The 2016 Cubs: SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

[R-V]

What was your favorite moment of the Brian Matusz Era?

Between sending down La Stella in favor of Coghlan, giving Matusz a start because fuck it why not, and using Joel Peralta at all it feels like the Cubs are using the rest of the season for roster tinkering rather than winning which is pretty fucking dumb considering their lead is now longer even remotely close to insurmountable

It appears Theo is as big of a meatball as I am:

Exactly three months before Halloween, Theo Epstein was so pissed off at himself he started to bang on street signs. It was July 31, the day before the trade deadline, and the St. Louis Cardinals were threatening to winnow the Cubs' National League Central division lead, once 12½ games, to 5½. And Epstein thought it was all his fault.

A left-hander named Brian Matusz, like Arrieta a former Baltimore pitching prospect, started for the Cubs that night. Chicago was trying to build organizational depth and figured Matusz a safe risk, especially after he had pitched well at Triple-A. Matusz allowed a two-run homer in the first, second and third innings, and Epstein, hunkered down for days in trade talks, needed some fresh air. He and Hoyer decided to take a walk. They ended up going for miles – talking, self-flagellating and whacking signs out of frustration. Never again would he do this, put at risk the dynamic of the clubhouse Maddon spent so long building for a flight of fancy.

"I felt like I had personally cost the team a game in the pennant race," Epstein said.

"He took it personally," Hoyer said.

"I took it very personally," Epstein said.

"We were too cute about it," Hoyer said.

"We overthought it," Epstein said.

In the eighth inning, Epstein headed down to the Cubs' clubhouse, ready to own his mistake face to face with the players. He refused to run from his errors. If he wanted the respect of players, he needed to face them.

One of the thousands of interesting things about this year's team, and the construction of it, is that when the Cubs hired Theo I had a pretty un-nuanced view of him as a stat dweeb (and I love stats!) who did a funny thing in a gorilla suit once. And that couldn't be further than the truth - his mentality is basically 1/3 Huey (meatball), 1/3 Chuck Dickens (brainiac stat dweeb) and 1/3 Mark DeRosa (extremely likeable personality who works hard & plays hard) which it turns out is a great recipe for running a baseball team.

Fuck Mark DeRosa, you fanboy shitheel.

I guess it's safe to say you took the bait.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

What was your favorite moment of the Brian Matusz Era?

Between sending down La Stella in favor of Coghlan, giving Matusz a start because fuck it why not, and using Joel Peralta at all it feels like the Cubs are using the rest of the season for roster tinkering rather than winning which is pretty fucking dumb considering their lead is now longer even remotely close to insurmountable

It appears Theo is as big of a meatball as I am:

Exactly three months before Halloween, Theo Epstein was so pissed off at himself he started to bang on street signs. It was July 31, the day before the trade deadline, and the St. Louis Cardinals were threatening to winnow the Cubs' National League Central division lead, once 12½ games, to 5½. And Epstein thought it was all his fault.

A left-hander named Brian Matusz, like Arrieta a former Baltimore pitching prospect, started for the Cubs that night. Chicago was trying to build organizational depth and figured Matusz a safe risk, especially after he had pitched well at Triple-A. Matusz allowed a two-run homer in the first, second and third innings, and Epstein, hunkered down for days in trade talks, needed some fresh air. He and Hoyer decided to take a walk. They ended up going for miles – talking, self-flagellating and whacking signs out of frustration. Never again would he do this, put at risk the dynamic of the clubhouse Maddon spent so long building for a flight of fancy.

"I felt like I had personally cost the team a game in the pennant race," Epstein said.

"He took it personally," Hoyer said.

"I took it very personally," Epstein said.

"We were too cute about it," Hoyer said.

"We overthought it," Epstein said.

In the eighth inning, Epstein headed down to the Cubs' clubhouse, ready to own his mistake face to face with the players. He refused to run from his errors. If he wanted the respect of players, he needed to face them.

