John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno

[PenFoe]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

[SKO]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

[Quality Start Machine]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

[SKO]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

[Quality Start Machine]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Once Hendricks is back in the rotation (this weekend), one option that can be explored is the Butler/Montgomery two-headed monster. But if Jake is truly awesome again (over his last 8-10 starts, it certainly looks like he is) and Hendricks' finger is OK and he's back to his machinelike self, they're going to play .650 ball from here on out, regardless of who eats innings in the 5 slot. Shit, put me out there.

[Saul Goodman]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Once Hendricks is back in the rotation (this weekend), one option that can be explored is the Butler/Montgomery two-headed monster. But if Jake is truly awesome again (over his last 8-10 starts, it certainly looks like he is) and Hendricks' finger is OK and he's back to his machinelike self, they're going to play .650 ball from here on out, regardless of who eats innings in the 5 slot. Shit, put me out there.

No thanks. And hard disagree on Jake being "awesome" again; you obviously don't remember 2015 at all. His FIP and xFIP in his last 8 starts is in the mid-4's.

[SKO]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Once Hendricks is back in the rotation (this weekend), one option that can be explored is the Butler/Montgomery two-headed monster. But if Jake is truly awesome again (over his last 8-10 starts, it certainly looks like he is) and Hendricks' finger is OK and he's back to his machinelike self, they're going to play .650 ball from here on out, regardless of who eats innings in the 5 slot. Shit, put me out there.

No thanks. And hard disagree on Jake being "awesome" again; you obviously don't remember 2015 at all. His FIP and xFIP in his last 8 starts is in the mid-4's.

I mean I'll buy that Jake is "fixed" to some extent. He was kind of unlucky earlier in the year. His strikeout and walk numbers were good, he wasn't allowing that many hits, he was just allowing an unsustainably high HR/FB rate. Since the start of June his ERA is 3.57 and I'll buy that we can probably expect about that going forward. Like you said though, that's hardly Awesome Jake Arrieta, that's "Pretty Good Third Starter Man". Which is fine, I guess. If Hendricks is back in 2016 form when he returns and Lester is over his mid-season slump, Quintana slots in as the new #2, all Jake has to be is a pretty good four. He's just not gonna ever be That Guy again.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Nice to know SKO still stays close to his path to the ledge, fretting about the final 10 starts of the Cubs' #5 starter that can't be squandered because of--oh no, the Brewers!

[SKO]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Nice to know SKO still stays close to his path to the ledge, fretting about the final 10 starts of the Cubs' #5 starter that can't be squandered because of--oh no, the Brewers!

I'm not on the ledge at all, I quite expect them to surpass the Brewers and win the division, that said I don't think it's radical or ledge-jumping to say they've used up their margin for error for the most part and that if Lackey can't get his ERA down under 5 in the next couple of weeks they should absolutely look into an upgrade for that spot.

I think you all really miss ledge-jumping SKO and you're desperate to have him as a foil. In case anyone was paying attention I was the first one ridiculing TJ and his ridiculous "Cubs should sell" nonsense a few weeks ago.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Nice to know SKO still stays close to his path to the ledge, fretting about the final 10 starts of the Cubs' #5 starter that can't be squandered because of--oh no, the Brewers!

I'm not on the ledge at all, I quite expect them to surpass the Brewers and win the division, that said I don't think it's radical or ledge-jumping to say they've used up their margin for error for the most part and that if Lackey can't get his ERA down under 5 in the next couple of weeks they should absolutely look into an upgrade for that spot.

I think you all really miss ledge-jumping SKO and you're desperate to have him as a foil. In case anyone was paying attention I was the first one ridiculing TJ and his ridiculous "Cubs should sell" nonsense a few weeks ago.

Didn't say you were on the ledge, just that you keep the path to it close. 

Honest question because I don't know, but is the Brewers #5 starter better than Lackey?

[SKO]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Nice to know SKO still stays close to his path to the ledge, fretting about the final 10 starts of the Cubs' #5 starter that can't be squandered because of--oh no, the Brewers!

I'm not on the ledge at all, I quite expect them to surpass the Brewers and win the division, that said I don't think it's radical or ledge-jumping to say they've used up their margin for error for the most part and that if Lackey can't get his ERA down under 5 in the next couple of weeks they should absolutely look into an upgrade for that spot.

I think you all really miss ledge-jumping SKO and you're desperate to have him as a foil. In case anyone was paying attention I was the first one ridiculing TJ and his ridiculous "Cubs should sell" nonsense a few weeks ago.

Didn't say you were on the ledge, just that you keep the path to it close.  

Honest question because I don't know, but is the Brewers #5 starter better than Lackey?

