The 2016 Cubs: SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE

[Canadouche]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

I'm just not sure if it's a brag when the guy in question is getting lit up like the rag in a molotov cocktail, but I'll accept the ruling.

[Yeti]

It would be nice at times like this if most of the local media was interested in doing anything other than stoking the fires. Rondon was pitching in his first game in 12 days, his velocity was fine, he had no command. Strop is out but expected to be back before season's end. Edwards had his first bad outing of the year. That these things all happened relatively close to each other is not A BULLPEN IN CRISIS DO SOMETHIN THEO!!!!!!!!

It's understandable when fans do it because we're fucking stupid but it only ever gets worse when guys like Jesse Rogers scream it even louder than the fans do

Remember when the bullpen was going to be the best ever a few days ago? Well now that they aren't perfect I guess it's time to start over with 7 new guys. It's the only logical thing to do.

I mean if the Cubs were the Cardinals, and were battling for a wildcard spot with a half game lead I could understand being majorly concerned that they have a shaky set up man situation, but unless there's any reason to believe Rondon/Strop won't be healthy and ready in October (and as far as I've heard, there's not) then fuck it, who cares. The difference between Edwards/Grimm/Rondon/Chapman for a month and Edwards/Strop/Rondon/Chapman is maybe 2-3 blown saves, at worst, so they might only win 101 games instead of 104. BFD.

Let swee if Jepstink swap out Smith for Papelbon.

With Lackey and Chapman, they're already magnitudes less likable than last year's team, so sure. Might as well add another asshole.

There's zero risk. Might as well see if he can pitch the 7th. Smith doesn't seem to be able to keep it in the park.

Kris Bryant likes his neck the way it is, thank you

Even though Harper's douchiness doesn't bother me one bit, Bryant is not the lightning rod of a dude like Harper.

[Eli]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

[ChuckD]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

[Bort]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Doubles? The Kansas City Barbecue of Tennis?

[Yeti]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

It's right here: http://desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=8892.0

[Oleg]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

[Eli]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

[PenFoe]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

Best fake name ever.

[Eli]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

Best fake name ever.

Considering Kurt's story about "Joe Smith" is what kicked this off, it does seem appropriate.

[Oleg]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

Did you call him and yell at him for giving away that point to Hewitt and, therefore, causing my Facebook feed to be filled with "This is sprtzmanship!" bullshit?

[Saul Goodman]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

There are presidents of countries with less thorough Wikipedia articles. It's missing one thing though: a list of his former coaches.

[Yeti]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

And the kid can't even follow you on twitter? What a prima donna

[ChuckD]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

There are presidents of countries with less thorough Wikipedia articles. It's missing one thing though: a list of his former coaches.

I noticed it mentions that Jim Courier doesn't like his forehand. So the article could be edited to mention that it definitely wasn't Eli Gieryna that taught him how to hit his terrible forehand.

[Saul Goodman]

I would like to think that Smith will work out his issues, and I'm not just saying that because he's close friends with a close friend. I think the Cubs have enough room in the standings to give their guys the chance to work it out.

But you didn't hesitate to mention it.

He got lost on his way to the humblebrag thread. Honest mistake, as my friend's brother's friend's ex-wife's uncle, who met Ron Coomer at a gas station once, always says.

Where is that thread? I was looking for it yesterday when a kid I used to coach in tennis won an Olympic gold medal.

Phht. In doubles.

Seriously, that's pretty cool.

Wait.  Really?  That's incredibly cool, man.  Brag away.

It's true. I was his high-school coach his junior and senior years. I'll admit I wasn't doing a lot of actual coaching of his game (at least not from a technical "this is how you hit a forehand" perspective) since he was mostly beyond my expertise by that point, but I still get a "hey, coach" whenever I run into him, so I'll take it.

There are presidents of countries with less thorough Wikipedia articles. It's missing one thing though: a list of his former coaches.

I noticed it mentions that Jim Courier doesn't like his forehand. So the article could be edited to mention that it definitely wasn't Eli Gieryna that taught him how to hit his terrible forehand.

"I really should have pushed him harder to adopt my technique for the forehand," said his former coach and mentor Eli Gieryna. "He did exactly what I said for everything else, but that's the one that got away."