PenisWrong's Humblebrag Thread

[Saul Goodman]

I once met Troy Glaus without knowing he was Troy Glaus which quite displeased Troy Glaus.

[Bort]

I once met Troy Glaus without knowing he was Troy Glaus which quite displeased Troy Glaus.

I had the same experience with Olympia Dukakis, except she was fairly nice.

[Tonker]

I once met Troy Glaus without knowing he was Troy Glaus which quite displeased Troy Glaus.

I had the same experience with Olympia Dukakis, except she was fairly nice.

I had the same experience with Roald Dahl, and although at the time I thought he was all right about it, with hindsight I realise that he found it quite hurtful.  He did sign a copy of "James and the Giant Peach" for us, though.  And then my brother, unbeknownst to me, put it back on the shelf in the bookshop and left.  Jesus fucking Christ.

EDIT: It's all coming back to me, now.  It wasn't our not recognising him that pissed him off, it was the fact that I also asked him to sign a second-hand copy of this.  That might actually be worse than getting him to sign JATGP before putting it back.

[Tonker]

As a teenager living in the Netherlands, I won the Dutch National orienteering championship for the under fifteen age group.  Because it wasn't an open competition, though, and I'm not Dutch*, they didn't give the trophy to me, but rather to the kid who came second**.

* Have at it.
** In the interests of full disclosure, there were only two of us in the age group, and the other kid got comprehensively lost.  Still, he has a fucking trophy in his bedroom, and I don't.  I hope it embarrasses him every time he looks at it, the Dutch cunt.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I've been to 12 Blackhawks playoff games in the Toews/Kane/Keith era and have seen them go 11-1 (only loss, Game 1 in first round 2010 vs. Nashville).

[Oleg]

I've been to 12 Blackhawks playoff games in the Toews/Kane/Keith era and have seen them go 11-1 (only loss, Game 1 in first round 2010 vs. Nashville).

Which hats were you wearing?

[Eli]

I don't think this thread title is really accurate -- there wasn't anything "humble" about Pen's initial brag.

#RIPHarris

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I've been to 12 Blackhawks playoff games in the Toews/Kane/Keith era and have seen them go 11-1 (only loss, Game 1 in first round 2010 vs. Nashville).

Which hats were you wearing?

I was the one who came up with the team idea!  Me!

[Saul Goodman]

I don't think this thread title is really accurate -- there wasn't anything "humble" about Pen's initial brag.

#RIPHarris

The key word in the title is Wrong.

[CBStew]

As a teenager living in the Netherlands, I won the Dutch National orienteering championship for the under fifteen age group.  Because it wasn't an open competition, though, and I'm not Dutch*, they didn't give the trophy to me, but rather to the kid who came second**.

* Have at it.
** In the interests of full disclosure, there were only two of us in the age group, and the other kid got comprehensively lost.  Still, he has a fucking trophy in his bedroom, and I don't.  I hope it embarrasses him every time he looks at it, the Dutch cunt.

When I was in my 40's I entered a YMCA 5k race.  I not only came in first, I was around 4 minutes ahead of the 2nd place finisher.  I wasn't that fast, it was about a seven and a half minute pace, but everyone else was pathetically slow.  When it came time to hand out the ribbons (around a half hour after I finished, everyone looked at me as though I was a course cutting Rosie Ruiz.

[Eli]

I went to the toilet this morning to relieve myself of built-up overnight gas, and promptly farted for - no exaggeration - twenty seconds without pause.  Just take a moment to count out twenty seconds, now, the better to appreciate my achievement.  By the time I reached, probably, twelve seconds or so I was Muttleying so hard that I nearly fell off the bog.  At the end of my titanic achievement, I stumbled, tears still rolling down my face, back into the bedroom and asked my wife to get Norris McWhirter on the phone so that I could report my new World Record.  She was not amused.  I think I might have married the wrong woman.

[PenFoe]

Back when I used to summer in Maine with Jordanian royalty, I owned a bunch of Garfield books.

Stephen King's son Owen went to that camp also. I don't think he's involved with FIFA though.

[PenFoe]

Also, I once got high with Vanilla Ice.

In Cleveland.



This one may actually belong in the other thread. 

[Quality Start Machine]

I was only able to get 6 reps at 225 on the flat bench this morning.

[Yeti]

I played in a foursome with Illini great Mike Tisdale yesterday