Firebarn Chris Coghlan Because Fuck You, That's Why

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

[Tonker]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

[InternetApex]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

[SKO]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

Quiet Huey. We Coghlan haters must bide our time during his blistering hot 3-21 streak. Thanks to his walk, every time he bats he's now an absolutely staggering 27.5% of the way to first base and 54% of the way to ending up on waivers.

[Bort]

Good...good...let the hate flow, Desipio...

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

Fuck no.

[SKO]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

[Yeti]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

Quiet Huey. We Coghlan haters must bide our time during his blistering hot 3-21 streak. Thanks to his walk, every time he bats he's now an absolutely staggering 27.5% of the way to first base and 54% of the way to ending up on waivers.

May be 3 for 21, but he hits WHEN IT MATTERS

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

And I will say that Coghlan had the benefit of seeing Familia throw nothing in the zone to Soler and yet he still swung on 2-0 at a pitch that was at his ankles.

[InternetApex]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

And I will say that Coghlan had the benefit of seeing Familia throw nothing in the zone to Soler and yet he still swung on 2-0 at a pitch that was at his ankles.

Maybe that was a ploy to get Familia to keep avoiding the strike zone. If he stands there with his bat on his shoulders, he's obviously taking 3-0, maybe Familia comes back and pumps one in for strike two also. Now what. Now you have to swing if it looks close and that sinker was disgusting. If this were anybody other than Chris Coghlan, I might be able to talk myself into this.

[Powdered Toast Man]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

I really don't understand...I 100% expect both of them to succeed in that situation. You can't sit there and say you expect Coghlan to fail so fuck him, but when he does succeed fuck him still? Just maybe think for a second that Chris Coghlan is not the one to firebarn, man. Edwin Jackson has a one-story, one-bedroom single light bulb firebarn full of dry twigs and lighter fluid ready and no one else belongs there.

Coghlan also made a couple nice plays in LF last night...didn't he throw someone out, too? Maybe it looks like he makes the plays despite his abilities, I agree on that, but at least he made them.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

And I will say that Coghlan had the benefit of seeing Familia throw nothing in the zone to Soler and yet he still swung on 2-0 at a pitch that was at his ankles.

Maybe that was a ploy to get Familia to keep avoiding the strike zone. If he stands there with his bat on his shoulders, he's obviously taking 3-0, maybe Familia comes back and pumps one in for strike two also. Now what. Now you have to swing if it looks close and that sinker was disgusting. If this were anybody other than Chris Coghlan, I might be able to talk myself into this.

That's fair.

[SKO]

FYSKO!

(He's still shitty.)

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want.  

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

That's true. Gotta endure the highs and lows of young star prospects like Soler and Coghlan

I really don't understand...I 100% expect both of them to succeed in that situation. You can't sit there and say you expect Coghlan to fail so fuck him, but when he does succeed fuck him still? Just maybe think for a second that Chris Coghlan is not the one to firebarn, man. Edwin Jackson has a one-story, one-bedroom single light bulb firebarn full of dry twigs and lighter fluid ready and no one else belongs there.

Coghlan also made a couple nice plays in LF last night...didn't he throw someone out, too? Maybe it looks like he makes the plays despite his abilities, I agree on that, but at least he made them.

I'm saying fuck Coghlan for being 30 and shitty. Huey bitching about his approach to that walk is one thing, I'm saying even with that walk and homer he's still been fucking garbage.

I'm not mad at Jorge because he's a 23 year old prospect.  If you expect the same approach from a guy who has played like 60 major league games vs a guy who has been in the majors for six years, that's weird.


And for the last goddamn time what is this fucking finite hate reserve you are drawing from that doesn't allow you to hate more than one player? Pointing out the left fielder with the .669 OPS as worthy of scorn slows down my Edwin hate exactly zero.

Jesus the bullshit toleration in this joint.

[SKO]

Since I wasn't around back then did people in '05 say you couldn't hate Todd Hollandsworth or something because he was decent the year before and hey isn't LaTroy MORE hateworthy? Because this seems odd to me.