Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower

[Tonker]

Feels worth mentioning that even with his awful 9 K in a row streak or whatever Kyle is at .242/.375/.455/.830 in August and .247/.350/.551/.901 since he returned from Iowa.

8. He only got to 2 strikes on his way to number 9 before being hit by a pitch.

That's absolutely staggering.

Everyone knows the great ones get hit after only 1 strike.

I am really not sure why Chuck has chosen to die on the Baez/Schwarber suck hills when there's a perfectly useless Jason Heyward right there.

You're completely missing the point of Internet Chuck.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Feels worth mentioning that even with his awful 9 K in a row streak or whatever Kyle is at .242/.375/.455/.830 in August and .247/.350/.551/.901 since he returned from Iowa.

8. He only got to 2 strikes on his way to number 9 before being hit by a pitch.

That's absolutely staggering.

Everyone knows the great ones get hit after only 1 strike.

I am really not sure why Chuck has chosen to die on the Baez/Schwarber suck hills when there's a perfectly useless Jason Heyward right there.

I have to hide my bonafides as a racist fuck, right SKO?

[SKO]

Feels worth mentioning that even with his awful 9 K in a row streak or whatever Kyle is at .242/.375/.455/.830 in August and .247/.350/.551/.901 since he returned from Iowa.

8. He only got to 2 strikes on his way to number 9 before being hit by a pitch.

That's absolutely staggering.

Everyone knows the great ones get hit after only 1 strike.

I am really not sure why Chuck has chosen to die on the Baez/Schwarber suck hills when there's a perfectly useless Jason Heyward right there.

I have to hide my bonafides as a racist fuck, right SKO?

I'm just laughing because I'm old enough to remember when Internet Chuck responded to Kris Bryant's July 2015 slump by telling us how "Kyle Schwarber is Everything Kris Bryant Was Supposed to Be". Life comes at you fast, I guess.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Feels worth mentioning that even with his awful 9 K in a row streak or whatever Kyle is at .242/.375/.455/.830 in August and .247/.350/.551/.901 since he returned from Iowa.

8. He only got to 2 strikes on his way to number 9 before being hit by a pitch.

That's absolutely staggering.

Everyone knows the great ones get hit after only 1 strike.

I am really not sure why Chuck has chosen to die on the Baez/Schwarber suck hills when there's a perfectly useless Jason Heyward right there.

I have to hide my bonafides as a racist fuck, right SKO?

I'm just laughing because I'm old enough to remember when Internet Chuck responded to Kris Bryant's July 2015 slump by telling us how "Kyle Schwarber is Everything Kris Bryant Was Supposed to Be". Life comes at you fast, I guess.

link, please

[SKO]

Feels worth mentioning that even with his awful 9 K in a row streak or whatever Kyle is at .242/.375/.455/.830 in August and .247/.350/.551/.901 since he returned from Iowa.

8. He only got to 2 strikes on his way to number 9 before being hit by a pitch.

That's absolutely staggering.

Everyone knows the great ones get hit after only 1 strike.

I am really not sure why Chuck has chosen to die on the Baez/Schwarber suck hills when there's a perfectly useless Jason Heyward right there.

I have to hide my bonafides as a racist fuck, right SKO?

I'm just laughing because I'm old enough to remember when Internet Chuck responded to Kris Bryant's July 2015 slump by telling us how "Kyle Schwarber is Everything Kris Bryant Was Supposed to Be". Life comes at you fast, I guess.

link, please

https://twitter.com/ivychat/status/633856264712249344

I guess it was "Schwarber is what we all wanted out of Bryant and Soler".

[SKO]

Large Adult Baseball Son struck out 8 times in a row and it lowered his OBP in August all the way down to .422.

[Quality Start Machine]

Large Adult Baseball Son struck out 8 times in a row and it lowered his OBP in August all the way down to .422.

He followed the 8 Ks by reaching base 8 times in a row.

[SKO]

Large Adult Baseball Son struck out 8 times in a row and it lowered his OBP in August all the way down to .422.

He followed the 8 Ks by reaching base 8 times in a row.

Right, my point was to point out to certain Chucklefucks that strikeouts are just outs, and Our Large Adult Baseball Son is not really making that many of them.

[Eli]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

[Canadouche]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

[Brownie]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

That was really Andy's hobbyhorse

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

That was really Andy's hobbyhorse

Unless Andy went public with this notion before June 2nd, I'd like to get a little credit.

[Brownie]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

That was really Andy's hobbyhorse

Unless Andy went public with this notion before June 2nd, I'd like to get a little credit.

This was May.

[Bort]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

That was really Andy's hobbyhorse

Unless Andy went public with this notion before June 2nd, I'd like to get a little credit.

This was May.

This one didn't age well.

20. Kyle Hendricks – As fifth starters go he's a pretty good one. [........] My guess is that when the Cubs make a trade to bring in a top notch starter to basically kick Lackey and Hammel down a notch in the playoff rotation that Kyle goes the other way in the trade. 

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

is the first year the Cubs will have two LH hitters with at least 30 home runs. Ever.

Why can't you use words like "might" or "could."

Fork was right.

That motherfucking seer also insanely predicted last year that Schwarber would be an October surprise.

That was really Andy's hobbyhorse

Unless Andy went public with this notion before June 2nd, I'd like to get a little credit.

This was May.

This one didn't age well.

20. Kyle Hendricks – As fifth starters go he's a pretty good one. [........] My guess is that when the Cubs make a trade to bring in a top notch starter to basically kick Lackey and Hammel down a notch in the playoff rotation that Kyle goes the other way in the trade. 

Oof.

And though there's no record of it due to the ephemeral nature of the Slackbox, But I began floating the idea about Schwarber there around the second week of May.  I remember because PenFoe mocked me mercilessly for the suggestion.