Can Jason Heyward Fucking Hit Ever

[Saul Goodman]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

[SKO]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

[Oleg]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

[SKO]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

[Quality Start Machine]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

[Saul Goodman]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

I just wanted to see a competitive AB. After the bottom of the eighth when the "due up" graphic showed that Heyward was up first, I said to myself "well there's an automatic out." I was not wrong. Also, water is wet.

[Tonker]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

I just wanted to see a competitive AB. After the bottom of the eighth when the "due up" graphic showed that Heyward was up first, I said to myself "well there's an automatic out." I was not wrong. Also, water is wet.

With a WHIP of 0.863, more than two out of three people who ever face Rivero are automatic outs, to be fair.

EDIT: for clarity

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

I just wanted to see a competitive AB. After the bottom of the eighth when the "due up" graphic showed that Heyward was up first, I said to myself "well there's an automatic out." I was not wrong. Also, water is wet.

With a WHIP of 0.863, more than two out of three people who ever face him are automatic outs, to be fair.

I did find it funny how the Pirates took the lead seconds before the 3rd out and this apparently left Clin Turtle unprepared and Rivero wasn't ready to come into the game right at the beginning of the inning.  They stalled and for a brief moment I was hopeful that Rivero would be wild/ineffective but alas that was not to be the case.  Dude's filthy.

[SKO]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

It's not my baseline for Heyward. I'm judging him on literally 1000 plate appearances of suck as a Cub. Based on those ONE THOUSAND PLATE APPEARANCES, Joe could MAYBE, just maybe, draw the conclusion that Heyward was even less likely than most to do something there, and trying to actually get a runner on base in a 1 run ballgame in a pennant race is a useful thing to do, rather than continuing to show faith in a guy who has done jack-all to justify that faith.

Shit, even if Joe wanted to stick to his annoying "true" day off rule and leave Rizzo on the bench, La Stella actually has reverse splits and has hit lefties to the tune .305/.383/.432 in his career. Pinch hit for the worthless shitdick who got 184 million dollars to hit like Roosevelt fucking Brown.

[Saul Goodman]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

I just wanted to see a competitive AB. After the bottom of the eighth when the "due up" graphic showed that Heyward was up first, I said to myself "well there's an automatic out." I was not wrong. Also, water is wet.

With a WHIP of 0.863, more than two out of three people who ever face Rivero are automatic outs, to be fair.

EDIT: for clarity

I also said I wanted a competitive AB, which that wasn't.

[SKO]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

It's not my baseline for Heyward. I'm judging him on literally 1000 plate appearances of suck as a Cub. Based on those ONE THOUSAND PLATE APPEARANCES, Joe could MAYBE, just maybe, draw the conclusion that Heyward was even less likely than most to do something there, and trying to actually get a runner on base in a 1 run ballgame in a pennant race is a useful thing to do, rather than continuing to show faith in a guy who has done jack-all to justify that faith.

Shit, even if Joe wanted to stick to his annoying "true" day off rule and leave Rizzo on the bench, La Stella actually has reverse splits and has hit lefties to the tune .305/.383/.432 in his career. Pinch hit for the worthless shitdick who got 184 million dollars to hit like Roosevelt fucking Brown.

Sorry. This is unfair. Brown had an 87 OPS+ as a Cub. Jason's is 82 this year, 75 overall. Sorry Rosie. Didn't mean to insult your legacy.

[Quality Start Machine]

With a WHIP of 0.863, more than two out of three people who ever face Rivero are automatic outs, to be fair.

That's absolutely staggering.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

By the way, are baseball swings supposed to look like someone trying to hack his way through the underbrush in a jungle?  Asking for a friend.

I don't know why Joe thought he needed to let Heyward face Rivero in the 9th (I know most of his bench options were left-handed, too, but unlike Jason Rizzo and La Stella can fucking hit, and fare pretty well against lefties mostly), but it really pissed me off. Guy has a .621 OPS going back to July and he's still going out there 3 out of every 4 days, and even when he was inserted as a defensive sub like last night he's still allowed a key at bat against an elite reliever. Bullshit.

ZenSKO needs more practice.

Nah I'm pretty much done with Heyward and done with Joe's patience with Heyward. Now is not the time to let him hack around and try to "find it." You have better options. Sit his ass down. He's a sub replacement-level player since the all star break and this is the second year in a row it has happened. This isn't a slump. He's a bad baseball player now.

Yeah, but elite relievers are elite relievers because they get pretty much everyone out. Picking that as your baseline for Heyward seems curious.

It's not my baseline for Heyward. I'm judging him on literally 1000 plate appearances of suck as a Cub. Based on those ONE THOUSAND PLATE APPEARANCES, Joe could MAYBE, just maybe, draw the conclusion that Heyward was even less likely than most to do something there, and trying to actually get a runner on base in a 1 run ballgame in a pennant race is a useful thing to do, rather than continuing to show faith in a guy who has done jack-all to justify that faith.

Shit, even if Joe wanted to stick to his annoying "true" day off rule and leave Rizzo on the bench, La Stella actually has reverse splits and has hit lefties to the tune .305/.383/.432 in his career. Pinch hit for the worthless shitdick who got 184 million dollars to hit like Roosevelt fucking Brown.

Sorry. This is unfair. Brown had an 87 OPS+ as a Cub. Jason's is 82 this year, 75 overall. Sorry Rosie. Didn't mean to insult your legacy.

Now I'm reaching SKO-levels of uncontrollable rage at the mention of Roosevelt Brown.

[SKO]

.243/.314/.314 since July 24th. Still starting every fucking game. Kyle Schwarber in that same time frame? .246/.341/.534. Sits the bench all weekend. But "matchups"

[R-V]

.286/.364/.449 in 55 September PA's with a 115 wRC+

He has now earned that $184 M and SKO must destroy his computer.