on Fork's facebook said something about LaTroy posting above average WAR/FIP etc. as a Cub and I wanted to shoot him. No one ever said LaTroy's statistics sucked. Meatball or no, he had a 69% save percentage as a Cub and everyone of those blown saves was a nut punch. I have a right to hate that man, statistics be damned!

Hawkins was an asshole to the press while he was here, which is one of his redeeming qualities. The butthurt that ensued when he told the pool of writers, "I can do what you do. You can't do what I do," was so fantastically beautiful that I defended him right up until the Offerhelmet Affair. I can't hate LaTroy. I'm usually mildly amused by his cockbaggery and amazed at his longevity. HGH is a helluva drug.

Much as I loathe the Chicago media, my hatred of them does not outweigh my desire to see the team make the playoffs. LaTroy can screw.

Yeah, I know. But it's just funny because he's right. LaTroy could pay his way through journalism school on one paycheck, get a job writing at some publication and probably write and report circles around a guy like Gordo. And they were so fucking mad when he said it. I bet they still talk about it.

[Bort]

God damn it, people. Are you slapdicks being soft on LaTroy? Fuck that guy ten thousand times. If I had a FIREBARN ready at the time, he'd have gone up like a Snork dipped in Todd Hundley's 180 proof sweat.

[PenFoe]

So Tonk was all on board the Mike Olt Train as early as April 3rd, 2014:

FYS

"S"?   Surely not "CBS".

Slak's the only OLTHATER round these parts, Stew.  The rest of us (you included, I feel sure) worship the bloke.

But he'd like to caution any premature celebration over a proven major league player like Dexter Fowler. Hmm. What differences could one not between Olt and Fowler?

Never listen to the Welsh. Lousy bigots.

People here like Mike Olt? Christ.

I'd like for him to be good. That's about as far as I'll go.

Plus, his girlfriend is the hottest of any Cubs player, major league or prospect, so there's that.

[InternetApex]

So Tonk was all on board the Mike Olt Train as early as April 3rd, 2014:

FYS

"S"?   Surely not "CBS".

Slak's the only OLTHATER round these parts, Stew.  The rest of us (you included, I feel sure) worship the bloke.

But he'd like to caution any premature celebration over a proven major league player like Dexter Fowler. Hmm. What differences could one not between Olt and Fowler?

Never listen to the Welsh. Lousy bigots.

People here like Mike Olt? Christ.

I'd like for him to be good. That's about as far as I'll go.

Plus, his girlfriend is the hottest of any Cubs player, major league or prospect, so there's that.

[flannj]

God damn it, people. Are you slapdicks being soft on LaTroy? Fuck that guy ten thousand times. If I had a FIREBARN ready at the time, he'd have gone up like a Snork dipped in Todd Hundley's 180 proof sweat.

Bort is the only one here that has half a brain (besides me of course).

From some dead guy that used to show up here:

Low Point: Even though I had some bad moments during my time with the Cubs, I have to say that I never felt lower than toward the end of the 2004 season. Remember when we had a 1.5-game lead over the Giants for the NL Wild Card, and we were in New York facing the Mets with a three-run lead with two outs in the bottom of the 9th? Yeah, sorry about that game-tying three-run bomb I served up to Victor Diaz. I guess you could argue that the blown save game them the chance to win that game in the bottom of the 11th inning 4-3, leaving us with only a half game lead in the Wild Card standings.

I tried to make up for it in my very next outing on September 29, 2004, when I came in against the Reds with a 2-1 lead in the top of the 9th at Wrigley. We were tied with the Giants for the Wild Card before the game. I got the first two outs, and everyone thought we might jump into the lead. And then I gave up a triple and a double to tie the game. That set up a two-run, 12th-inning home run by Austin Kearns. We lost 4-3, lost the Wild Card lead, and never recovered.

What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[SKO]

God damn it, people. Are you slapdicks being soft on LaTroy? Fuck that guy ten thousand times. If I had a FIREBARN ready at the time, he'd have gone up like a Snork dipped in Todd Hundley's 180 proof sweat.

Bort is the only one here that has half a brain (besides me of course).

