2015 NLDS Games Thread: Eat Shit, St. Louis

[Armchair_QB]

The thing where Tommy Pham, Stephen Piscotty, and Randal Grichuk are the entire Cardinal offense is making me itch something fierce.

I hate these three guys more than anyone on their team mostly because they're the guys Cardinal fans whine about never getting enough respect in comparison to Kris Bryant.

Tommy Pham and Kolten Wong look like the latest members of the Cardinals' medicine cabinet club so fuck them.

And fuck Piscotty just because.

[InternetApex]

The thing where Tommy Pham, Stephen Piscotty, and Randal Grichuk are the entire Cardinal offense is making me itch something fierce.

I hate these three guys more than anyone on their team mostly because they're the guys Cardinal fans whine about never getting enough respect in comparison to Kris Bryant.

Tommy Pham and Kolten Wong look like the latest members of the Cardinals' medicine cabinet club so fuck them.

And fuck Piscotty just because.

I'm sure the Cubs have a fully-stocked medicine cabinet as well. Don't kid yourself. I rather enjoyed the broadcast team talking about Adam Wainwrong's speedy return from a torn achilles. No mention of miracles or toughness... just the plain facts. That's a 6-12 month injury for most people to begin walking without a boot. And here's Wainwright, pitching in the playoffs 5 months after the tear. It was beautifully awkward. But I'm not mad at Wainwright for that, nor would I be mad if I found out Soler had been getting a little help with his ankle/lats in order to destroy shower doors all over Cubdom in record time.

[Saul Goodman]

The thing where Tommy Pham, Stephen Piscotty, and Randal Grichuk are the entire Cardinal offense is making me itch something fierce.

I hate these three guys more than anyone on their team mostly because they're the guys Cardinal fans whine about never getting enough respect in comparison to Kris Bryant.

Tommy Pham and Kolten Wong look like the latest members of the Cardinals' medicine cabinet club so fuck them.

And fuck Piscotty just because.

I saw Tommy Pham in single A and he sucked, and had sucked at every level before that. Judging from his minor league stats he started getting his doses in 2010. HGH is a helluva drug.

I want Jake to curtain call every single strikeout, of which I pray there are many, today. (He actually might.)

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's get nasty.

[SKO]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

[Eli]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

[SKO]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

That's where I am at. Jake vs Wacha seems like such a no brainer I've naturally managed to overthink it. Save us, Jake. Put our stupid fucking scars to bed.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

At this point, I'd like the Cubs' chances if Jake was facing 9 Babe Ruths.

[PenFoe]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

That's where I am at. Jake vs Wacha seems like such a no brainer I've naturally managed to overthink it. Save us, Jake. Put our stupid fucking scars to bed.

I'm here too, and getting nervous about it.

I already said things like "Jake wins tonight, and then we just have to win one of two, should be easy." 

I can't believe I've gotten to the point, as a Cubs fan, that this feels like a foregone conclusion, because that is stupid as all hell.

[Eli]

I can't believe I've gotten to the point, as a Cubs fan, that this feels like a foregone conclusion, because that is stupid as all hell.

It is. What's the most sure split you could have for the outcome of a single MLB game? Maybe 60/40? 65/35, in a really extreme scenario (which this isn't, because the Cardinals are still a 100-win team)? Maybe ChuckD knows this.

Just trying to talk myself back down into the right kind of nervousness for today.

[Brownie]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

At this point, I'd like the Cubs' chances if Jake was facing 9 Babe Ruths.

Nine dead guys? There is time, and there's certainly enough liquor and tow trucks in Cook County.

[Slaky]

I can't believe I've gotten to the point, as a Cubs fan, that this feels like a foregone conclusion, because that is stupid as all hell.

It is. What's the most sure split you could have for the outcome of a single MLB game? Maybe 60/40? 65/35, in a really extreme scenario (which this isn't, because the Cardinals are still a 100-win team)? Maybe ChuckD knows this.

Just trying to talk myself back down into the right kind of nervousness for today.

Glad it's not just me.

I've gone from "we got this" to "the wind is howling out and Jake's going to give up 4 homers"

[InternetApex]

I'm just confident that no matter what happens, this is probably going to be the worst Cubs team out of the next 10. So eat them alive, Jake. Or don't. You'll get several more red hot cracks at it either way!

[InternetApex]

DPD:

In reality, I'm terrified.

Hold me.

[Eli]

I'm just confident that no matter what happens, this is probably going to be the worst Cubs team out of the next 10. So eat them alive, Jake. Or don't. You'll get several more red hot cracks at it either way!

Eh. Good effort, but maybe a little too on-the-nose.