José Quintana: a Cub.

[Tonker]

How the fuck am I just now starting this thread, almost twenty-four hours after the trade went down?  I despair of this place.

[Quality Start Machine]

We're all over here working, we can't get 6 months off to eat Korean eel vulva like you.

[CBStew]

We're all over here working, we can't get 6 months off to eat Korean eel vulva like you.

Uuummm...64 slices of Korean eel vulva.

[Saul Goodman]

How the fuck am I just now starting this thread, almost twenty-four hours after the trade went down?  I despair of this place.

I was still workshopping thread titles, but you went with ... that. Which is fine I guess.

[Tonker]

How the fuck am I just now starting this thread, almost twenty-four hours after the trade went down?  I despair of this place.

I was still workshopping thread titles, but you went with ... that. Which is fine I guess.

It's tradition, man.  You're obviously jumping ahead to the splooge thread, but I think (after my Travis Wood TRIUMPH) I've been banned from creating any more of those.

[flannj]

After that performance I have The Heavy playing in my head right now.

I suggest that as his lineup nickname.

[Saul Goodman]

How the fuck am I just now starting this thread, almost twenty-four hours after the trade went down?  I despair of this place.

I was still workshopping thread titles, but you went with ... that. Which is fine I guess.

It's tradition, man.  You're obviously jumping ahead to the splooge thread, but I think (after my Travis Wood TRIUMPH) I've been banned from creating any more of those.

I think I'm ready for the splooge thread now.

[Wheezer]

After that performance I have The Heavy playing in my head right now.

To each his own.

[SKO]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

[Quality Start Machine]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

[SKO]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

Oh the meatballs don't bug me, it's the Extremely Rational Fans^TM who stand alone in the wilderness, the only souls smart enough and brave enough to say "umm, excuse me, but Prospects are actually Good and therefore this trade is bad." There are an annoying number of those, people who have spent way too much time writing about Cubs prospects the last 5 years and have reached the point where they can't rationally discuss parting with any of them and thus slander a dude like Jose Quintana as unworthy.

[Quality Start Machine]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

Oh the meatballs don't bug me, it's the Extremely Rational Fans^TM who stand alone in the wilderness, the only souls smart enough and brave enough to say "umm, excuse me, but Prospects are actually Good and therefore this trade is bad." There are an annoying number of those, people who have spent way too much time writing about Cubs prospects the last 5 years and have reached the point where they can't rationally discuss parting with any of them and thus slander a dude like Jose Quintana as unworthy.

Yeah, but that's kind of meatballish thinking too...do you think they'd feel any differently had the same 4 guys brought back Kershaw?

Look, the Cubs have two lefties in the rotation now that are as good as any two lefties the Cubs have had in (looks it up) ever. Yeah, I admit I thought the price was high at first, until I remembered that it cost Torres to get a rental that helped the Cubs win the World Series. If Torres ever becomes a 5 WAR guy for the Yankees, you don't think people here will piss and moan about it?

[SKO]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

Oh the meatballs don't bug me, it's the Extremely Rational Fans^TM who stand alone in the wilderness, the only souls smart enough and brave enough to say "umm, excuse me, but Prospects are actually Good and therefore this trade is bad." There are an annoying number of those, people who have spent way too much time writing about Cubs prospects the last 5 years and have reached the point where they can't rationally discuss parting with any of them and thus slander a dude like Jose Quintana as unworthy.

Yeah, but that's kind of meatballish thinking too...do you think they'd feel any differently had the same 4 guys brought back Kershaw?

Look, the Cubs have two lefties in the rotation now that are as good as any two lefties the Cubs have had in (looks it up) ever. Yeah, I admit I thought the price was high at first, until I remembered that it cost Torres to get a rental that helped the Cubs win the World Series. If Torres ever becomes a 5 WAR guy for the Yankees, you don't think people here will piss and moan about it?

Oh people bitch about losing Torres now, that never stopped. Most of 'em just point to game 7 as proof they didn't "need" Chapman, which kind of ignores how crucial he was in Game 5 among others, but oh well.

I agree we need to re-define meatball a bit. We live in a post-analytics world and have to stop assuming anyone with even a basic working knowledge of things like WAR or whatever has to be in "our" camp vs the meatball camp. The fact is prospect huggers and Dave Cameron-esque people who make up trade value rankings in a vacuum and tut tut any trade that doesn't line up perfectly in terms of their own scoring system are meatballs of a different sort. It's really just a more advanced way of doing the meatball fan trade proposal of "a buncha crap my team doesn't need for your star" whether they admit it or not.