I mean, in reality? Probably not, but every person on that roster not named Ryan Braun is playing well over their heads and should have regressed before now so who knows if/when it'll happen. They called up some asshole named Brent Suter who throws like 82 and he's got a 2.98 FIP. I keep expecting their collapse any day now (and maybe this 3 game skid and the current brutal road trip they are on followed by a trip home to find the Cubs waiting for them will be it) but I never thought they'd keep it up this far so I'm being cautious on prognosticating their inevitable doom.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

John Lackey wasn't useless today? Mind blown.

He'll give me a reason to hate him again in his next start.

That didn't take long.

Wind howling out and he gives up 3 in 5.1?  It'll do.  Don't let me stop you from hating him, though.

I need to learn to hold my tongue on Lackey until after the 2nd inning. He almost always gives up 1-2 in the early going and I rage because my rage against him is barely ever held in check and then he usually settles down and has a quality start. He's a perfectly acceptable five with a very hateable face.

Optimistic Bump.

I'm not ready to say anything after this start, he gave up quite a few rocket shots that found gloves, too. Until he strings 2-3 good ones together I'm still on Team Replace This Horsefaced Sonofabitch.

I'm on Team Who Gives A Shit He's Not Making The Postseason Roster Anyway.

I'm on Team They Still Trail In the Division And Can Hardly Afford to Handicap Themselves By Starting A Guy With an ERA Over 5 Every 5th Day This Is Not Last Year.

If he manages to string together a decent month or two, they pass Milwaukee and don't look back, then yeah, that's fine. If his next start or two before the deadline look as bad as most of his starts before the break and they're still chasing or tied with Milwaukee they should see if there are any upgrades out there. Doesn't need to be a Sonny Gray caliber pitcher, just some Dan Haren type who can give you 5 or 6 innings and only allow 3 runs, not 5.

Nice to know SKO still stays close to his path to the ledge, fretting about the final 10 starts of the Cubs' #5 starter that can't be squandered because of--oh no, the Brewers!

I'm not on the ledge at all, I quite expect them to surpass the Brewers and win the division, that said I don't think it's radical or ledge-jumping to say they've used up their margin for error for the most part and that if Lackey can't get his ERA down under 5 in the next couple of weeks they should absolutely look into an upgrade for that spot.

I think you all really miss ledge-jumping SKO and you're desperate to have him as a foil. In case anyone was paying attention I was the first one ridiculing TJ and his ridiculous "Cubs should sell" nonsense a few weeks ago.

Didn't say you were on the ledge, just that you keep the path to it close. 

Honest question because I don't know, but is the Brewers #5 starter better than Lackey?

I mean, in reality? Probably not, but every person on that roster not named Ryan Braun is playing well over their heads and should have regressed before now so who knows if/when it'll happen. They called up some asshole named Bruce Suter who throws like 82 and he's got a 2.98 FIP. I keep expecting their collapse any day now (and maybe this 3 game skid and the current brutal road trip they are on followed by a trip home to find the Cubs waiting for them will be it) but I never thought they'd keep it up this far so I'm being cautious on prognosticating their inevitable doom.

You seem angstsy over these shitbirds.

Fuck Milwaukee.  These turds'll be lucky to finish with 84 wins.

[SKO]

You seem angstsy over these shitbirds.

Fuck Milwaukee.  These turds'll be lucky to finish with 84 wins.

I think you confuse the fact that I just use a lot of words to say literally anything with angst.

Although yeah I predict the Cubs have a fairly standard second half for them and finish with 90 wins while Milwaukee taps out around 83/84. As I've said before I think the NL Central is just re-playing 2014, with the Cubs playing the part of the Cardinals, but Milwaukee's on desperate times and needs the money so they were willing to reprise the role of "unexpected All Star Break Division Leader that Collapses Late and Doesn't Even Finish All That Close at the End."

[Quality Start Machine]

I mean I'll buy that Jake is "fixed" to some extent. He was kind of unlucky earlier in the year. His strikeout and walk numbers were good, he wasn't allowing that many hits, he was just allowing an unsustainably high HR/FB rate. Since the start of June his ERA is 3.57 and I'll buy that we can probably expect about that going forward. Like you said though, that's hardly Awesome Jake Arrieta, that's "Pretty Good Third Starter Man". Which is fine, I guess. If Hendricks is back in 2016 form when he returns and Lester is over his mid-season slump, Quintana slots in as the new #2, all Jake has to be is a pretty good four. He's just not gonna ever be That Guy again.

That will be for another team to find out.

[SKO]

Oh if Bryant just seriously injured himself I am on the ledge again. Over the ledge. Can't even see the ledge, it's a long way down.