John Lackey's Blazing Horse House Inferno

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Yep.  I was a Lackey apologist but his you can only ignore what a prick he is if he's pitching well, and those days are seemingly gone for ever.  He's done and should the Cubs get to the postseason, he needs to be watching it on telly with the rest of us.

I think what's bizarre is this notion that he's a 5th starter and therefore the team can just chalk up his games to a "well what're you gonna do" and shrug it off. Fuck that. They have a 2 game lead in August. When Lester comes back they could easily replace Lackey with Montgomery. We're far too late in the game for "if everyone else steps up, the 5th starter shouldn't matter." With a 2 game lead, it all matters. Get every possible advantage you can and seize it (like maybe also benching Heyward, too).

It's not that bizarre to play down mediocrity out of the #5 spot; it's more often than not a reality.  The Cubs didn't have that issue last year because it was an exceptional year and everything pretty much went right.  But it sure was the case the year before when we had to clench ourselves through every one of Nice Guy Dan Haren's starts and and who could forget every single start that Sean Estes had in 2003 being a standard pants-shitting until he had the Sean Estes Game in late September and 1-hit the Reds?

I know nobody--least of all SKO--wants to hear this shit, particularly on the heels of a very genuinely disappointing week of play.  I was furious with Lackey myself with that meltdown.  But I'm also unhappy that this Rene Rivera dude can't block a breaking ball that goes right through his motherfucking 5-hole with a  runner on 3rd (and he also can't hit....how is this guy's veteran presence more valuable then what  Caratini brings?). I'm unhappy that the Cubs couldn't batter the shit out of this tomato can while his stuff was all over the place and his defense was betraying him in the 1st inning and instead settled for hoping that aforementioned shitbird Lackey could make 3 goddamn runs stand up.  I'm really fucking unhappy at Jason Heyward's very existence right now, and seeing him swing at the first pitch in the 8th inning after Baez singled and Sunday-hopping one right to the third baseman about made me want to kick a hole in the wall.  

Having said all that, I'd agree that Montgomery would probably represent a slight upgrade over Lackey right now and I'd be fine with it, but at the same time don't know how much of a difference it would make at this point.  I know ole' SKO really wants to pull the alarm and tell you, in his florid tongue, that they cannot fuck around because they're only two games ahead of the ooooh the Germans Brewers, but I don't feel compelled to jump on the Panic Train.  I say if they miss the playoffs--and actually get run down by the Brewers--because they didn't replace John Lackey by Labor Day that this team was a lot more flawed than just that.

In any event, I'm looking forward to the next 6 weeks because at the end of it we'll never have to deal with Lackey again and I won't have to feel icky by even remotely appearing to be defending him.

[SKO]

It's not that bizarre to play down mediocrity out of the #5 spot; it's more often than not a reality.  The Cubs didn't have that issue last year because it was an exceptional year and everything pretty much went right.  But it sure was the case the year before when we had to clench ourselves through every one of Nice Guy Dan Haren's starts and and who could forget every single start that Sean Estes had in 2003 being a standard pants-shitting until he had the Sean Estes Game in late September and 1-hit the Reds?

I know nobody--least of all SKO--wants to hear this shit, particularly on the heels of a very genuinely disappointing week of play.  I was furious with Lackey myself with that meltdown.  But I'm also unhappy that this Rene Rivera dude can't block a breaking ball that goes right through his motherfucking 5-hole with a  runner on 3rd (and he also can't hit....how is this guy's veteran presence more valuable then what  Caratini brings?). I'm unhappy that the Cubs couldn't batter the shit out of this tomato can while his stuff was all over the place and his defense was betraying him in the 1st inning and instead settled for hoping that aforementioned shitbird Lackey could make 3 goddamn runs stand up.  I'm really fucking unhappy at Jason Heyward's very existence right now, and seeing him swing at the first pitch in the 8th inning after Baez singled and Sunday-hopping one right to the third baseman about made me want to kick a hole in the wall.  

Having said all that, I'd agree that Montgomery would probably represent a slight upgrade over Lackey right now and I'd be fine with it, but at the same time don't know how much of a difference it would make at this point.  I know ole' SKO really wants to pull the alarm and tell you, in his florid tongue, that they cannot fuck around because they're only two games ahead of the ooooh the Germans Brewers, but I don't feel compelled to jump on the Panic Train.  I say if they miss the playoffs--and actually get run down by the Brewers--because they didn't replace John Lackey by Labor Day that this team was a lot more flawed than just that.

In any event, I'm looking forward to the next 6 weeks because at the end of it we'll never have to deal with Lackey again and I won't have to feel icky by even remotely appearing to be defending him.

