The 2016 Cubs: SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

[Quality Start Machine]

This team has scored 15 runs in 2 games with Bryant and Russell taking two collars and Schwarber one.

This fucking team.

[Yeti]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

[SKO]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

[InternetApex]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

[SKO]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

[Slaky]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Craig. Biggio.

[Oleg]

On the train for the game. If anyone's ever been to an Angels game and found good food, please share.

Damnit, you were at the game?  On Monday after the game, a drunk Oleg walked out and decided to get one of the street hot dogs wrapped in bacon from the street vendors.  The next morning, my anus, stomach, and intestines begun revolting against the rest of my body and a hungover me couldn't do shit to stop them.  I was in a fetal position for a good 3 hours. Lesson learned.

Yesterday, I had a not-so-bad beef brisket sandwich somewhere outside section 235 or so.

[Canadouche]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Ah, yes.

[PenFoe]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Craig. Biggio.

Fuck Fernando fucking Vina.

[Oleg]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Craig. Biggio.

Fuck Fernando fucking Vina.

Didn't Wood once strike him out on a curve ball that ended up hitting him in the ribs?

[InternetApex]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Craig. Biggio.

Fuck Fernando fucking Vina.

Didn't Wood once strike him out on a curve ball that ended up hitting him in the ribs?

I hope so. I think I also remember Chip going apeshit about a defensive play Vina made to kill a rally. I remember hating Vina and Caray with equal venom for days afterward. They played the Caray call of that play on the national highlight shows instead of the Cardinals call. It was too much, man. It was too much. And I had forgotten all about that fucking communist until this morning. So thanks for that.

[R-V]

irregardless

No.

[Saul Goodman]

On the train for the game. If anyone's ever been to an Angels game and found good food, please share.

Damnit, you were at the game?  On Monday after the game, a drunk Oleg walked out and decided to get one of the street hot dogs wrapped in bacon from the street vendors.  The next morning, my anus, stomach, and intestines begun revolting against the rest of my body and a hungover me couldn't do shit to stop them.  I was in a fetal position for a good 3 hours. Lesson learned.

Yesterday, I had a not-so-bad beef brisket sandwich somewhere outside section 235 or so.

I ended up having a Philly cheesesteak that was really good (for ballpark food, mostly because it was cooked fresh) and nachos served in a helmet. What a country.

[Quality Start Machine]

On the train for the game. If anyone's ever been to an Angels game and found good food, please share.

Damnit, you were at the game?  On Monday after the game, a drunk Oleg walked out and decided to get one of the street hot dogs wrapped in bacon from the street vendors.  The next morning, my anus, stomach, and intestines begun revolting against the rest of my body and a hungover me couldn't do shit to stop them.  I was in a fetal position for a good 3 hours. Lesson learned.

Yesterday, I had a not-so-bad beef brisket sandwich somewhere outside section 235 or so.

I ended up having a Philly cheesesteak that was really good (for ballpark food, mostly because it was cooked fresh) and nachos served in a helmet. What a country.

There are a lot of ballparks that have upped their food game pretty considerably. Shit, even Wrigley Field has a Hot Doug's stand.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Tonight I learned that Angels fans are extremely butthurt about how close Rizzo stands to the plate. Another guy in our section was getting incensed at all the ball calls Cubs batters were getting on pitches right down the middle -- that had clearly bounced in the dirt. All the T-Mobile phone charging stations that were not plugged in and were nowhere near outlets were also very helpful.

I have to admit, if Matt Holliday (say) stood as close to the plate as Tony Ballgame does, it would bug the shit out of me.  Seeing as it's Tony, though, it just makes me love him more.

It wouldn't bother me. It's not like he doesn't pay for it getting plunked 30 times a year. As long as it's legal and he (and we all should prep for this as well) accepts the fact that at some point he may take one off his dome or break an arm doing it, I have no beef with whoever stands that close.

Where were you with Fernando Vina as a Cardinal? Because irregardless of the accuracy in this statement, I recall him jumping in front of the plate to get hit all the time. Also, he usually ran about 5 feet up when hitting some slap single

I fucking hated him, but that had nothing to do with it. If it's legal, I don't have a beef with it. I don't like the way Carter Capps had that fucked up delivery, but that's because I think it actually IS illegal and they just don't call him on it. Fortunately God took away his elbow ligaments as punishment when the umps wouldn't do it.

It bugged me when Bonds did it because he had that Darth Vader arm protector grandfathered in. Like the best of hitter of our generation who did more drugs than Tony Montana needed another advantage. Bonds was a weirdo and couldn't stand him. So wherever he stood and whatever he wore would have annoyed me. But that shit wasn't fair. What Rizzo is doing - or what Fernando Vina did, don't bother me. For some guys it's hard to hit an inside pitch when you're that close. If you can do what they're doing and still rake, well, damn.

I seem to remember Sosa getting beaned in the head sometime in 03/04 and then moving a bit farther off the plate as a result and then he seemed to struggle more with getting to those outside pitches. It takes some guts to stay that close to the plate and deal with the potential consequences, so if a guy is willing to do it I won't bitch.

But yea the Bonds arm protector was bullshit.

Craig. Biggio.

Fuck Fernando fucking Vina.

Didn't Wood once strike him out on a curve ball that ended up hitting him in the ribs?

I once remember him tomahawking a Kerry Wood fastball that was coming right at his head for a triple down the right field line, thus propelling a victory in the third game of a 3-game Cardinals sweep in May of 2001 in the same game that Bill Mueller shredded his knee and why the fuck are we talking about Fernando Vina?