The "Jason Heyward Drinks Delicious Cardinal Tears" Sploogetime Thread

[Saul Goodman]

Unless stupid ass headlines like Cubs.com's "J-Hey now, you're a Cubs star, got paid" ruin it, this is going to be fun.

[Slaky]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

[Quality Start Machine]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

They have to DFA or trade somebody to make room on the 40 before they can make it official, no?

[SKO]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

They have to DFA or trade somebody to make room on the 40 before they can make it official, no?

Nah, they've got 39 on the 40 man at the moment.

[Quality Start Machine]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

They have to DFA or trade somebody to make room on the 40 before they can make it official, no?

Nah, they've got 39 on the 40 man at the moment.

OK, cool. I thought they were full. Maybe they're going to trot out Heyward, Lackey and Zobrist together?

[Slaky]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

They have to DFA or trade somebody to make room on the 40 before they can make it official, no?

Nah, they've got 39 on the 40 man at the moment.

OK, cool. I thought they were full. Maybe they're going to trot out Heyward, Lackey and Zobrist together?

They already did Zobrist.

[Yeti]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

2/30 today, according to Bruce Levine

[Quality Start Machine]

When's the damn press conference? I want to hear the story about how this all came together. It's going piss off those yokels even more.

2/30 today, according to Bruce Levine

Russell tweeted out the other day that he'd give up his number for Heyward.

Let's swee if that happens.

[Quality Start Machine]

[Canadouche]

Suddenly, I'm really happy I held off on buying that Russell jersey.

[InternetApex]

Suddenly, I'm really happy I held off on buying that Russell jersey.

My Jerry Mumphrey pullover is back in vogue, I see.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Suddenly, I'm really happy I held off on buying that Russell jersey.

My Jerry Mumphrey pullover is back in vogue, I see.

#billybuck4evah

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

But seriously--Russell got a good start at completely rinsing my palate of the bitter aftertaste of disappointment that was Mark Prior.  Wild like Heyward to finish the jorb.

[Tonker]

But seriously--Russell got a good start at completely rinsing my palate of the bitter aftertaste of disappointment that was Mark Prior.  Wild like Heyward to finish the jorb.

I wild also like that.

[R-V]

Joe Sheehan (yes, your mileage may vary on the guy) had an interesting thought experiment in his offseason rundown of the shitty Marlins:

This is a Marlins team that has just $31 million in 2016 salary commitments, that finished below .500 in a lost year for its best players while competing in a five-team division in which two teams are openly tanking. The Marlins aren't likely to be better than the Mets or the Nationals this year, but they have just three years left on the Giancarlo Stanton/Jose Fernandez combination. When you start with that core -- and I'm aware that neither player is the picture of health -- you have an obligation to build around it. What duos are competitive with that pair, just based on raw talent? Kershaw/Seager? Bogaerts/Price? Correa/Springer doesn't get there, nor does Correa/Keuchel. I don't think I can pair up any Angel with Mike Trout to beat the Marlins. Hernandez/Cano? Harper/Scherzer is close. McCutchen/Cole, maybe. Bryant/Heyward? Posey/Bumgarner. Goldschmidt/Greinke. Oh, since I've come this far and the rules say I have to file for every team...

Top Duos, 2016

1. Harper/Scherzer, Nationals
2. Stanton/Fernandez, Marlins
3. Goldschmidt/Greinke, Diamondbacks
4. Rizzo/Heyward, Cubs
5. Posey/Bumgarner, Giants

I think what's scary is that the Cubs' 3-4 -- Arrieta/Bryant? -- could be in the top seven. Russell/Schwarber can't be that far behind. Hoo, boy. How many teams would not trade their top two players for Addison Russell and Kyle Schwarber? 12? 15?

I still kind of can't believe how much talent they're going to have this year.