2015 NLCS Thread: Chicago Cubs vs. New York Mets

[SKO]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

[Oleg]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

It probably means we see Johnny Buckets on the NLCS roster?

[SKO]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

It probably means we see Johnny Buckets on the NLCS roster?

I doubt it. I'd add another pitcher. Javy and Starlin can both play short and second and La Stella and Coghlan can play 2B. Really don't think another middle infielder is necessary.

[Eli]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

It probably means we see Johnny Buckets on the NLCS roster?

He's pure mascot now. I think he's batted 2 times since August.

[Oleg]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

It probably means we see Johnny Buckets on the NLCS roster?

He's pure mascot now. I think he's batted 2 times since August.

Somehow, I forget that LaStella is an actual Cubs and everything.  My bad.

[Saul Goodman]

This hurts depth but I can't see it mattering that much in a short series, agree that Russell is a more fundamentally sound defensive SS although Javy is certainly capable of some amazing plays. Javy's bat is probably better right now, and lord knows whatever hits he does get will be ones that count for something.

It probably means we see Johnny Buckets on the NLCS roster?

He's pure mascot now. I think he's batted 2 times since August.

Somehow, I forget that LaStella is an actual Cubs and everything.  My bad.

It's an injury replacement so I say fuck it, call up Gleyber Torres and make them never want to hear the words Cubs prospect ever again.

[ChuckD]

1 typo.  ONE fucking typo in that heartfelt post.  

I've never felt more like Leon Durham.

SQDPD

Actually I flat-out dropped the 3rd out in the 5th inning of what was to be Codys' first playoff victory ever, allowing the tying run to score, on a perfectly hard throw from Slaky from third base, after having a nearly flawless season playing 1st for several years.  My team (and myself) thankfully picked me up the next time we batted--and we won handily-- but I would have to say I never felt more like Leon Durham at that point.

You know, when the Cubs win this whole fucking thing, whether this year or at some point in the very near future, I hope they bring guys like Durham and Gonzalez back so they get the appreciation they deserve instead of being remembered for an error at a horrible time.

What fucking appreciation does Alex Gonzalez deserve? He was worth a whopping 2.1 fWAR in 2 1/2 seasons as a Cub and he botched a double play ball to send them to the fucking world series. I don't care if they win 10 titles, he deserves nothing but scorn forever.

Durham seems like a cool dude who deserved better, though.

Well, he was worth 1.6 fWAR in 2003. Considering they edged out the Astros by a game to make the postseason, you could argue that he was the difference between not going to the postseason at all. He slugged .679 in the NLCS, too. I don't really care if they invite him back or not, but to say he "deserves nothing by scorn forever" because of one bad play is just ignorant.

But, please, continue with your caricaturesque meatball haterage shtick.

Seriously? We're going to do this? He was worth 1.6 fWAR over an entire season, which is barely even average at best, and you want to say "without him they couldn't have made the postseason?" Perhaps they could have found another shortstop, who knows, but it's not like the alternative was literally not playing somebody.

I agree that was a very un-ChuckD point.

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

[SKO]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

[ChuckD]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

[SKO]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

[Quality Start Machine]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

Next topic: Cub Legend Nomar Garciaparra.

[ChuckD]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

Fact: The Scornucopia is the best of all holiday centerpieces.

[flannj]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

Fact: The Scornucopia is the best of all holiday centerpieces.

Not the Scorn of Plenty?

[SKO]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

Fact: The Scornucopia is the best of all holiday centerpieces.

Not the Scorn of Plenty?

I'm partial to the menscornah, which we light every winter in memory of the time we kept the Snork firebarn burning for years despite a seeming lack of fuel, until the day came when all of our most fervent rage was rewarded a thousand times over. It was a true Scornukkah miracle.

[Chuck to Chuck]

You're right, I could've phrased that better. I'm not making the argument that the guy was statistically a great Cub. Only that he did have some non-negligible contributions to the '03 team.

My favorite Cub is Andre Dawson. Statistically, he wasn't actually that good as a Cub by the time I was old enough to watch/comprehend. But he gave me some great memories so, yeah, there's a non-quantifiable/nostalgia component to weighing whether a player should get scorn/adulation.

Gonzalez was a dependable (lol, right?) defender and happened to hit some home runs in huge spots that year. And yeah, maybe they could have gotten a better shortstop. But ... they didn't. They got Lofton, Ramirez, and Simon and all three were the tits and helped the team to win the division. Nothing happens in a vacuum, so if they upgraded at SS, maybe Hendry doesn't end up making those moves with Pittsburgh and we don't outpace the Astros in 2003 and we don't have Aramis at third for the rest of the decade.

He hit the walkoff dongs during the season that Huey mentioned and I remember watching him hit the CLUTCH home run in Game 5 of the NLDS that ended up being the game winner -- those gave me a lot of joy so that stuff gets accounted for when I tally up how I feel about a guy. Yeah, he booted a gimme at a clutch moment. So what? It was twelve years ago.

I get that the thing for SKO (and some others) is to hate every single thing that's within sniffing distance of a firebarn.  You guys are entitled to that.  But I'll still think you're all redasses for doing so. Anyway. As you were.

Go Cubs.
[/Sincerity]

I love as strongly as I hate, though, and while I remember all the same home runs you do it's still no less meatball to say YEA BUT HIS HOMERS CAME AT DA WRITE TIME than it is to hate him 12 years later for a major fuck up. I will love Randall Simon and Kenny Lofton forever. I never allowed an 0-6 playoff record to taint Derrek Lee or Soriano or even Mark DeRosa. There's not enough good in the Gonzalez ledger to outweigh the bad (and the bad includes him putting up a fucking 83 OPS+ over 2 1/2 seasons, not just one booted groundball) for me. If that makes me an ignorant red-ass, so be it, but I don't see how it's any less logical than you citing a few clutch hits as reason not to hate the guy.

Maybe you're misunderstanding. When I say I don't hate the guy, I'm not saying I love the guy.

I just don't give a shit about him and don't see why he should be crucified in your SCORNFIELD.

Anyway, this is more time invested in considering Alex Gonzalez than is merited. Merry Scornsgiving to you.

Scornsgiving is a lousy secular construction my people don't care for. Now is the holy time of Rosh Hoscornah.

Fact: The Scornucopia is the best of all holiday centerpieces.

Not the Scorn of Plenty?

I'm partial to the menscornah, which we light every winter in memory of the time we kept the Snork firebarn burning for years despite a seeming lack of fuel, until the day came when all of our most fervent rage was rewarded a thousand times over. It was a true Scornukkah miracle.

We just hang two ears of Indian Scorn on our front door for the season.