[Quality Start Machine]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

Oh the meatballs don't bug me, it's the Extremely Rational Fans^TM who stand alone in the wilderness, the only souls smart enough and brave enough to say "umm, excuse me, but Prospects are actually Good and therefore this trade is bad." There are an annoying number of those, people who have spent way too much time writing about Cubs prospects the last 5 years and have reached the point where they can't rationally discuss parting with any of them and thus slander a dude like Jose Quintana as unworthy.

Yeah, but that's kind of meatballish thinking too...do you think they'd feel any differently had the same 4 guys brought back Kershaw?

Look, the Cubs have two lefties in the rotation now that are as good as any two lefties the Cubs have had in (looks it up) ever. Yeah, I admit I thought the price was high at first, until I remembered that it cost Torres to get a rental that helped the Cubs win the World Series. If Torres ever becomes a 5 WAR guy for the Yankees, you don't think people here will piss and moan about it?

Oh people bitch about losing Torres now, that never stopped. Most of 'em just point to game 7 as proof they didn't "need" Chapman, which kind of ignores how crucial he was in Game 5 among others, but oh well.

I agree we need to re-define meatball a bit. We live in a post-analytics world and have to stop assuming anyone with even a basic working knowledge of things like WAR or whatever has to be in "our" camp vs the meatball camp. The fact is prospect huggers and Dave Cameron-esque people who make up trade value rankings in a vacuum and tut tut any trade that doesn't line up perfectly in terms of their own scoring system are meatballs of a different sort. It's really just a more advanced way of doing the meatball fan trade proposal of "a buncha crap my team doesn't need for your star" whether they admit it or not.

There are three things everyone in the world thinks they can do better than the person doing it...drive a cab, run a hotel and build a baseball team.

Never mind that the guy currently doing it at 1060 W. Addison St. has proven to be one of the best in the history of baseball at doing at least one of these things. But I've never seen him drive, and I've never seen his picture in any of the hotels where I've stayed.

[PenFoe]

I don't really feel bad throwing his one great start in the faces of people who shat on the trade even though it's a small sample size since those people have already decided that 3-4 bad starts this year mean more than 150+ starts of awesome over the last 3 years. Anyone who had a problem with this trade can still get soundly fucked.

Forget it. Quintana can win World Series MVP each of the next three years, and the first time Eloy puts one into the upper deck at Glen Lerner Field (that's what it will be by then), meatballs will be lighting up the Score's call-in lines.

Oh the meatballs don't bug me, it's the Extremely Rational Fans^TM who stand alone in the wilderness, the only souls smart enough and brave enough to say "umm, excuse me, but Prospects are actually Good and therefore this trade is bad." There are an annoying number of those, people who have spent way too much time writing about Cubs prospects the last 5 years and have reached the point where they can't rationally discuss parting with any of them and thus slander a dude like Jose Quintana as unworthy.

Yeah, but that's kind of meatballish thinking too...do you think they'd feel any differently had the same 4 guys brought back Kershaw?

Look, the Cubs have two lefties in the rotation now that are as good as any two lefties the Cubs have had in (looks it up) ever. Yeah, I admit I thought the price was high at first, until I remembered that it cost Torres to get a rental that helped the Cubs win the World Series. If Torres ever becomes a 5 WAR guy for the Yankees, you don't think people here will piss and moan about it?

Oh people bitch about losing Torres now, that never stopped. Most of 'em just point to game 7 as proof they didn't "need" Chapman, which kind of ignores how crucial he was in Game 5 among others, but oh well.

I agree we need to re-define meatball a bit. We live in a post-analytics world and have to stop assuming anyone with even a basic working knowledge of things like WAR or whatever has to be in "our" camp vs the meatball camp. The fact is prospect huggers and Dave Cameron-esque people who make up trade value rankings in a vacuum and tut tut any trade that doesn't line up perfectly in terms of their own scoring system are meatballs of a different sort. It's really just a more advanced way of doing the meatball fan trade proposal of "a buncha crap my team doesn't need for your star" whether they admit it or not.

There are three things everyone in the world thinks they can do better than the person doing it...drive a cab, run a hotel and build a baseball team.

Never mind that the guy currently doing it at 1060 W. Addison St. has proven to be one of the best in the history of baseball at doing at least one of these things. But I've never seen him drive, and I've never seen his picture in any of the hotels where I've stayed.

Is this a thing? Is this the definitive list?