The Tyler "It's time for me to start playin' ball" Chatwood Sloogetacular

[Quality Start Machine]

Happy, Chuck?

[Saul Goodman]

MODS! I object. Tyler Chatwood is not the kind of guy who gets a preemptive "damn this dude is good" thread. Bryce Harper signs here? Ok, fine, yes. Start that shit. Tyler Chatwood? No. I'm holding both Fork and Chuck responsible for this.

[SKO]

MODS! I object. Tyler Chatwood is not the kind of guy who gets a preemptive "damn this dude is good" thread. Bryce Harper signs here? Ok, fine, yes. Start that shit. Tyler Chatwood? No. I'm holding both Fork and Chuck responsible for this.

I am loathe to agree with Saul ever but yes, what the fuck is wrong with you people

[CBStew]

MODS! I object. Tyler Chatwood is not the kind of guy who gets a preemptive "damn this dude is good" thread. Bryce Harper signs here? Ok, fine, yes. Start that shit. Tyler Chatwood? No. I'm holding both Fork and Chuck responsible for this.

I am loathe to agree with Saul ever but yes, what the fuck is wrong with you people

Ditto.  I know that December is a slow month for baseball news, but how low have we sunk that this is all that we have to talk about?

[SKO]

Shit I can remember when Tonk yelled at me for starting a Dexter Fowler splooge thread after he hit a game-winning HR off LaTroy Hawkins, and here just two years later we're starting pre-emptive threads for this year's Jason Hammel? Mais non.

[Chuck to Chuck]

MODS! I object. Tyler Chatwood is not the kind of guy who gets a preemptive "damn this dude is good" thread. Bryce Harper signs here? Ok, fine, yes. Start that shit. Tyler Chatwood? No. I'm holding both Fork and Chuck responsible for this.

I am loathe to agree with Saul ever but yes, what the fuck is wrong with you people

It's my fault that Fork is so easily goaded?

Maybe he's just pissed there was no malort at the bat mitzvah.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Happy, Chuck?

Very!

[Bort]

"The Thread That Acknowledges the Existence Of Tyler Chatwood"

[CBStew]

Happy, Chuck?

Very!

If you don't use this as your avatar I will lose all of my respect for you.

[Bort]

Happy, Chuck?

Very!

If you don't use this as your avatar I will lose all of my respect for you.

You still have respect for Chuck?

[flannj]

Happy, Chuck?

Very!

If you don't use this as your avatar I will lose all of my respect for you.

This is... spectacular.

[Tonker]

Shit I can remember when Tonk yelled at me for starting a Dexter Fowler splooge thread after he hit a game-winning HR off LaTroy Hawkins, and here just two years later we're starting pre-emptive threads for this year's Jason Hammel? Mais non.

To be fair, it wasn't the starting of the thread per se that wound me up (otherwise I'd have reacted to Fork rather than you), so much as the conclusions that were being drawn from an extremely small sample size:

So this is what having an actual leadoff hitter feels like...who knew?

And to get actual production from center field for the first time in ages seems nice. Outside of a half season of Edmonds in '08 that left me feeling as confused and dirty as that one summer at Camp Winnebago I don't think the Cubs have had a center fielder worth a shit since...fuck. I don't know.

I don't want to go all Eli on you, but c'mon guys: we're five games in, for fuck sake.

Yeah, but Fowler's career numbers (particularly OPB) indicate that this sort of thing will be a thing.

I'm happy to have him, but Fowler has been, until now, offensively speaking, very slightly above average.  For a CF, that's pretty nice, but not exactly setting anything on fire.  At his age, he's probably not going to get a hell of a lot better than he has been up to this point, either.  He's a decent part of a good team, but in years to come we're not going to be fondly reminiscing over the Dexter Fowler era.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, he's no Reed Johnson.

Still, holy shit was I wrong.

[Quality Start Machine]

Considering the fact that his GB% the past two years has been 57.2% and 58.1%, his having the Best Infield In The World_tm behind him will make him thread-worthy anyway.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Shit I can remember when Tonk yelled at me for starting a Dexter Fowler splooge thread after he hit a game-winning HR off LaTroy Hawkins, and here just two years later we're starting pre-emptive threads for this year's Jason Hammel? Mais non.

To be fair, it wasn't the starting of the thread per se that wound me up (otherwise I'd have reacted to Fork rather than you), so much as the conclusions that were being drawn from an extremely small sample size:

So this is what having an actual leadoff hitter feels like...who knew?

And to get actual production from center field for the first time in ages seems nice. Outside of a half season of Edmonds in '08 that left me feeling as confused and dirty as that one summer at Camp Winnebago I don't think the Cubs have had a center fielder worth a shit since...fuck. I don't know.

I don't want to go all Eli on you, but c'mon guys: we're five games in, for fuck sake.

Yeah, but Fowler's career numbers (particularly OPB) indicate that this sort of thing will be a thing.

I'm happy to have him, but Fowler has been, until now, offensively speaking, very slightly above average.  For a CF, that's pretty nice, but not exactly setting anything on fire.  At his age, he's probably not going to get a hell of a lot better than he has been up to this point, either.  He's a decent part of a good team, but in years to come we're not going to be fondly reminiscing over the Dexter Fowler era.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, he's no Reed Johnson.

Still, holy shit was I wrong.

It's a good thing for you that you pulled this yourself because if I had managed to stumble across this first, I'd have crucified you.  It's as if Fork and Chuck had a child together and it was this take.  Not only was it wrong, at the time, about Fowler's history (he was a decidedly an above-average OBP guy) but hitting a lead-changing 9th inning homerun with 2 outs off noted fuckstick LaTroy Hawkins to take an early-season series is an entirely appropriate time to start a splooge thread.  Bad, Tonker, BAD.

[Oleg]

1. An argument can be made that Fowler underperformed in 2015, compared to what he had done in his career up to that point.  In 2016, he was decidedly above average as a hitter.
2. Perhaps we can splooge about Chatwood's spin rate on his fastball for now?