John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno

[Oleg]

This thread sucks.  Here's something that makes it better.

[Saul Goodman]

This thread sucks.  Here's something that makes it better.

[John Oliver]To be fair[/John Oliver], it's the thread John Lackey deserves.

[Shooter]

Chuck is doing some Paul-level trolling.

[Brownie]

It's way too early to try and wrap my head around how Chuck argues on the Internet.

If the discussion is "Was Michael Barrett awful or was he serviceable" I think it's best if everyone just logs off. He obviously wasn't awful.

Zambrano disagreed.  Possibly my favorite thing Z ever did was beat the shit out of Barrett.

Late to the party. Barrett sucked. Chuck is the most correct he will ever be in his life. Back in 2007, Barrett played for two teams that played beyond Game 162. Check out those teams records in games in which Barrett started vs. games he did not play. The Barrett-less PadresCubs of 2007 make the 2016 Cubs look like maybe not the 1962 Mets, but maybe the 1991 Cleveland Indians.

Check out this mediocre offering from Bradt's blog nine years ago.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

It's way too early to try and wrap my head around how Chuck argues on the Internet.

If the discussion is "Was Michael Barrett awful or was he serviceable" I think it's best if everyone just logs off. He obviously wasn't awful.

Zambrano disagreed.  Possibly my favorite thing Z ever did was beat the shit out of Barrett.

Late to the party. Barrett sucked. Chuck is the most correct he will ever be in his life. Back in 2007, Barrett played for two teams that played beyond Game 162. Check out those teams records in games in which Barrett started vs. games he did not play. The Barrett-less PadresCubs of 2007 make the 2016 Cubs look like maybe not the 1962 Mets, but maybe the 1991 Cleveland Indians.

Check out this mediocre offering from Bradt's blog nine years ago.

Oh, TJ.

[CT III]

So again, Chuck's favorite moment for one of the best pitchers in franchise history was when he threw a shitfit during a game where he gave up five runs (and the Cubs lost) and went and deliberately injured the team's above average catcher, because Chuck hated said above average catcher for a passed ball or something.

Barrett smashed Sosa's boombox. He was probably not entirely not racist.

I thought Kerry smashed the boombox, and we were all fine with that when it was him, supposedly.

Again, I'm not saying Barrett isn't a redass, but for fuck's sake, this is some of the Chuckiest Chuck that ever Chucked.

He's also responsible for the last unassisted putout of a runner stealing second by a catcher that I can remember.

I don't remember this, and am at a loss to explain how it might happen.  Don't be a tease, CT.

Sorry to leave you in suspense, but a high workload + long Friday afternoon meeting meant I couldn't get to this until now. With Huey lurking, I knew I had to find the proof to back up my assertion. This meant doing something I REALLY didn't want to do, which was comb through the fucking box scores of the 2004 Cubs season.  It actually wasn't as bad as I thought, other than having to stop for a brief sobbing fit after the events of the Mackowiak double-header and the reminder that Andy Pratt was indeed a thing that actually happened.

Which brings us to the events of July 1st, 2004.  Cubs vs. Astros.  Mark Prior vs. Pete Munro.  The Astros had acquired Carlos Beltran 6 days earlier, and Beltran had singlehandedly made this a game, hitting two homers to drive in all 4 of Houston's runs.

With the score tied in top of the 9th, Morgan Ensberg singled into centerfield off Kyle Farnsworth.  Then, with Broad Brad Ausmus at the plate, Ensberg was caught between 1st and 2nd in what I can only assume was a botched hit-and-run attempt.  Ensberg froze, and Barrett actually made the smart play for possibly the only time in his career.  He jumped up from behind the plate and ran directly at Ensberg, waiting for him break for either 1st or 2nd.  Ensberg never moved and Barrett tagged him out. Score it Ensberg caught stealing, catcher unassisted.

After a scoreless 10th inning from Jon Iceman Leicester City, Sammy Sosa hit Brad Lidge's first offering into the left field seats to end it.  I'm sure that bedlam erupted and there was much mutual HJE.

I didn't watch another second of Cubs baseball that season, so I'm just going to assume that everything turned out all right.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN200407010.shtml

[Yeti]

It's way too early to try and wrap my head around how Chuck argues on the Internet.

If the discussion is "Was Michael Barrett awful or was he serviceable" I think it's best if everyone just logs off. He obviously wasn't awful.

Zambrano disagreed.  Possibly my favorite thing Z ever did was beat the shit out of Barrett.

Late to the party. Barrett sucked. Chuck is the most correct he will ever be in his life. Back in 2007, Barrett played for two teams that played beyond Game 162. Check out those teams records in games in which Barrett started vs. games he did not play. The Barrett-less PadresCubs of 2007 make the 2016 Cubs look like maybe not the 1962 Mets, but maybe the 1991 Cleveland Indians.

Check out this mediocre offering from Bradt's blog nine years ago.

I remember when the Cubs had a great record with Koyie Dolan Hill and he sucked.

[ChuckD]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

[Saul Goodman]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

*smashes boom box*

[Canadouche]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

I was there, man. I was there.

I was never able to photoshop the same after that.

[Brownie]

It's way too early to try and wrap my head around how Chuck argues on the Internet.

If the discussion is "Was Michael Barrett awful or was he serviceable" I think it's best if everyone just logs off. He obviously wasn't awful.

Zambrano disagreed.  Possibly my favorite thing Z ever did was beat the shit out of Barrett.

Late to the party. Barrett sucked. Chuck is the most correct he will ever be in his life. Back in 2007, Barrett played for two teams that played beyond Game 162. Check out those teams records in games in which Barrett started vs. games he did not play. The Barrett-less PadresCubs of 2007 make the 2016 Cubs look like maybe not the 1962 Mets, but maybe the 1991 Cleveland Indians.

Check out this mediocre offering from Bradt's blog nine years ago.

I remember when the Cubs had a great record with Koyie Dolan Hill and he sucked.

If it means winning more games, give me 25 Koyie Hills.

[SKO]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

Everything hurts

[ChuckD]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

Everything hurts

You can't realize how nice it was to forget about something until you remember you forgot about it.

-- Jaden Smith (maybebly)

[Slaky]

Mackowiak double-header

*TRIGGERED*

Oh god. THE WRIST BAND.

[Slaky]

It's way too early to try and wrap my head around how Chuck argues on the Internet.

If the discussion is "Was Michael Barrett awful or was he serviceable" I think it's best if everyone just logs off. He obviously wasn't awful.

Zambrano disagreed.  Possibly my favorite thing Z ever did was beat the shit out of Barrett.

Late to the party. Barrett sucked. Chuck is the most correct he will ever be in his life. Back in 2007, Barrett played for two teams that played beyond Game 162. Check out those teams records in games in which Barrett started vs. games he did not play. The Barrett-less PadresCubs of 2007 make the 2016 Cubs look like maybe not the 1962 Mets, but maybe the 1991 Cleveland Indians.

Check out this mediocre offering from Bradt's blog nine years ago.

I remember when the Cubs had a great record with Koyie Dolan Hill and he sucked.

If it means winning more games, give me 25 Koyie Hills.

The point is it doesn't?