John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno

[Eli]

So is Lackey gonna be the pitcher that gets all the runs this yr? So while he may earn our haterage from regularly giving up 3 in 6-7 IP the offense will put up 6-8 making him seem better than he is.

2-3 ER in 6-7 IP is Kyle Hendricks. Do we hate Kyle Hendricks? I don't hate Kyle Hendricks. But Kyle Hendricks doesn't make that stupid face that Lackey does.

He makes a different stupid face though.

[Tonker]

I'm fine with Lackey.  Youse can all fuck off.

[Bort]

Lackey will finish the season with a sub-4.00 ERA and earn every penny of that meh contract.

And I'll still hate him. I hated Jim Edmonds too. I don't just forget the past and embrace these former Cardinals like some war criminal. Heyward doesn't count. It's not like he ever wanted to be a Cardinal in the first place and he cut a fucking swath out of St. Louis so fast it made General Sherman stand up and take note. 

Slow clap.

[SKO]

Tonk's tolerating a lot of bullshit in his old age.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I'm fine with Lackey.  Youse can all fuck off.

[Armchair_QB]

Lackey will finish the season with a sub-4.00 ERA and earn every penny of that meh contract.

And I'll still hate him. I hated Jim Edmonds too. I don't just forget the past and embrace these former Cardinals like some war criminal. Heyward doesn't count. It's not like he ever wanted to be a Cardinal in the first place and he cut a fucking swath out of St. Louis so fast it made General Sherman stand up and take note. 

Fuck, I wish I'd written that. I had to take a shower every time I cheered when Edmonds did something good.

[Armchair_QB]

And John Lackey molests collies.

[Quality Start Machine]

And John Lackey molests collies.

I shudder to think how hideous his O face must be.

[PenFoe]

And John Lackey molests collies.

I shudder to think how hideous his O face must be.

Pretty sure he only has that one face.

[Saul Goodman]

And John Lackey molests collies.

I shudder to think how hideous his O face must be.

Pretty sure he only has that one face.

You two freaks can discuss the many permutations of John Lackey's O-face somewhere else. Don't sully our fine and upstanding Message Board with it, thank you very much.

[Quality Start Machine]

And John Lackey molests collies.

I shudder to think how hideous his O face must be.

Pretty sure he only has that one face.

Napoleon Dynamite looking motherfucker.

[Saul Goodman]

A line drive RBI single off his former team? I'd say someone's eager for our affection. John Lackey, you're cool with me until your next start unless you blow this lead.

[WTB...A RING FFS!!]

Let's see if the mop-up relievers can actually finish a shutout this year.

[Tonker]

I'm fine with Lackey.  Youse can all fuck off.

[SKO]

He's still an asshole, but if he can keep that up, I'll at least accept that he's our asshole.