From some dead guy that used to show up here:

Low Point: Even though I had some bad moments during my time with the Cubs, I have to say that I never felt lower than toward the end of the 2004 season. Remember when we had a 1.5-game lead over the Giants for the NL Wild Card, and we were in New York facing the Mets with a three-run lead with two outs in the bottom of the 9th? Yeah, sorry about that game-tying three-run bomb I served up to Victor Diaz. I guess you could argue that the blown save game them the chance to win that game in the bottom of the 11th inning 4-3, leaving us with only a half game lead in the Wild Card standings.

I tried to make up for it in my very next outing on September 29, 2004, when I came in against the Reds with a 2-1 lead in the top of the 9th at Wrigley. We were tied with the Giants for the Wild Card before the game. I got the first two outs, and everyone thought we might jump into the lead. And then I gave up a triple and a double to tie the game. That set up a two-run, 12th-inning home run by Austin Kearns. We lost 4-3, lost the Wild Card lead, and never recovered.

What the fuck is wrong with you people.

I think Apex is the only one shown to be Soft on LaTroy and we've all more or less agreed he's not well.

[CT III]

God damn it, people. Are you slapdicks being soft on LaTroy? Fuck that guy ten thousand times. If I had a FIREBARN ready at the time, he'd have gone up like a Snork dipped in Todd Hundley's 180 proof sweat.

Bort is the only one here that has half a brain (besides me of course).

From some dead guy that used to show up here:

Low Point: Even though I had some bad moments during my time with the Cubs, I have to say that I never felt lower than toward the end of the 2004 season. Remember when we had a 1.5-game lead over the Giants for the NL Wild Card, and we were in New York facing the Mets with a three-run lead with two outs in the bottom of the 9th? Yeah, sorry about that game-tying three-run bomb I served up to Victor Diaz. I guess you could argue that the blown save game them the chance to win that game in the bottom of the 11th inning 4-3, leaving us with only a half game lead in the Wild Card standings.

I tried to make up for it in my very next outing on September 29, 2004, when I came in against the Reds with a 2-1 lead in the top of the 9th at Wrigley. We were tied with the Giants for the Wild Card before the game. I got the first two outs, and everyone thought we might jump into the lead. And then I gave up a triple and a double to tie the game. That set up a two-run, 12th-inning home run by Austin Kearns. We lost 4-3, lost the Wild Card lead, and never recovered.

What the fuck is wrong with you people.

I think Apex is the only one shown to be Soft on LaTroy and we've all more or less agreed he's not well.

Honestly, the only good thing to come out of all this is remembering when everyone thought that the Reds outfield of Kearns, Dunn, Pena/Griffey/Encarnacion was going institute a decade-long reign of terror in the NL.

[CBStew]

God damn it, people. Are you slapdicks being soft on LaTroy? Fuck that guy ten thousand times. If I had a FIREBARN ready at the time, he'd have gone up like a Snork dipped in Todd Hundley's 180 proof sweat.

Bort is the only one here that has half a brain (besides me of course).

From some dead guy that used to show up here:

Low Point: Even though I had some bad moments during my time with the Cubs, I have to say that I never felt lower than toward the end of the 2004 season. Remember when we had a 1.5-game lead over the Giants for the NL Wild Card, and we were in New York facing the Mets with a three-run lead with two outs in the bottom of the 9th? Yeah, sorry about that game-tying three-run bomb I served up to Victor Diaz. I guess you could argue that the blown save game them the chance to win that game in the bottom of the 11th inning 4-3, leaving us with only a half game lead in the Wild Card standings.

I tried to make up for it in my very next outing on September 29, 2004, when I came in against the Reds with a 2-1 lead in the top of the 9th at Wrigley. We were tied with the Giants for the Wild Card before the game. I got the first two outs, and everyone thought we might jump into the lead. And then I gave up a triple and a double to tie the game. That set up a two-run, 12th-inning home run by Austin Kearns. We lost 4-3, lost the Wild Card lead, and never recovered.

What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Where to start?  I have met only two of you in person, Fork and Apex.  Hardly a representative sample.