The CRISP RYAN and KAILSCH WORBA-approved 2015 Draft Jepstein splooge thread

[Tonker]

So, when do the Cubs start to draft a pitching staff to go with their stable full of studs?

Personally, I HOPE DEY SIGN DAT NINTENDO GUY MY FRENTS.

[Eli]

This thread title just gave me a seizure.

[SKO]

This thread title just gave me a seizure.

For a second I thought someone was starting a really weird and belated Ryan Kalish splooge thread in awful meatballese.

[Quality Start Machine]

This thread title just gave me a seizure.

It looked like one of the chain emails my mother forwards to me.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

This thread title just gave me a seizure.

For a second I thought someone was starting a really weird and belated Ryan Kalish splooge thread in awful meatballese.

Same.

[PenFoe]

I'm all in on Benintendi too, but I'm pretty much excited for all these guys (surprise, surprise.) 

I don't want Aiken, but if they take him, I will do the quickest 180 in history on that, because it'll mean they like what they saw from his medicals (to whatever extent they were able to really access them) and think he'll be ready to contribute in less than a million years.

[Tonker]

I'm all in on Benintendi too, but I'm pretty much excited for all these guys (surprise, surprise.) 

I don't want Aiken, but if they take him, I will do the quickest 180 in history on that, because it'll mean they like what they saw from his medicals (to whatever extent they were able to really access them) and think he'll be ready to contribute in less than a million years.

So you mean you do want Aiken, unless you don't?

[R-V]

Is there any chance Tyler Jay falls to them at 9? I ask because (a) I'm a homer douche who thinks it would be kind of cool to have one of those twice-a-decade or so moments where it's actually fun to be an Illini fan and (b) given his COLLEGE POLISH he could probably contribute to the big league bullpen this year, no? Now that CJ Edwards went and changed his pitching hand on us, wouldn't hurt to have a nasty lefty in the pen.

[PenFoe]

I'm all in on Benintendi too, but I'm pretty much excited for all these guys (surprise, surprise.) 

I don't want Aiken, but if they take him, I will do the quickest 180 in history on that, because it'll mean they like what they saw from his medicals (to whatever extent they were able to really access them) and think he'll be ready to contribute in less than a million years.

So you mean you do want Aiken, unless you don't?

No, I mean I don't want Aiken, unless I do.  

[PenFoe]

Is there any chance Tyler Jay falls to them at 9? I ask because (a) I'm a homer douche who thinks it would be kind of cool to have one of those twice-a-decade or so moments where it's actually fun to be an Illini fan and (b) given his COLLEGE POLISH he could probably contribute to the big league bullpen this year, no? Now that CJ Edwards went and changed his pitching hand on us, wouldn't hurt to have a nasty lefty in the pen.

One of the mocks I read (Keith Law's? Not sure) had Jay falling to them, but it's the only one I've seen that did out of probably 10-12. 

[PenFoe]

This really is a terrible thread title though. 

[Tonker]

This really is a terrible thread title though. 

Thank you.  It takes skill to craft something quite that minging, you know.

[PenFoe]

Is there any chance Tyler Jay falls to them at 9? I ask because (a) I'm a homer douche who thinks it would be kind of cool to have one of those twice-a-decade or so moments where it's actually fun to be an Illini fan and (b) given his COLLEGE POLISH he could probably contribute to the big league bullpen this year, no? Now that CJ Edwards went and changed his pitching hand on us, wouldn't hurt to have a nasty lefty in the pen.

One of the mocks I read (Keith Law's? Not sure) had Jay falling to them, but it's the only one I've seen that did out of probably 10-12. 

Pretty much all the others have him going to the Rockies at 3 or the Twins at 6.

[Eli]

I'm all in on Benintendi too, but I'm pretty much excited for all these guys (surprise, surprise.) 

I don't want Aiken, but if they take him, I will do the quickest 180 in history on that, because it'll mean they like what they saw from his medicals (to whatever extent they were able to really access them) and think he'll be ready to contribute in less than a million years.

This is amusing, because Aiken is the only guy they could potentially get at 9 who should be immediately* exciting. Everyone else has enough question marks where the proper course of action should be to just WASHIPO.

* Meaning, exciting to follow his box scores at Eugene this year.

[SKO]

Oh man I finally just realized what the hell this thread title actually is trying to say and no, no. BAD TONK. BAD.