Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

[Quality Start Machine]

I mean if they want to stop sucking I'm not gonna complain

This 9 game homestand would be a swell place to start.

[Saul Goodman]

God bless the Reds. I feel much better.

[Quality Start Machine]

God bless the Reds. I feel much better.

This weekend would be a great time for the Cubs and Brewers to wave as they pass each other in the standings.

[flannj]

God bless the Reds. I feel much better.

This weekend would be a great time for the Cubs and Brewers to wave as they pass each other in the standings.

The Reds are like Hadacol.
A cure for what ails you.

[Saul Goodman]

Those trade rumors had better be nothing more than just rumors. Never Samardzija.

[Quality Start Machine]

Those trade rumors had better be nothing more than just rumors. Never Samardzija.

The Cubs could have signed him when he was a free agent. They knew better.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

[Brownie]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

[flannj]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

[SKO]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

Comparing a reigning world championship team that seems, if anything, to be struggling largely because of slumping young players and veteran pitchers who are showing the wear and tear of an extra month and a half of (successful) high leverage, high stress pitches to the 2004 Cubs, an entitled group of veteran asshats is pretty Chuck-ian.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

Comparing a reigning world championship team that seems, if anything, to be struggling largely because of slumping young players and veteran pitchers who are showing the wear and tear of an extra month and a half of (successful) high leverage, high stress pitches to the 2004 Cubs, an entitled group of veteran asshats is pretty Chuck-ian.

You're missing the point.  It's how the Cubs are making Chuck feel.  He's unhappy that they're not winning and are underperforming just like in 2004.  Ergo, 2017 Cubs = 2004 Cubs and it's TIME TO START THROWING THE TOYS AROUND THE ROOM. 

[SKO]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

Comparing a reigning world championship team that seems, if anything, to be struggling largely because of slumping young players and veteran pitchers who are showing the wear and tear of an extra month and a half of (successful) high leverage, high stress pitches to the 2004 Cubs, an entitled group of veteran asshats is pretty Chuck-ian.

You're missing the point.  It's how the Cubs are making Chuck feel.  He's unhappy that they're not winning and are underperforming just like in 2004.  Ergo, 2017 Cubs = 2004 Cubs and it's TIME TO START THROWING THE TOYS AROUND THE ROOM. 

I realize sports are going to be really  boring if we respond "they just won the World Series" to everything and I understand why everyone wants them to be good right now and why they should be good right now and why it is frustrating they aren't. That said, THEY JUST FUCKIN WON THE WORLD SERIES. Has Kyle Schwarber really done nothing for you that you can't weather one bad f--king month (and it has been one bad month, his OPS was sitting above .800 as late as April 22nd) before you want to boot him to the fucking minors for no reason other than "I dunno but fuck him"? Nobody has to be happy their team is losing and no one rants about the Cubs Twitter Rational Fan "Only Meatballs Ever Feel Anger About Sportz" crap more than me but jesus, give them a break.

Shit, the main two issues with this team are pitching and hitting with RISP. In both cases there's every statistical argument to be made that nothing really is preventing them from being a very good team other than bad luck. They have one of the worst HR/FB %s as a staff of any team in baseball but have allowed the 6th fewest fly balls, period. Every damn ball hit in the air against them finds the seats. That should be unsustainable. Same with them having a top ten offense with nobody on base and the absolute worst offense with RISP. It's just bad luck. It's cruel and annoying and watching a team fail to score over and over is the worst thing in sports but find some higher-level response than "DURR DEMOTE EVERYBODY NOW".

Be better than Yellon, for fuck's sake.

[Quality Start Machine]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

Comparing a reigning world championship team that seems, if anything, to be struggling largely because of slumping young players and veteran pitchers who are showing the wear and tear of an extra month and a half of (successful) high leverage, high stress pitches to the 2004 Cubs, an entitled group of veteran asshats is pretty Chuck-ian.

You're missing the point.  It's how the Cubs are making Chuck feel.  He's unhappy that they're not winning and are underperforming just like in 2004.  Ergo, 2017 Cubs = 2004 Cubs and it's TIME TO START THROWING THE TOYS AROUND THE ROOM. 

Up is down, down is up. Cats and dogs living together. Huey calling for someone to be rational.

[Saul Goodman]

Cubs 2017 Let's Win Two!

Or even one!

After seeing Chuck wanting to send the whole team to Iowa (sending someone to Iowa to straighten him out didn't work for the Gitles family in the mid-80s), comparing the 2017 Cubs to the 2004 Cubs, and almost cheerleading this 5-game skid, I will say the 2017 World Series Game 4 win at Wrigley Field to continue the Cubs' 14-game postseason winning streak will be the world's largest FYC ever.

I agree. Chuck, it's like you want them to fail.
Oh wait, you're Chuck.

Comparing a reigning world championship team that seems, if anything, to be struggling largely because of slumping young players and veteran pitchers who are showing the wear and tear of an extra month and a half of (successful) high leverage, high stress pitches to the 2004 Cubs, an entitled group of veteran asshats is pretty Chuck-ian.

You're missing the point.  It's how the Cubs are making Chuck feel.  He's unhappy that they're not winning and are underperforming just like in 2004.  Ergo, 2017 Cubs = 2004 Cubs and it's TIME TO START THROWING THE TOYS AROUND THE ROOM. 

I realize sports are going to be really  boring if we respond "they just won the World Series" to everything and I understand why everyone wants them to be good right now and why they should be good right now and why it is frustrating they aren't. That said, THEY JUST FUCKIN WON THE WORLD SERIES. Has Kyle Schwarber really done nothing for you that you can't weather one bad f--king month (and it has been one bad month, his OPS was sitting above .800 as late as April 22nd) before you want to boot him to the fucking minors for no reason other than "I dunno but fuck him"? Nobody has to be happy their team is losing and no one rants about the Cubs Twitter Rational Fan "Only Meatballs Ever Feel Anger About Sportz" crap more than me but jesus, give them a break.

Shit, the main two issues with this team are pitching and hitting with RISP. In both cases there's every statistical argument to be made that nothing really is preventing them from being a very good team other than bad luck. They have one of the worst HR/FB %s as a staff of any team in baseball but have allowed the 6th fewest fly balls, period. Every damn ball hit in the air against them finds the seats. That should be unsustainable. Same with them having a top ten offense with nobody on base and the absolute worst offense with RISP. It's just bad luck. It's cruel and annoying and watching a team fail to score over and over is the worst thing in sports but find some higher-level response than "DURR DEMOTE EVERYBODY NOW".

Be better than Yellon, for fuck's sake.

Take a breath, champ.

[Brownie]

They are the 1986 Bears, they'll lose to Washington who'll lose to the league/conference champ setting up a New York/Denver championship that they'll play for reasons unknown in Pasadena, California, and featuring a team John Elway once played for and a team representing the National Conference/League that we Cubs fans will know even in 2048 were NOT ANYWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS THE 2016 CUBS!! (And we'll say that in between car commercials featuring Ben Zobrist, Jason Hammel and Tommy LaStella).

All we need is for Ryan Braun to body slam Jon Lester, making Joe Maddon to get an undrafted kid out of Ohio State take his spot in the rotation before finding Pedro Martinez's midget friend out of Boston to come in to pitch game 5 of the NLDS against Washington.