PenisWrong's Humblebrag Thread

[InternetApex]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

[Slaky]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

Apex is right.

[Yeti]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

Apex is right.

My bad. Though, if I bogey'd the last four holes of Cog Hill, I'd be ecstatic

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

I played on a park district basketball team during my freshman year in high school that was so bad that in our first game we actually lost 112-26 (or something like that, they definitely went over the century mark).  The referee, a former All-State hoopster in Illinois who was home from college by the name of Dave Otto tried giving us every call in the second half but there was no way we were going to make the score respectable.

(Is that better?)

[InternetApex]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

I played on a park district basketball team during my freshman year in high school that was so bad that in our first game we actually lost 112-26 (or something like that, they definitely went over the century mark).  The referee, a former All-State hoopster in Illinois who was home from college by the name of Dave Otto tried giving us every call in the second half but there was no way we were going to make the score respectable.

(Is that better?)

A little bit. It's actually a decent story and not really bragging. Depending on how you feel about Dave Otto (I like him) it could go in the I admit it thread without issue.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

I played on a park district basketball team during my freshman year in high school that was so bad that in our first game we actually lost 112-26 (or something like that, they definitely went over the century mark).  The referee, a former All-State hoopster in Illinois who was home from college by the name of Dave Otto tried giving us every call in the second half but there was no way we were going to make the score respectable.

(Is that better?)

It's actually a decent story and not really bragging.

Okay we're only on Page 2.  New threads are a rarity around here.  I'm committed to making this a Quality Thread by the time it reaches Page 4.

[InternetApex]

Fuck sake you guys have a clear lack of understanding about what a humblebrag is.

Not like this:
I played golf with Mike Tisdale yesterday.

Like this:
I bogey'd the last four holes of my round yesterday at Cog Hill, which caused my playing partner, Illini great Mike Tisdale to have a hard belly laugh at my expense. In the clubhouse afterward, while I was blowing him...

I played on a park district basketball team during my freshman year in high school that was so bad that in our first game we actually lost 112-26 (or something like that, they definitely went over the century mark).  The referee, a former All-State hoopster in Illinois who was home from college by the name of Dave Otto tried giving us every call in the second half but there was no way we were going to make the score respectable.

(Is that better?)

It's actually a decent story and not really bragging.

Okay we're only on Page 2.  New threads are a rarity around here.  I'm committed to making this a Quality Thread by the time it reaches Page 4.

I recall a Chuck Story a few years past when he bemoaned the fact that he had to watch a partial birth abortion of a Cubs game in the centerfield lounge during a work day. He even threw the word "premium" liquor in there. I feel like he can help us here.

[InternetApex]

My softball team is so bad, my solo home run, in which I had to do a perfect Dexter Fowler slide around the tag at home plate was the lone run we tallied against the damn Lemons.

Like so.

[Quality Start Machine]

My softball team is so bad, my solo home run, in which I had to do a perfect Dexter Fowler slide around the tag at home plate was the lone run we tallied against the damn Lemons.

Like so.

My softball team is so bad that the biggest bat in the lineup belongs to a fat 52 year old.

That'll do it.

[InternetApex]

My softball team is so bad, my solo home run, in which I had to do a perfect Dexter Fowler slide around the tag at home plate was the lone run we tallied against the damn Lemons.

Like so.

My softball team is so bad that the biggest bat in the lineup belongs to a fat 52 year old.

That'll do it.

Golf clap.

[SKO]

What about 552 followers, Pex? And what if one of them is apparently Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista, blue checkmark and all?

Seriously guys why the fuck does Jose Bautista follow me on twitter? Does he hate David Ross?

[Slaky]

What about 552 followers, Pex? And what if one of them is apparently Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista, blue checkmark and all?

Seriously guys why the fuck does Jose Bautista follow me on twitter? Does he hate David Ross?

He follows a million people. Don't get too excited.

[SKO]

What about 552 followers, Pex? And what if one of them is apparently Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista, blue checkmark and all?

Seriously guys why the fuck does Jose Bautista follow me on twitter? Does he hate David Ross?

He follows a million people. Don't get too excited.

I'm not, I'm just legitimately baffled. I've never tweeted at or about him so I have no idea why he would have followed me even as part of a mass following spree. This isn't like being followed by THE Glendon Rusch, of which I am extremely proud.

Morrissey also follows me, Huey, but I think it's so he can favorite I every tweet I ever insult him with in an act of supreme trolling. It's patronizing and I hate him all the more for it.

[Slaky]

What about 552 followers, Pex? And what if one of them is apparently Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista, blue checkmark and all?

Seriously guys why the fuck does Jose Bautista follow me on twitter? Does he hate David Ross?

He follows a million people. Don't get too excited.

I'm not, I'm just legitimately baffled. I've never tweeted at or about him so I have no idea why he would have followed me even as part of a mass following spree. This isn't like being followed by THE Glendon Rusch, of which I am extremely proud.

Morrissey also follows me, Huey, but I think it's so he can favorite I every tweet I ever insult him with in an act of supreme trolling. It's patronizing and I hate him all the more for it.

Morrissey follows all of us, I think. I never followed back. If I found out Telander followed me I'd straight up block his ass.

[SKO]

What about 552 followers, Pex? And what if one of them is apparently Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista, blue checkmark and all?

Seriously guys why the fuck does Jose Bautista follow me on twitter? Does he hate David Ross?

He follows a million people. Don't get too excited.

I'm not, I'm just legitimately baffled. I've never tweeted at or about him so I have no idea why he would have followed me even as part of a mass following spree. This isn't like being followed by THE Glendon Rusch, of which I am extremely proud.

Morrissey also follows me, Huey, but I think it's so he can favorite I every tweet I ever insult him with in an act of supreme trolling. It's patronizing and I hate him all the more for it.

Morrissey follows all of us, I think. I never followed back. If I found out Telander followed me I'd straight up block his ass.

Morrissey is, I think, an actually amusing human being if you can just accept a troll. Unlike Telander and Wittenmyer he's self-aware, he knows he's doing it, and he laughs at the people who catch on. Ever since I realized that I don't even bother actually insulting him. He's in on the joke.