The "Jason Heyward Drinks Delicious Cardinal Tears" Sploogetime Thread

[Slaky]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

Yeah 0-5 and stranding runners on base by the busload is making it hard for the most rhetorically limber of people to defend this guy right now.

He is definitely slumping. I think they should kill him.

[InternetApex]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

Yeah 0-5 and stranding runners on base by the busload is making it hard for the most rhetorically limber of people to defend this guy right now.

He is definitely slumping. I think they should kill him.

He looks late to me. I don't know if it's the hand or wrist problem or if he's not picking the ball up fast enough right now. Since good baseball players his age don't usually just turn bad all of a sudden, I would bet there is some physical malady that is keeping him from getting the head out quick enough to rake. HGH is a helluva drug tho. 

[CT III]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

Yeah 0-5 and stranding runners on base by the busload is making it hard for the most rhetorically limber of people to defend this guy right now.

He is definitely slumping. I think they should kill him.

This thread reached it's only logical conclusion much quicker than I expected.

[Quality Start Machine]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

One alternative would be to swap him and Zobrist in the lineup.  Ben's knocking the ball all over the park, at least let him do it with Dexter on base.

[SKO]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

One alternative would be to swap him and Zobrist in the lineup.  Ben's knocking the ball all over the park, at least let him do it with Dexter on base.

That's one option, I'd also be fine with Addison moving up to #2. Addison's taking a lot of walks this year, has a .355 OBP, and I like Zobrist behind Rizzo to drive in him and Bryant. So I'd go with: Fowler/Russell/Bryant/Rizzo/Zobrist/Heyward/La Stella or Baez/Catcher of the Day

[Quality Start Machine]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

One alternative would be to swap him and Zobrist in the lineup.  Ben's knocking the ball all over the park, at least let him do it with Dexter on base.

Move Zobrist and you'd be taking the bat out of Rizzo's hands until someone can heat up and hit in the 5 spot.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

One alternative would be to swap him and Zobrist in the lineup.  Ben's knocking the ball all over the park, at least let him do it with Dexter on base.

Move Zobrist and you'd be taking the bat out of Rizzo's hands until someone can heat up and hit in the 5 spot.

If the bases are clogged ahead of Rizzo, it's hard to pitch around him.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Time for him to go down in the order until he gets it figured out.

before today he was 308/400/423 in the previous 7.

And then today happened and now it's harder to cherry-pick good stats for him.

MLB gave me that particular slash line. I didn't have time to do a deeper dive.

So what's the alternative? He had a stinker today, but nobody's exactly been lighting it up the past few games.

One alternative would be to swap him and Zobrist in the lineup.  Ben's knocking the ball all over the park, at least let him do it with Dexter on base.

Move Zobrist and you'd be taking the bat out of Rizzo's hands until someone can heat up and hit in the 5 spot.

If the bases are clogged ahead of Rizzo, it's hard to pitch around him.

I was trying to articulate something to this effect but gave up.   But yeah-- it seems that the opportunity to pitch around Rizzo would be diminished if Dex, Zo and KB were on base ahead of him.

[SKO]

Also Addison is right there guys. He's got a .288/.373/.508 line this month. He could hit second or protect Rizzo. Just sayin

[R-V]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

[SKO]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

[R-V]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

[Bort]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

Is responding to an SKO joke with an SKO style explanatory post high level trolling or advanced irony?

[R-V]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

Is responding to an SKO joke with an SKO style explanatory post high level trolling or advanced irony?

Go read some Kierkegaard and get back to me.

I thought SKO's response was sincere and I responded with sincerity.