2015 NLDS Games Thread: Eat Shit, St. Louis

[Oleg]

I can't believe I've gotten to the point, as a Cubs fan, that this feels like a foregone conclusion, because that is stupid as all hell.

It is. What's the most sure split you could have for the outcome of a single MLB game? Maybe 60/40? 65/35, in a really extreme scenario (which this isn't, because the Cardinals are still a 100-win team)? Maybe ChuckD knows this.

Just trying to talk myself back down into the right kind of nervousness for today.

PECOTA is at 58/42 in favor of The Cubs.

Also, this seems about right. That's an enormous advantage for one game. But there are still a lot of outcomes in there that suck.

ANYWAYS. Go Jake. And the offense, too. Both of you. Go.

Vegas had The Cubs at -220 earlier today, too.

[InternetApex]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

I laughed.

I laughed too. Kurt 2.1 might have its uses.

[PenFoe]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

Cool story, bro.

[PenFoe]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

Cool story, bro.

They're not called PenStories for nothing.

[Saul Goodman]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

Cool story, bro.

They're not called PenStories for nothing.

I laughed though, so this PenStory is cool by me.

[Saul Goodman]

Joe's tabbing Jason Hammel to start Game 4. A chance to RIGHT THE WRONG. Don't fuck it up, Jason.

[Tony]

Let's get nasty.

This is the ideal lineup, right? Have we even seen it yet this year?

And I've convinced myself tonight is going to be a disaster. I got a text from a Cardinal fan friend yesterday that was basically conceding the game, and it's fucking with my head.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's get nasty.

Fowler/Soler/Bryant/Rizzo/Castro are a combined 27-64 (.422) vs Wacha with 6 HR, 3 2B, 1 3B, 5 BB.

Jake's ERA vs the Cardinals is 1.63. Things are almost looking too favorable. Maybe I should put that in the I admit it thread.

I'm so confident about this matchup that I've become nervous about being so confident.

At this point, I'd like the Cubs' chances if Jake was facing 9 Babe Ruths.

Nine dead guys? There is time, and there's certainly enough liquor and tow trucks in Cook County.

You and I have both seen plenty of pitchers in Cub uniforms who couldn't beat 9 cadavers.

[Quality Start Machine]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

I malorted a guy from Saskatoon who is both a former CFL player and Keith Magnuson's nephew.

It was awesome.

[Oleg]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

I malorted a guy from Saskatoon who is both a former CFL player and Keith Magnuson's nephew.

It was awesome.

My new employer is headquartered in Toronto.  I get to go there in January.  Fucking January in Toronto.  Yay for me.

[Canadouche]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

I malorted a guy from Saskatoon who is both a former CFL player and Keith Magnuson's nephew.

It was awesome.

My new employer is headquartered in Toronto.  I get to go there in January.  Fucking January in Toronto.  Yay for me.

I'm sorry. No, seriously. But let me know when you're in town, and I'll recommend a) a place where you can legally buy weed and b) a good place to eat once you're stoned.

[PenFoe]

Does anyone else feel bad that we apparently shellshocked Kurt so badly that he basically preemptively apologizes every time he posts, after being in exile for years?

I feel kinda bad about it.

Is "fuck you" the appropriate response? If it's not, I'm really sorry. Hmm. Not going to post this. Gotta hit the delete button. Shit.

In seriousness, it's partly that I don't want to piss everybody off, but partly that I am continuing in my Canadianization. I take the citizenship test in about a week. If they find out I've been saying things without pre-emptively apologizing, then I could automatically fail.

True story - I have this Canadian client, lives in Saskatoon. 

He's wildly inappropriate and will call me and we'll have the following conversation:

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe (save the dumb joke, Fork)
Client: Hey - what's the difference between a bonus and a penis? 
Me: Hey, Andy. 
Client: Your wife won't blow your penis.
Me: I'll talk to you soon. 

*hangs up*
....
....
....
(5 minutes pass)

*phone rings*
Me: Hello, this is PenFoe
Client: Sorry about that joke. 
*hangs up*

This has happened no less than 5 times (with different variations on the joke or comment.)

I malorted a guy from Saskatoon who is both a former CFL player and Keith Magnuson's nephew.

It was awesome.

My new employer is headquartered in Toronto.  I get to go there in January.  Fucking January in Toronto.  Yay for me.

I'm sorry. No, seriously. But let me know when you're in town, and I'll recommend a) a place where you can legally buy weed and b) a good place to eat once you're stoned.

Kind of like anywhere in Colorado, but Oleg left.

[Bort]

I want to second the "feeling so positive about this game that I'm nervously overthinking it back to negativity" sentiment.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I want to second the "feeling so positive about this game that I'm nervously overthinking it back to negativity" sentiment.

Me three.