The 2016 Cubs: SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

[Quality Start Machine]

Stand the fuck up.

This is a first.

I have enjoyed (not incorrectly) being told I'm overreacting by a man who has held a single double play against Mark DeRosa for nigh a decade.

Circle of life I guess. You die a Huey or live long enough to see yourself become a Fork.

It's in your DNA.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Stand the fuck up.

This is a first.

I have enjoyed (not incorrectly) being told I'm overreacting by a man who has held a single double play against Mark DeRosa for nigh a decade.

Circle of life I guess. You die a Huey or live long enough to see yourself become a Fork.

Seems to me Eli's point is that the guy who's DesipioFamous for telling people to sit the fuck down is now telling people to stand the fuck up but I'll never fail to appreciate your knee-jerk inclination to jump all over me because...well, to be frank I don't what your fucking point is, seeing as how my criticism of your beltless Fro Dog impression is that you keep losing your shit over every single goddamn regular season ballgame (and then throwing a corresponding hissy fit because people tell you not to get so goddamn angry in May)  whereas Mark Derosa had a genuine chance to turn around a playoff game but instead impulsively swing at a bullshit 3-1 pitch from Livian Hernandez that effectively ended the season. 

But seriously--you keep doing you, SKO. 

And Eli--I appreciate you pointing out the supreme irony in my statement.

[SKO]

I mean I said "not incorrectly"

[flannj]

How about everybody enjoy some summer evenings with whatever the hell your choice of devils brew may be (somebody baked me a couple of special cookies that have a strong odor) and chill the fuck out for a couple of days.

It's all going to be fine.

[Eli]

Seems to me Eli's point is that the guy who's DesipioFamous for telling people to sit the fuck down is now telling people to stand the fuck up ...

That.

[SKO]

How about everybody enjoy some summer evenings with whatever the hell your choice of devils brew may be (somebody baked me a couple of special cookies that have a strong odor) and chill the fuck out for a couple of days.

It's all going to be fine.

Deal. Today's win was definitely a balm on my chapped ass

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I mean I said "not incorrectly"

That's fair.

Let's hug this shit out and eat some of flannj's Alice B. Toklas cookies and gear up for an epic stretch run, shall we?

[flannj]

I mean I said "not incorrectly"

That's fair.

Let's hug this shit out and eat some of flannj's Alice B. Toklas cookies and gear up for an epic stretch run, shall we?

Huey gets it.

[Quality Start Machine]

I mean I said "not incorrectly"

That's fair.

Let's hug this shit out and eat some of flannj's Alice B. Toklas cookies and gear up for an epic stretch run, shall we?

Huey gets it.

Shirt off, hug locked and loaded.

[SKO]

Cubs ended the first half with the best position player in the NL and the best hitter in the NL. Not the same guy.

fWAR
Bryant: 5.0 (holy shit, 1st)
Rizzo: 3.5  (6th in the NL)

Dingers:
Bryant: 25  (first)
Rizzo: 21 (5th)

wRC+
Bryant: 153 (6th)
Rizzo: 164 (1st)

wOBA
Bryant: .403 (5th)
Rizzo: .419 (1st)

OPS
Bryant: .962 (5th)
Rizzo: 1.006 (1st)

Here's to the new Ruth/Gehrig of the NL. Also, considering I expected to spend most of their careers explaining to morons why they are both good despite low batting averages/high strikeout rates, the fact that Tony now strikes out well below average and Bryant has lowed his K rate by nearly 10% and they are hitting .299 and .286 respectively is an unexpected surprise.

[CT III]

I'm sort of perplexed here.  First, I'm not entirely sure if TJ is serious, or if his posts are intended to be a fun reversal of his annual "the Cubs can still make the playoffs" persona that will end with an August 1st post breaking down the various W-Ls it will take to hand the Brewers the division title.

Second, is this really going to be the team that breaks some of you?  I mean is this really shaping up to be more of a kick in the dick than 03-04 or 07 & 08?  Even if you think the starting pitchers are all suddenly finished, throwing in the towel in July on a team that's 18 games over .500 has a couple of key injuries and some pieces that can be moved for help at the trade deadline is a little extreme.

[Oleg]

I'm sort of perplexed here.  First, I'm not entirely sure if TJ is serious, or if his posts are intended to be a fun reversal of his annual "the Cubs can still make the playoffs" persona that will end with an August 1st post breaking down the various W-Ls it will take to hand the Brewers the division title.

Second, is this really going to be the team that breaks some of you?  I mean is this really shaping up to be more of a kick in the dick than 03-04 or 07 & 08?  Even if you think the starting pitchers are all suddenly finished, throwing in the towel in July on a team that's 18 games over .500 has a couple of key injuries and some pieces that can be moved for help at the trade deadline is a little extreme.

I see that CTbot seems to have lost some memory sectors that store his Desipio data in his latest reboot.

[SKO]

I'm sort of perplexed here.  First, I'm not entirely sure if TJ is serious, or if his posts are intended to be a fun reversal of his annual "the Cubs can still make the playoffs" persona that will end with an August 1st post breaking down the various W-Ls it will take to hand the Brewers the division title.

Second, is this really going to be the team that breaks some of you?  I mean is this really shaping up to be more of a kick in the dick than 03-04 or 07 & 08?  Even if you think the starting pitchers are all suddenly finished, throwing in the towel in July on a team that's 18 games over .500 has a couple of key injuries and some pieces that can be moved for help at the trade deadline is a little extreme.

I would like to note that for all of my kicking, screaming, and yelling I have not offered any kind of "Cubs are done, etc." , so much as I've just said "fuck" a lot to no real effect. TJ has managed to sink even farther than I have.

Andy is right in that if this team did somehow blow this it probably would be the worst kick in the dick of them all, but even at my darkest I've yet to reach the point where I think they will actually blow this, especially since they also have 2 wildcard spots to dick around with. I will say that if Arrieta doesn't right the ship soon my hopes of them winning a world series this year will start to deflate big time because every single scenario in which they win a title this year was predicated on Jake kicking major ass in October.

[Quality Start Machine]

This team has the largest lead in baseball, and every flaw has been perfectly revealed with plenty of time until the trade deadline. The pitching staff isn't the one Joe is taking into October.

Nothing is fucked here.

[SKO]

This team has the largest lead in baseball, and every flaw has been perfectly revealed with plenty of time until the trade deadline. The pitching staff isn't the one Joe is taking into October.

Nothing is fucked here.

The problem there is that Arrieta, Lackey, and Lester are undoubtedly going to be in the playoff rotation barring a big trade and Lackey completely falling apart.

So the only thing in this entire slump that actually has me legit worried is Jake and Jon's struggles. Lester not so much because he was downright excellent for 3 months and has had two rough ones and he's done this before as a Cub and in his career and bounced back no problem. His struggles are probably only in my head because they came at the worst possible time for the team.

Jake scares the piss out of me because his career has been two acts: the guy that can't control his shit and gets hammered every start and the guy who can control his shit and is untouchable. This absolutely could be just a normal slump that he'll work through, we just haven't ever seen him have four-five bad starts in a row as a Cub and given his history I can't completely escape the fear that he's in his own head again and might be Baltimore Jake for awhile.

That little voice inside my head will go away the second he throws another quality 7 innings.

But yeah, the Cubs went into October last year with a bullpen counting heavily on Wood, Cahill, Rodney, and Richard and none of those guys were in the Cubs bullpen to start the year, two of them didn't even throw a pitch in a Cub uniform until September. Pens are fungible, and the offense has been solid and will only be better as they get healthy and play a ton of home games in the second half.