Can Jason Heyward Fucking Hit Ever

[SKO]

FYSKO

For a routine ground ball to the 1st baseman when the pitcher forgot to cover the bag? We used to have standards for these things.

And we do for Heyward too!

Come on. The green font was so heavily implied my entire phone screen turned green.

It occurred to me you may have been sarcastic after I responded but the first law of the internet is to interpret with minimal good faith and attack with maximum rhetorical force.

[Quality Start Machine]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

[SKO]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

[Saul Goodman]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Look at that OBP though! Good thing this thread wasn't named Can Jason Heyward Fucking Get On Base Ever.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

[R-V]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

[SKO]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

I did not! He's done some serious limp dick single slappin lately.

[SKO]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

Yeah, I mean someday when he is gone I suspect my nostalgic good feelings about him being even a tiny, miniscule, technically negative (if you go by WPA in the postseason at least) part of the first Cubs title in 108 years will outweigh my disappointment in what a colossal bust he has been. Right now, as I have to watch him go up there and no longer even take walks as he slaps into 4-3 put out after 4-3 put out, I can't help but want to yell loudly at him.

[Quality Start Machine]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

Yeah, I mean someday when he is gone I suspect my nostalgic good feelings about him being even a tiny, miniscule, technically negative (if you go by WPA in the postseason at least) part of the first Cubs title in 108 years will outweigh my disappointment in what a colossal bust he has been. Right now, as I have to watch him go up there and no longer even take walks as he slaps into 4-3 put out after 4-3 put out, I can't help but want to yell loudly at him.

Speaking of colossal busts, whatever happened to that lardass Christina Hendricks, amirite?

[Tonker]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

Yeah, I mean someday when he is gone I suspect my nostalgic good feelings about him being even a tiny, miniscule, technically negative (if you go by WPA in the postseason at least) part of the first Cubs title in 108 years will outweigh my disappointment in what a colossal bust he has been. Right now, as I have to watch him go up there and no longer even take walks as he slaps into 4-3 put out after 4-3 put out, I can't help but want to yell loudly at him.

It's quite something.  I don't know what the stats say, but my own eyes tell me that his ability to ground out weakly to second base is truly exceptional.

[Saul Goodman]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

Yeah, I mean someday when he is gone I suspect my nostalgic good feelings about him being even a tiny, miniscule, technically negative (if you go by WPA in the postseason at least) part of the first Cubs title in 108 years will outweigh my disappointment in what a colossal bust he has been. Right now, as I have to watch him go up there and no longer even take walks as he slaps into 4-3 put out after 4-3 put out, I can't help but want to yell loudly at him.

It's quite something.  I don't know what the stats say, but my own eyes tell me that his ability to ground out weakly to second base is truly exceptional.

By the time he steps to the plate, he is 60% of the way toward grounding out to second base already. That is absolutely staggering.

[Shooter]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Most people do BA/OBP/SLG/OPS

Please tell me you transposed #2 and #3.

Yeah yeah yeah it's cherry picking dates, but since Heyward signed there's basically been one 60 day period where he hasn't been a godawful awful offensive player. Even his good stretch didn't result in an .800 OPS.

May 23-July 23 of this season (209 PAs): .279/.311/.457/.768
All other games as a Cub (754 PAs):        .234/.311/.326/.637

Yeah, I mean someday when he is gone I suspect my nostalgic good feelings about him being even a tiny, miniscule, technically negative (if you go by WPA in the postseason at least) part of the first Cubs title in 108 years will outweigh my disappointment in what a colossal bust he has been. Right now, as I have to watch him go up there and no longer even take walks as he slaps into 4-3 put out after 4-3 put out, I can't help but want to yell loudly at him.

It's quite something.  I don't know what the stats say, but my own eyes tell me that his ability to ground out weakly to second base is truly exceptional.

Also adept at popping up on the infield.

[SKO]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Now .243/.329/.271 since this thread began. Sad part is if you go back to July 23rd, it gets worse (.212/.291/.263/.554). He's every bit as putrid as he was last year, if not worse, and without a 200 game lead in the division to make it tolerable I'd sure like Joe to decide to sit him sometime before the middle of October this year.

[Quality Start Machine]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Now .243/.329/.271 since this thread began. Sad part is if you go back to July 23rd, it gets worse (.212/.291/.263/.554). He's every bit as putrid as he was last year, if not worse, and without a 200 game lead in the division to make it tolerable I'd sure like Joe to decide to sit him sometime before the middle of October this year.

Even with his puny 1.2 WAR, Joe really doesn't have a lot of options out there. Although, with Zobrist's wrist seemingly healthy, putting Zobrist in RF while Heyward takes a few days off might not be the worst idea in the world.

[SKO]

What's Heyward's slash line since this thread started?

.270/.352/.302/.654

Shitty.

Now .243/.329/.271 since this thread began. Sad part is if you go back to July 23rd, it gets worse (.212/.291/.263/.554). He's every bit as putrid as he was last year, if not worse, and without a 200 game lead in the division to make it tolerable I'd sure like Joe to decide to sit him sometime before the middle of October this year.

Even with his puny 1.2 WAR, Joe really doesn't have a lot of options out there. Although, with Zobrist's wrist seemingly healthy, putting Zobrist in RF while Heyward takes a few days off might not be the worst idea in the world.

Zobrist is starting to hit, that opens up a lot of options. Could put Zobrist in RF, Happ/Almora platoon in CF. Could put Zobrist at 2B, La Stella at 3rd, Kris in the OF. If Russell is gonna be back soon that allows more flexibility with how they use Javy. Lots of Heyward-less options out there.