Firebarn Chris Coghlan Because Fuck You, That's Why

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Bump for failing to deliver a gift-wrapped Geico insurance run tonight. For fucks sake, man.

[SKO]

Chris Coghlan in his last sixteen games (since the start of the Mets series):

14/49, 4HR, 12-8 K/BB, 2SB.  .286/.386/.571

That's more like what you need from LF.  FYSKO!

In the week since Tonk posted this:

.188/.278/.250/.528.

If you dumbasses haven't figured out yet that the only hope this piece of shit has is to fuel himself on our hatred I can't help you. The second we tolerate Coghlan's bullshit is the second he'll start shoveling it right up our noses.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Chris Coghlan in his last sixteen games (since the start of the Mets series):

14/49, 4HR, 12-8 K/BB, 2SB.  .286/.386/.571

That's more like what you need from LF.  FYSKO!

In the week since Tonk posted this:

.188/.278/.250/.528.

If you dumbasses haven't figured out yet that the only hope this piece of shit has is to fuel himself on our hatred I can't help you. The second we tolerate Coghlan's bullshit is the second he'll start shoveling it right up our noses.

*grabs popcorn, pulls up chair*

[SKO]

Chris Coghlan in his last sixteen games (since the start of the Mets series):

14/49, 4HR, 12-8 K/BB, 2SB.  .286/.386/.571

That's more like what you need from LF.  FYSKO!

In the week since Tonk posted this:

.188/.278/.250/.528.

If you dumbasses haven't figured out yet that the only hope this piece of shit has is to fuel himself on our hatred I can't help you. The second we tolerate Coghlan's bullshit is the second he'll start shoveling it right up our noses.

*grabs popcorn, pulls up chair*

His BABIP is now up to .246, which is still a little rough luck territory but not so abysmal as to excuse everything bad about him, and that blessed hard hit % everyone was touting earlier is now almost down to exactly what he did last year: 31% vs. 29.8%. I'm thinking we're back to "What you see is what you get" territory with this scrub, and by god I don't like it. #TeamSchwarberInLeftPlz

[InternetApex]

He's Joe Fucking DiMaggio.

[Slaky]

He's Joe Fucking DiMaggio.

And Denorfia is going to hit .440 all season.

[Tonker]

Chris Coghlan, last fifteen games:

.326/.383/.512/.895

Season vs. righties:

.247/.314/.468/.781

I'm not sure how much more than that you should legitimately expect from your cheap-as-chips scrub LF, to be honest.  I don't have any particular torch to carry for Coghlan, but after a slow start he's been absolutely fucking fine.  If you want to worry about a Cub, worry about Lester, who's getting paid $20MM to pitch not quite as well as Tsuyoshi Wada.

By the way, Castro is batting .296/.345/.519/.863 for June, which is nice.

Tony Ballgame in June?  .379/.486/.759/1.244.  Lordy.

[SKO]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

[Quality Start Machine]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

Twat.

[ChuckD]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

Twat.

Twoght*

[Eli]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

A noble cause. One that seems to be working. I may need to jump back on bashing Montero, last night aside.

[Yeti]

This hand-wringing over Chris Coghlan led me to skim this thread more than read it in depth, but has anyone pointed out that Coghlan is terrible April/May all the time?

OPS By Month:
March/April: .610
May: .615
June: .818
July: .766
August: .890
September: .833

So, wait til June to hate. You're welcome

Currently with an .811 OPS in June

[SKO]

I just wanted to see Kyle Schwarber in left and I won't apologize for it. I still do. They can trade Coghlan for Cole Hamels. Who says no?

[Tonker]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

A noble cause. One that seems to be working. I may need to jump back on bashing Montero, last night aside.

I'm not sure you're allowed to hate a guy, and then take credit for any improvement he might make.  Seems a little like having your cake, and eating it.

Mmm... cake.

[Bort]

I'm going to keep fueling this replacement level scrub with my hatred till he's won World Series MVP.

A noble cause. One that seems to be working. I may need to jump back on bashing Montero, last night aside.

I'm not sure you're allowed to hate a guy, and then take credit for any improvement he might make.  Seems a little like having your cake, and eating it.

Mmm... cake.

Are you saying I didn't singlehandedly turn Snork into a valuable trade chip?