One of the thousands of interesting things about this year's team, and the construction of it, is that when the Cubs hired Theo I had a pretty un-nuanced view of him as a stat dweeb (and I love stats!) who did a funny thing in a gorilla suit once. And that couldn't be further than the truth - his mentality is basically 1/3 Huey (meatball), 1/3 Chuck Dickens (brainiac stat dweeb) and 1/3 Mark DeRosa (extremely likeable personality who works hard & plays hard) which it turns out is a great recipe for running a baseball team.

Fuck Mark DeRosa, you fanboy shitheel.

I guess it's safe to say you took the bait.

And how!

[CT III]

What was your favorite moment of the Brian Matusz Era?

Between sending down La Stella in favor of Coghlan, giving Matusz a start because fuck it why not, and using Joel Peralta at all it feels like the Cubs are using the rest of the season for roster tinkering rather than winning which is pretty fucking dumb considering their lead is now longer even remotely close to insurmountable

It appears Theo is as big of a meatball as I am:

Exactly three months before Halloween, Theo Epstein was so pissed off at himself he started to bang on street signs. It was July 31, the day before the trade deadline, and the St. Louis Cardinals were threatening to winnow the Cubs' National League Central division lead, once 12½ games, to 5½. And Epstein thought it was all his fault.

A left-hander named Brian Matusz, like Arrieta a former Baltimore pitching prospect, started for the Cubs that night. Chicago was trying to build organizational depth and figured Matusz a safe risk, especially after he had pitched well at Triple-A. Matusz allowed a two-run homer in the first, second and third innings, and Epstein, hunkered down for days in trade talks, needed some fresh air. He and Hoyer decided to take a walk. They ended up going for miles – talking, self-flagellating and whacking signs out of frustration. Never again would he do this, put at risk the dynamic of the clubhouse Maddon spent so long building for a flight of fancy.

"I felt like I had personally cost the team a game in the pennant race," Epstein said.

"He took it personally," Hoyer said.

"I took it very personally," Epstein said.

"We were too cute about it," Hoyer said.

"We overthought it," Epstein said.

In the eighth inning, Epstein headed down to the Cubs' clubhouse, ready to own his mistake face to face with the players. He refused to run from his errors. If he wanted the respect of players, he needed to face them.

One of the thousands of interesting things about this year's team, and the construction of it, is that when the Cubs hired Theo I had a pretty un-nuanced view of him as a stat dweeb (and I love stats!) who did a funny thing in a gorilla suit once. And that couldn't be further than the truth - his mentality is basically 1/3 Huey (meatball), 1/3 Chuck Dickens (brainiac stat dweeb) and 1/3 Mark DeRosa (extremely likeable personality who works hard & plays hard) which it turns out is a great recipe for running a baseball team.

Fuck Mark DeRosa, you fanboy shitheel.

I guess it's safe to say you took the bait.

That bet was so safe not even Pete Rose could fuck it up.

[SKO]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

[SKO]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

Yeah basically what I meant was I am giving Alex Gonzalez a full pardon and that I will love Derrek Lee and Aramis even more than I already did. I'm not about to hug Corey Patterson or something. Also I can now remember Mark Prior without wanting to die.

[Bort]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

Yeah basically what I meant was I am giving Alex Gonzalez a full pardon and that I will love Derrek Lee and Aramis even more than I already did. I'm not about to hug Corey Patterson or something. Also I can now remember Mark Prior without wanting to die.

I just threw an extra log on Snork's barn because my bullshit toleration still has its limits.

[Eli]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

Yeah basically what I meant was I am giving Alex Gonzalez a full pardon and that I will love Derrek Lee and Aramis even more than I already did. I'm not about to hug Corey Patterson or something. Also I can now remember Mark Prior without wanting to die.

I just threw an extra log on Snork's barn because my bullshit toleration still has its limits.

The Cubs kicking his ass in the NLDS should keep that flame going for eternity.