That's my point that you're missing. This team is a lot more flawed than that. This shouldn't have mattered, but because Schwarber took half a year to start hitting, Injuries sapped Bryant of his power for a bit, Zobrist got hurt, Russell has under-achieved etc they are in a place where they could, conceivably, fall behind in the division, and so anyone, anyone, be they John Lackey, Jason Heyward, etc who is not performing right now and could potentially be even temporarily replaced by a marginal upgrade should be.

If the Cubs miss the playoffs I'm not going to look at this season and say "it's John Lackey's fault." That doesn't mean he's not a contributing factor and failing to replace him even though they could have because "he's just the 5th starter anyway and they have bigger problems" would be stupid.

Again, I don't give a shit that Shawn Estes sucked in 2003, if you look around the league right now, at the state of most playoff contenders, they are getting a hell of a lot more out of their fifth starters than the Cubs are getting from Lackey, as I already demonstrated earlier in this thread. The "he's not that bad for a 5th starter" argument is pure horseshit. He is that bad for a 5th starter. His FIP is second to last among all qualified starters in baseball and he leads the league in homers allowed. That's not better than literally anything, and letting him stay in the rotation after the trade deadline was inexcusable, even if it temporarily worked out because the team scored a metric fuckton of runs in his starts and he rode an unsustainable LOB% for a few weeks.

[Saul Goodman]

All this is moot once Justin "Kate Upton" Verlander bumps Lackey from the rotation. It's gonna hai.

UPDATE: It's not gonna hai.

[Yeti]

Fuck this fucking.....
Oh, very nice, John

[SKO]

Fuck this fucking.....
Oh, very nice, John

If you need a guy to give you a quick and efficient outing with the wind taking home runs out of the equation, Lackey is probably among a list of several dozen pitchers you might consider.

[SKO]

Big Game John came ready to play tonight

[Saul Goodman]

John Lackey... he's bad

[Quality Start Machine]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

[Saul Goodman]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

[SKO]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

[Saul Goodman]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

Anyone defending him now? He just fucked the bullpen, fucked Contreras, and fucked the score with his crybaby bullshit. I don't care if the umpire blew it. Do your damn job.

[SKO]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

Anyone defending him now? He just fucked the bullpen, fucked Contreras, and fucked the score with his crybaby bullshit. I don't care if the umpire blew it. Do your damn job.

No I would have gone absolutely as apeshit as John did there and I don't blame him. He had to fucking throw it down the middle, too, when the ump won't give you THAT pitch. Fuck umpires.

[flannj]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

Anyone defending him now? He just fucked the bullpen, fucked Contreras, and fucked the score with his crybaby bullshit. I don't care if the umpire blew it. Do your damn job.

No I would have gone absolutely as apeshit as John did there and I don't blame him. He had to fucking throw it down the middle, too, when the ump won't give you THAT pitch. Fuck umpires.

That was twice.
Fuck that ump.
Ejection during a play?

I need to calm down. God damnit.

[SKO]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

Anyone defending him now? He just fucked the bullpen, fucked Contreras, and fucked the score with his crybaby bullshit. I don't care if the umpire blew it. Do your damn job.

No I would have gone absolutely as apeshit as John did there and I don't blame him. He had to fucking throw it down the middle, too, when the ump won't give you THAT pitch. Fuck umpires.

That was twice.
Fuck that ump.
Ejection during a play?

I need to calm down. God damnit.

There's zero, fucking zero justification for ejecting Willson either. Dude was calming down, it was over, THEN ump tosses him.

[Saul Goodman]

John Lackey... he's bad

One hit, one run in three innings. Don't go all SKO on us here.

That was after the home run, which ol' John leads the league in allowing by the way, because he is in fact bad. Don't you judge me.

The old bastard has humiliated me the last several times I've bumped this thread following a first inning run because he almost always settles down afterwards. You gotta wait for that 4th run to cross before you get real cranky.

Anyone defending him now? He just fucked the bullpen, fucked Contreras, and fucked the score with his crybaby bullshit. I don't care if the umpire blew it. Do your damn job.

No I would have gone absolutely as apeshit as John did there and I don't blame him. He had to fucking throw it down the middle, too, when the ump won't give you THAT pitch. Fuck umpires.

That was twice.
Fuck that ump.
Ejection during a play?

I need to calm down. God damnit.

There's zero, fucking zero justification for ejecting Willson either. Dude was calming down, it was over, THEN ump tosses him.

I don't think he *had* to throw a meatball hanging breaking ball that anyone else but the pitcher would have hit over the wall.