The Jason Hammel Defenestration Thread

[SKO]

Why should Snork have all the fun?

Does this turd even throw fucking warm-up pitches or what?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why should Snork have all the fun?

Does this turd even throw fucking warm-up pitches or what?

Better not let Tonker catch you bad-mouthing Hammel.

[InternetApex]

This is a bit overdrawn.

[SKO]

DIE. DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU STUPID WORTHLESS WHINY PIECE OF SHIT MEATBALL THROWING FUCKING TURD. ELEVEN DAYS REST AND YOU CAN'T WORK IN A WARMUP TOSS OR SOMETHING TO AVOID GIVING UP A BOMB YET AGAIN IN THE FIRST FUCKING INNING. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU DO YOUR JOB FOR ONE FUCKING DAY IN FOUR MONTHS. FUCK YOU YOU GARBAGE PIECE OF SHIT

[Oleg]

DIE. DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU STUPID WORTHLESS WHINY PIECE OF SHIT MEATBALL THROWING FUCKING TURD. ELEVEN DAYS REST AND YOU CAN'T WORK IN A WARMUP TOSS OR SOMETHING TO AVOID GIVING UP A BOMB YET AGAIN IN THE FIRST FUCKING INNING. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU DO YOUR JOB FOR ONE FUCKING DAY IN FOUR MONTHS. FUCK YOU YOU GARBAGE PIECE OF SHIT

I'm assuming this is just a warm-up for you.  Or, a great impersonation of a BFIB tweet.

[Saul Goodman]

DIE. DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU STUPID WORTHLESS WHINY PIECE OF SHIT MEATBALL THROWING FUCKING TURD. ELEVEN DAYS REST AND YOU CAN'T WORK IN A WARMUP TOSS OR SOMETHING TO AVOID GIVING UP A BOMB YET AGAIN IN THE FIRST FUCKING INNING. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU DO YOUR JOB FOR ONE FUCKING DAY IN FOUR MONTHS. FUCK YOU YOU GARBAGE PIECE OF SHIT

I'm assuming this is just a warm-up for you.  Or, a great impersonation of a BFIB tweet.

I wouldn't say great. Needs more homophobia to meet BFIB standards.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

DIE. DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU STUPID WORTHLESS WHINY PIECE OF SHIT MEATBALL THROWING FUCKING TURD. ELEVEN DAYS REST AND YOU CAN'T WORK IN A WARMUP TOSS OR SOMETHING TO AVOID GIVING UP A BOMB YET AGAIN IN THE FIRST FUCKING INNING. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU DO YOUR JOB FOR ONE FUCKING DAY IN FOUR MONTHS. FUCK YOU YOU GARBAGE PIECE OF SHIT

I'm assuming this is just a warm-up for you.  Or, a great impersonation of a BFIB tweet.

Warm-up.

If Hammel has another first inning meltdown I'll go full meatball to the point that Huey's DeRosa rant will seem tame. I will never want to see that stupid fucker in a Cub uniform again.

Stupid cuaker.

[SKO]

He's not far from me wishing he signs with St. Louis to magically fix his numbers throwing to the Greatest Catcher Ever before he glug glugs his way into the back of a tow truck.

[Canadouche]

JASON HAMMEL YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH, WAY TO SET THE TABLE FOR THAT THREE RUN HOMER!

[PenFoe]

JASON HAMMEL YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH, WAY TO SET THE TABLE FOR THAT THREE RUN HOMER!

That single was a thing of goddamn glory.

For that moment, he totally redeemed himself in my book (regardless of the net -1 that was still in play right then.)

[Eli]

But really, what happened to him? Was he just extraordinarily lucky to start this year and it was all a mirage? I assume that they would have been able to pinpoint and fix a mechanical issue by this point, especially with all of the time off he's had. Maybe he truly isn't able to throw more than 100 or so good innings in a year before he wears down.

Like others have said, I'd almost feel better with Haren starting and giving them a decent 4-5 innings before handing it over to the bullpen.

[SKO]

But really, what happened to him? Was he just extraordinarily lucky to start this year and it was all a mirage? I assume that they would have been able to pinpoint and fix a mechanical issue by this point, especially with all of the time off he's had. Maybe he truly isn't able to throw more than 100 or so good innings in a year before he wears down.

Like others have said, I'd almost feel better with Haren starting and giving them a decent 4-5 innings before handing it over to the bullpen.

I'm waiting for the season to end and the Cubs to reveal finally that he actually tore his hammy in July and has been playing with it ever since. Either way I hope they sign at least one reliable innings-eating Mike Leake type fellow along with whatever TOR starter they sign/trade for this offseason because I don't trust Hammel to even repeat this season's effort next year.

[Tonker]

But really, what happened to him? Was he just extraordinarily lucky to start this year and it was all a mirage? I assume that they would have been able to pinpoint and fix a mechanical issue by this point, especially with all of the time off he's had. Maybe he truly isn't able to throw more than 100 or so good innings in a year before he wears down.

Like others have said, I'd almost feel better with Haren starting and giving them a decent 4-5 innings before handing it over to the bullpen.

I'm waiting for the season to end and the Cubs to reveal finally that he actually tore his hammy in July and has been playing with it ever since. Either way I hope they sign at least one reliable innings-eating Mike Leake type fellow along with whatever TOR starter they sign/trade for this offseason because I don't trust Hammel to even repeat this season's effort next year.

Can Theo and Billy Beans not come to some arrangement whereby the Cubs get Hammel for the first half of every season, after which the A's hand over a couple of top prospects to rent him for the second half?

[Eli]

But really, what happened to him? Was he just extraordinarily lucky to start this year and it was all a mirage? I assume that they would have been able to pinpoint and fix a mechanical issue by this point, especially with all of the time off he's had. Maybe he truly isn't able to throw more than 100 or so good innings in a year before he wears down.

Like others have said, I'd almost feel better with Haren starting and giving them a decent 4-5 innings before handing it over to the bullpen.

I'm waiting for the season to end and the Cubs to reveal finally that he actually tore his hammy in July and has been playing with it ever since. Either way I hope they sign at least one reliable innings-eating Mike Leake type fellow along with whatever TOR starter they sign/trade for this offseason because I don't trust Hammel to even repeat this season's effort next year.

Can Theo and Billy Beans not come to some arrangement whereby the Cubs get Hammel for the first half of every season, after which the A's hand over a couple of top prospects to rent him for the second half?

According to this guy, that's not how things work:

https://twitter.com/chrisskreager/status/654035054843273216

[Slaky]

But really, what happened to him? Was he just extraordinarily lucky to start this year and it was all a mirage? I assume that they would have been able to pinpoint and fix a mechanical issue by this point, especially with all of the time off he's had. Maybe he truly isn't able to throw more than 100 or so good innings in a year before he wears down.

Like others have said, I'd almost feel better with Haren starting and giving them a decent 4-5 innings before handing it over to the bullpen.

I'm waiting for the season to end and the Cubs to reveal finally that he actually tore his hammy in July and has been playing with it ever since. Either way I hope they sign at least one reliable innings-eating Mike Leake type fellow along with whatever TOR starter they sign/trade for this offseason because I don't trust Hammel to even repeat this season's effort next year.

Can Theo and Billy Beans not come to some arrangement whereby the Cubs get Hammel for the first half of every season, after which the A's hand over a couple of top prospects to rent him for the second half?

According to this guy, that's not how things work:

https://twitter.com/chrisskreager/status/654035054843273216

What an incredible tweet. Eli is starting to reap the joy of bad and sincere replies.