Firebarn Chris Coghlan Because Fuck You, That's Why

[Quality Start Machine]

THE COGHLAN GAME

Keep up the negativity on this guy til he's got 20 dongs and is at least over .265. But YAY for him and the Cubs power coming to life lately.

5 HR and 12 BA points to go.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

[Quality Start Machine]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

[SKO]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

[Bort]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

To set up the play action.

[Quality Start Machine]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

Thought he was FA, my bad.

Regardless of what Javy does this September, I think the Cubs would be wise to hedge their bets.

[Eli]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

[SKO]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

[Slaky]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

[SKO]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

[Slaky]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

I can't wait for Dolan to bust out the completely inappropriate Oscar Taveras jokes during the playoffs. I'm serious. It's going to be great.

[SKO]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

I can't wait for Dolan to bust out the completely inappropriate Oscar Taveras jokes during the playoffs. I'm serious. It's going to be great.

My boss is one of the few rational, non annoying Cardinals fans I know. We had the following exchange the day Bryant was called up:

Boss: I give him, like, a week before he gets hurt.

Me: At least he'll get more playing time than Oscar Taveras this year.

Him: ....I have no comeback for that.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

I can't wait for Dolan to bust out the completely inappropriate Oscar Taveras jokes during the playoffs. I'm serious. It's going to be great.

But will you be able to stomach it?

[Slaky]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

I can't wait for Dolan to bust out the completely inappropriate Oscar Taveras jokes during the playoffs. I'm serious. It's going to be great.

But will you be able to stomach it?

I've managed to heal since the day of the murder.

[SKO]

Scary that with 40 games left he def could reach those #'s.

Next season someone else will pay him a lot more than the 2.5 mildo he's getting now.

Good for him.

He's not a free agent, I'm quite sure they can afford whatever he's due in arbitration, and they don't have long term answers right now at second (unless Javy blows them away this September) or left (assuming Schwarber will eventually move to catcher or at least play it part time next year), so why exactly are they getting rid of Coghlan?

A buddy of mine is a Cardinals fan and he's never been more sure of any player winding up on the Cardinals than Chris Coghlan. It won't be next year, but I can totally see it at some point.

If he goes to the Cardinals as a free agent in 2017 he'd be 32 years old. And he'd hit 35 homers.

What do they need him for when they can invent these KKK members in their lab and have them do nothing but get extra base hits. Stephen Piscotty? Randal Grichuk? Fuck off.

Randall Grichuk AA OPS: .780, AAA OPS: .805. Then he fucking lights up the world with an .894 OPS this year in the majors, and I had to sit here and listen to dipshit Cardinals fans bemoan "that Kris Bryant getting blowjobs from ESPN while Grichuk is better than him at everything."

Was so glad that fucker got hurt so now I can hear how Piscotty is better than all of the Cubs rookies combined and also Oscar Taveras would have been, too, were it not for his tragic and completely unavoidable death.

I can't wait for Dolan to bust out the completely inappropriate Oscar Taveras jokes during the playoffs. I'm serious. It's going to be great.

But will you be able to stomach it?

To be fair, I believe that was before the news came out that he was drunk and got his girlfriend killed as well. Although we probably should have assumed, him being a Cardinal and all.