The "Jason Heyward Drinks Delicious Cardinal Tears" Sploogetime Thread

[SKO]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

[Yeti]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

cool

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

cool

Yup.

[Saul Goodman]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

cool

Yup.

What's his VORL?

[Quality Start Machine]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

I'm convinced the SKO saga ends with a news anchor talking over a live chopper shot, "We're now looking live at the scene..."

[SKO]

What if he just died? He could just die and that'd be great. Just never bother me again

I'm convinced the SKO saga ends with a news anchor talking over a live chopper shot, "We're now looking live at the scene..."

Honestly IRL I am calm about the sports because I just pour all of the angry thoughts into the twitter box so that people I actually care about don't have to deal with them. I just need a place to vent, really, and I chose you poor bastards.

[R-V]

I think Heyward's sudden inability to catch the ball might be the single thing I'm most mad about so far this season. The offense will come around, there's no way the pitching staff can continue to walk this many guys (can they?), but the overall shitty defense so far is infuriating.

[SKO]

I think Heyward's sudden inability to catch the ball might be the single thing I'm most mad about so far this season. The offense will come around, there's no way the pitching staff can continue to walk this many guys (can they?), but the overall shitty defense so far is infuriating.

I won't deny my reaction to him is over the top and insane, but when that asshole has gotten to take 1200+ plate appearances while hitting like Junior Lake I've had to deal with "BUT HIS DEFENSE!" over and over, and to see him fuck up repeatedly at the only thing he's even employed for at this point is beyond infuriating.

[Quality Start Machine]

According to mlb.com, Over the last 7 games (Why they just don't make this chomp 10 games is a fucking mystery*) he's slashing 455/500/591. He's dinking and doinking his way into actual value.

*Best guess is they're trying to represent a week.

[SKO]

According to mlb.com, Over the last 7 games (Why they just don't make this chomp 10 games is a fucking mystery*) he's slashing 455/500/591. He's dinking and doinking his way into actual value.

*Best guess is they're trying to represent a week.

On the one hand I feel like this guy has sucked long enough that we should really let him put together a several month sample size of competence before we act like he's fixed anything. On the other hand he's been so goddamn unbelievably shitty it's hard not to be over the top happy when he's merely competent for a while.

IF, IF he can keep his current slashline against RHP going, combined with Zobrist looking like Classic Zobrist and Happ's bat coming around there's an embarrassment of riches in terms of matchups Joe can go with in the outfield.

[Shooter]

According to mlb.com, Over the last 7 games (Why they just don't make this chomp 10 games is a fucking mystery*) he's slashing 455/500/591. He's dinking and doinking his way into actual value.

*Best guess is they're trying to represent a week.

On the one hand I feel like this guy has sucked long enough that we should really let him put together a several month sample size of competence before we act like he's fixed anything. On the other hand he's been so goddamn unbelievably shitty it's hard not to be over the top happy when he's merely competent for a while.

IF, IF he can keep his current slashline against RHP going, combined with Zobrist looking like Classic Zobrist and Happ's bat coming around there's an embarrassment of riches in terms of matchups Joe can go with in the outfield.

The embarrassment is that Joe willl still start Heyward against lefties (or at the very least not pinch hit for him).

[Quality Start Machine]

In the Damning-with-faint-praise dept...

Heyward is now on track for his best season as a Cub - both 2016 and 2017 he managed a hefty 1.0 WAR. He's currently sitting at 0.6.

[SKO]

In the Damning-with-faint-praise dept...

Heyward is now on track for his best season as a Cub - both 2016 and 2017 he managed a hefty 1.0 WAR. He's currently sitting at 0.6.

Yeah it figures the one time his bat is hanging around league average he'll have an inexplicably bad start with the glove.

[Quality Start Machine]

In the Damning-with-faint-praise dept...

Heyward is now on track for his best season as a Cub - both 2016 and 2017 he managed a hefty 1.0 WAR. He's currently sitting at 0.6.

Yeah it figures the one time his bat is hanging around league average he'll have an inexplicably bad start with the glove.

He had that horror show in Colorado that still has his defensive metrics a little skewed.

[SKO]

Holy fucking shit