Fuck the Pirates: Rivalry Thread

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I'm really glad we started hating this team.  That ass-kicking felt great.

[SKO]

I'm really glad we started hating this team.  That ass-kicking felt great.

I really could not muster any hatred for the Pirates after spending my entire life basically pitying that franchise, even as a Cubs fan, until 2015 happened. Pirates fans put Cardinals meatballs to shame, considering at least the Cardinals fans have been baseball meatballs their whole lives. Pirates fans are clearly just Steelers meatballs trying to fill some time between Penguins season and training camp, so their response to literally everything is A)Hurdle needs to yell at the team B)Hurdle needs to yell at the other team C)Hurdle needs to start ordering some Cubs to get hit.

Another frequent cry from that crowd is "where were all of these Cubs fans before 2015??" which is an amusing retort from a fanbase that played in an empty stadium for 20 years and still couldn't sell out when they did have a contending team for three years.

In general all opposing fans need to pick a lane on that one. Either Cubs fans were bandwagon folks who didn't show up till 2015 or we're idiots who only go to games to drink beer and hit on pretty girls and we'll show up no matter how bad the team is. You can't have both.

[Oleg]

I'm really glad we started hating this team.  That ass-kicking felt great.

I really could not muster any hatred for the Pirates after spending my entire life basically pitying that franchise, even as a Cubs fan, until 2015 happened. Pirates fans put Cardinals meatballs to shame, considering at least the Cardinals fans have been baseball meatballs their whole lives. Pirates fans are clearly just Steelers meatballs trying to fill some time between Penguins season and training camp, so their response to literally everything is A)Hurdle needs to yell at the team B)Hurdle needs to yell at the other team C)Hurdle needs to start ordering some Cubs to get hit.

Another frequent cry from that crowd is "where were all of these Cubs fans before 2015??" which is an amusing retort from a fanbase that played in an empty stadium for 20 years and still couldn't sell out when they did have a contending team for three years.

In general all opposing fans need to pick a lane on that one. Either Cubs fans were bandwagon folks who didn't show up till 2015 or we're idiots who only go to games to drink beer and hit on pretty girls and we'll show up no matter how bad the team is. You can't have both.

Third Option: Not giving a shit how other people label Cubs fans.  Also, something I don't quite understand, who gives a shit *when* someone became a fan.  I mean, it's fun to hear stories from TJ and Huey and Fork about the 70s and shit but I'll be damned if I can muster enough fucks to give to someone who wants to label me a bandwagoner just because I became a fan in '84.

[SKO]

I'm really glad we started hating this team.  That ass-kicking felt great.

I really could not muster any hatred for the Pirates after spending my entire life basically pitying that franchise, even as a Cubs fan, until 2015 happened. Pirates fans put Cardinals meatballs to shame, considering at least the Cardinals fans have been baseball meatballs their whole lives. Pirates fans are clearly just Steelers meatballs trying to fill some time between Penguins season and training camp, so their response to literally everything is A)Hurdle needs to yell at the team B)Hurdle needs to yell at the other team C)Hurdle needs to start ordering some Cubs to get hit.

Another frequent cry from that crowd is "where were all of these Cubs fans before 2015??" which is an amusing retort from a fanbase that played in an empty stadium for 20 years and still couldn't sell out when they did have a contending team for three years.

In general all opposing fans need to pick a lane on that one. Either Cubs fans were bandwagon folks who didn't show up till 2015 or we're idiots who only go to games to drink beer and hit on pretty girls and we'll show up no matter how bad the team is. You can't have both.

Third Option: Not giving a shit how other people label Cubs fans.  Also, something I don't quite understand, who gives a shit *when* someone became a fan.  I mean, it's fun to hear stories from TJ and Huey and Fork about the 70s and shit but I'll be damned if I can muster enough fucks to give to someone who wants to label me a bandwagoner just because I became a fan in '84.

To be clear I was just saying they need to pick a logical stereotype, because we can't all be bandwagoners who showed up in 2015 AND people who watched a losing team for years because Wrigley was fun.

I frankly don't care when anyone started rooting for the Cubs. If you didn't care to watch until they had a team worth watching, good for you. There was probably very little that was sane or healthy about the things we subjected ourselves to while watching this team in The Before Times. We like to think it made us tougher and better fans and probably made us all closer to each other as mutually scarred chuckleheads, but no one needs that baggage. It was fun as hell to be rewarded with a title for a lifetime of suffering, but my son was born into a world in which the Cubs have never been anything but awesome and my hope for him is that never changes.

[Brownie]

I'm really glad we started hating this team.  That ass-kicking felt great.

I really could not muster any hatred for the Pirates after spending my entire life basically pitying that franchise, even as a Cubs fan, until 2015 happened. Pirates fans put Cardinals meatballs to shame, considering at least the Cardinals fans have been baseball meatballs their whole lives. Pirates fans are clearly just Steelers meatballs trying to fill some time between Penguins season and training camp, so their response to literally everything is A)Hurdle needs to yell at the team B)Hurdle needs to yell at the other team C)Hurdle needs to start ordering some Cubs to get hit.

Another frequent cry from that crowd is "where were all of these Cubs fans before 2015??" which is an amusing retort from a fanbase that played in an empty stadium for 20 years and still couldn't sell out when they did have a contending team for three years.

In general all opposing fans need to pick a lane on that one. Either Cubs fans were bandwagon folks who didn't show up till 2015 or we're idiots who only go to games to drink beer and hit on pretty girls and we'll show up no matter how bad the team is. You can't have both.

Third Option: Not giving a shit how other people label Cubs fans.  Also, something I don't quite understand, who gives a shit *when* someone became a fan.  I mean, it's fun to hear stories from TJ and Huey and Fork about the 70s and shit but I'll be damned if I can muster enough fucks to give to someone who wants to label me a bandwagoner just because I became a fan in '84.

That's all fair, but I admit I was a little annoyed when my 6-year-old son and his friends told me how great it was the Cubs won the World Series because those entitled brats had been waiting their "entire lives" for this. All the way back to the Theodore Roosevelt Lilly IV era!

[Oleg]

I just want to positive the last two comments with my full BONERTIME...I think. Or something.

[Brownie]

I just want to positive the last two comments with my full BONERTIME...I think. Or something.

Let's quickly point out again where it's helpful to be aware of what other fans think. Morph's Peoria Heritage comes with the unfortunate experience of having to befriend several Cardinals fans. (I'm sure Yeti has the same problem). When Morph posted Champ Summers photo on social media yesterday, his acquaintances who are Cardinal fans got all bent out of shape that Jeremy should act like he's been there before. (I think he has been there, as in being a fan of a team contending for a division title in late August in 1984, 1989, 1995, 1998, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2015, 2016 and now.) The joyless pissant response is more delicious than a Porterhouse cooked medium rare with a tasteful Cabernet Sauvignon.

Every time the Cubs win a game, a little more of those people's souls die, their already-blackened hearts go numb, and that makes me feel good in a satisfying way.