The 2016 Cubs: SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

[SKO]

As a team they're hitting .282/.379/.468/.847. I expect some guys (Fowler/Montero/La Stella/Szczur) to slow down a bit, but Bryant/Soler/Russell/Heyward haven't even gotten going yet. God I love this team.

[InternetApex]

As a team they're hitting .282/.379/.468/.847. I expect some guys (Fowler/Montero/La Stella/Szczur) to slow down a bit, but Bryant/Soler/Russell/Heyward haven't even gotten going yet. God I love this team.

The 2016 Chicago Cubs: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

[Saul Goodman]

I think the only guy more surprised than Lester about that Billy Hamilton home run was Billy Hamilton.

[Quality Start Machine]

This fucking team.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

Russell sure picked the right time to drop his 1st A-BOMB of the season. They get no-hit til 2 outs in the 7th and then score 5 in the last 2 frames to win it. THIS.FUCKING.TEAM!

[CT III]

Russell sure picked the right time to drop his 1st A-BOMB of the season. They get no-hit til 2 outs in the 7th and then score 5 in the last 2 frames to win it. THIS.FUCKING.TEAM!

I just wanted to check, you're not from Montana, are you?

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

No, I'm not from podunk Montana. Why do you ask?

[CT III]

No, I'm not from podunk Montana. Why do you ask?

Uh, no reason.

[Quality Start Machine]

No, I'm not from podunk Montana. Why do you ask?

Uh, no reason.

I LOLed.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

I'm very disappointed in you CT. You never seem to let up on anyone and this time you're just going to stop at "Uh, no reason"? Should we expect an incoming planetary shift?

[CT III]

I'm very disappointed in you CT. You never seem to let up on anyone and this time you're just going to stop at "Uh, no reason"? Should we expect an incoming planetary shift?

Fair enough, here goes: some of your posts have a similar cadence to the tweets of a Blackhawks fan account that I may or may not have created, which subsequently gained sentience and turned on me.  Granted you seem to lack its general idiocy and pathological hatred of Corey Crawford, but when dealing with a potential AI situation I feel it never hurts to be too careful.

I hope this explanation was both as satisfying and confusing to you as it was me when I re-read it.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

I can put your unease at rest for good of me potentially being an AI based out of Montana. I don't even have a Twitter account nor have I ever used anyone else's to make a tweet. I shall now sit back and wait for everyone to pick their sorry asses up from the floor, either due to falling over from shock or laughter at my no-tweeting ass.

[PenFoe]

Fun with small sample size stats:

                  Cubs Batters             Cubs Pitchers (allowed)
Walks               38                                   9
OBP                  .372                                .247
OPS                  .802                                .605
AVG.                 .263                                .212

[Powdered Toast Man]

Fun with small sample size stats:

                  Cubs Batters             Cubs Pitchers (allowed)
Walks               38                                   9
OBP                  .372                                .247
OPS                  .802                                .605
AVG.                 .263                                .212

Them walks though.

[Shooter]

Fun with small sample size stats:

                  Cubs Batters             Cubs Pitchers (allowed)
Walks               38                                   9
OBP                  .372                                .247
OPS                  .802                                .605
AVG.                 .263                                .212

Them walks though.

Which ones?