[SKO]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

Yeah basically what I meant was I am giving Alex Gonzalez a full pardon and that I will love Derrek Lee and Aramis even more than I already did. I'm not about to hug Corey Patterson or something. Also I can now remember Mark Prior without wanting to die.

I just threw an extra log on Snork's barn because my bullshit toleration still has its limits.

The Cubs kicking his ass in the NLDS should keep that flame going for eternity.

I wonder if he's figured out yet how a team can get better by trading Scott Feldman

[Bort]

I enjoy that Huey still hates Mark DeRosa, because this is me last week:

Me: God, I forgive them, I forgive them all. All the ex-Cubs can celebrate this!

Wife: oh look there's Ryan Dempster in the parade!

Me: oh...uhh...*twitching* okay then

Wife: What about Dusty Baker?

Me: Well, alright maybe not everyone is forgiven

Wife: Ryan Theriot?

Me: Fuck that shitheel.

DeRosa is actually likeable.  I heard him interviewed on the SCORE a few weeks ago and thought I was listening to clips from "Goodfellas" he sounds so much like Ray Liotta.  He's got charisma, and he's also had the decency to stay the fuck out of the Cubs' way since shitting the tub in consecutive seasons.

I only took the bait because RV begged me to and who am I to disappoint?

But just so we're clear--even though the Cubs won it all I still want Ryan Dempster to die a slow, painful death, the sooner, the better, thanks.  Jesus, that asshat is so immeasurably hateable.

Yeah basically what I meant was I am giving Alex Gonzalez a full pardon and that I will love Derrek Lee and Aramis even more than I already did. I'm not about to hug Corey Patterson or something. Also I can now remember Mark Prior without wanting to die.

I just threw an extra log on Snork's barn because my bullshit toleration still has its limits.

The Cubs kicking his ass in the NLDS should keep that flame going for eternity.

I wonder if he's figured out yet how a team can get better by trading Scott Feldman

Everything's coming up Bort.

[Saul Goodman]

Gold Gloves for Heyward, Rizzo; highway robbery for Brandon Crawford against Addison Russell. This wrong shall not stand.

[CT III]

I hate Bud Selig.

Fuck Selig.

Cubs in 6.

I heard a caller mention something about the 4 games in AL parks. He said, if it gets to game 7, that means the Cubs will have been able to put out an optimized batting order 4 games, as opposed to 3, and that may help them since I believe most of us agree the Cubs probably have the best lineup and great depth.

Also, 4 games of Schwarber

[Quality Start Machine]

I hate Bud Selig.

Fuck Selig.

Cubs in 6.

I heard a caller mention something about the 4 games in AL parks. He said, if it gets to game 7, that means the Cubs will have been able to put out an optimized batting order 4 games, as opposed to 3, and that may help them since I believe most of us agree the Cubs probably have the best lineup and great depth.

Also, 4 games of Schwarber

Fortunately, Joe Maddon can influence home field in the 2017 World Series.

[ChuckD]

I hate Bud Selig.

Fuck Selig.

Cubs in 6.

I heard a caller mention something about the 4 games in AL parks. He said, if it gets to game 7, that means the Cubs will have been able to put out an optimized batting order 4 games, as opposed to 3, and that may help them since I believe most of us agree the Cubs probably have the best lineup and great depth.

Also, 4 games of Schwarber

Fortunately, Joe Maddon can influence home field in the 2017 World Series.

Can't wait to see Bartolo Colon in LF.

[Saul Goodman]

I hate Bud Selig.

Fuck Selig.

Cubs in 6.

I heard a caller mention something about the 4 games in AL parks. He said, if it gets to game 7, that means the Cubs will have been able to put out an optimized batting order 4 games, as opposed to 3, and that may help them since I believe most of us agree the Cubs probably have the best lineup and great depth.

Also, 4 games of Schwarber

Fortunately, Joe Maddon can influence home field in the 2017 World Series.

Can't wait to see Bartolo Colon in LF.

We all know Joe will use one of his manager's selections to make Travis Wood an All-Star (again).